Destructively Seek To Be Forsaken / Shady Version Of Love

I was simply a one-hit wonder having fifteen minutes of fame in your heart
but I still feel like getting on the next train and attempting to discover
which station to alight from so that I can make happiness exude from
this strange brew that has been created from my crazy and shady version of love.

And I explained to you how I was born with an emotional void in my heart
which should have been filled by love from my father so when a man wants me
I know how to give myself to him completely but instead I always destructively seek to be
forsaken even though I really wish to be even half the woman a true gentleman like you deserves.

And even though this bitterness from my childhood will always be embedded in my existence,
I have enough command to hold responsibility over my actions, quit offering you disguised philters
and instead let love occur naturally through the movements within our universe, but now your
gravity pull won't allow me anywhere near your ground of love where I wanted to live at home.

And I know that you have an intense dislike for me right now, but the prosopography you
have conducted does not match my true self and even though I cannot go back to
beautifully repaint the caliginous tears cried, I pray for your understanding of my bad attendance
but good intentions but most of all I hope for the best in your life where I cannot be.