Traitor. Traitor. Traitor.

She stares at the ceiling and breathes in a harsh breath, hating herself for the way her body's reacting. Dots on the ceiling form shapes, lines, pictures. She closes her eyes and tries to imagine the night sky outside, with constellations, stars and the whole universe to explore.

The very same stars explode behind her eyelids, and again, the words invade her mind-traitor, traitor, traitor. Her body betrays her as she fights to stop the sounds from ripping out of her mouth. Her toes curl and her back arches off the bed. Hips buck up to meet the intrusion.

She wishes it hurts more. Sometimes she wants it to hurt so much that she forgets about feeling good-because she doesn't feel good. It's not supposed to feel good.

But he's always so sincere. His touches are soft and reverent, worshiping. His heavy weight pauses above her as he pants. For a moment the only sound in the room is their heavy breathing. In complete darkness, with the sliver of moonlight from the window, his frame is dark and bulky above her. They're both hot and sweaty and it's disgusting. Her eyes burn with hot tears and she feels the acid bubbling in her stomach, threatening to rise up her throat.

Then he's pushing himself inside her once again, touching something deep inside, something that she wasn't even sure existed before then. Eventually, when she starts to flutter around him, she screams and cries because she doesn't want to orgasm for him. She can feel his eyes watching her as he quickly finishes himself off, pulling out so his seed spills onto her stomach.

When it's over, she's left crying on her bed. He quickly whispers reassurances and "I love you", again and again as he slips his clothes on and leaves the room, not before telling her that she's a good girl for helping her daddy out. She cries and cries until the bile returns and she's rushing to the bathroom. She stays kneeling in front of the toilet until her alarm goes off and she has to get ready for school.