A/N: I'm pleased that people liked the story, so I went ahead and wrote a chapter focusing on Austin before the events, in a somewhat drabble format. I'm also working on another chapter detailing their relationship afterwards, but that's probably as far as I'll go. Again, thank you guys for being so nice :)

X

…Three Weeks Before…

"It's all really quite simple."

Despite my skeptical scoff, Jacob beams me a charming smile, his hands folded behind his head and posture splayed out in the highly uncomfortable wooden chair. I try my best to convey all my feelings into our staring contest, but he continues with that silly grin, as though all that he said was no big deal.

"You're mental," I voice, to which his smile widens and he bursts into a laughing fit.

I'm not amused by this at all.

I didn't think anyone would ever find out about my forbidden feelings concerning my brother, so when his best friend approaches me out of the blue with a ridiculous proposition, excuse me for not happily going along with it. For all I know, it's all some big, sick joke to force me out of the closet. For close to two years now, I've resigned myself to my fate. I don't need anyone mocking me for it. Especially not those two clowns.

"It's a work of genius!" he exclaims, leaning forward with earnest excitement. I lean back with a distasteful look on my face; he pretends not to notice. "I'm trying to help you out here, Austin. Alright? That's all. We're friends-"

"The hell we are," I mutter, turning my eyes away to find any sort of interest in the long shelves of academic books. They're all about science and physics, something I hardly excel at.

"Well, after this I'm sure you'll be calling me your best friend. Am I right?"

"No, shut up."

It's very miniscule, but his eyebrows furrow when I stand up. "I don't see why you don't want to do it," he says solemnly.

I grimace. Is he really that stupid? How did my brother meet him? Seriously. "Oh gee, I don't know," I respond sarcastically, "there's the fact that Dustin's as straight as something incredibly straight. Then well, dunno if you noticed or not, we're brothers, and just because I like him more than that doesn't mean I'm willing to destroy what we have. Can you imagine the look on his face once he finds out what we planned? He'd kill us!"

"You're being incredibly overdramatic."

I wave him off and turn on my heel. As I leave the back corner of the library, where he had said he wanted help with an essay (there isn't one, of course), he laughs just under his breath, smugly, his voice loud and daunting in the quiet building.

"I'll be here when you change your mind."

…17 Days Before…

A gasp catches in my throat and my eyes shoot open, the naked glow of the moon aimed directly into my flushed face.

The only sounds are my harsh breathing and the soft snores on the other side of the room, my heart beating out of control in my chest as adrenaline scours a path through my veins. Unsurprisingly, I'm drenched in a fresh layer of sweat and feeling uncomfortably antsy. I don't have to look down at myself to know that my dream caused a reaction in me. A dirty reaction. A wrong reaction.

I close my eyes and slowly mutter under my breath that "it was just a dream" over and over until the mantra becomes something like a lullaby. Once I'm able to breathe right without a sob wanting to tear itself free from my lungs, I reopen my eyes and sit up. Automatically, my gaze gets drawn to the bed opposite mine, to the ruffled sheets and to the gentle up down of my brother's chest. My staring can only be described as wistful, and I wonder if it's because of my dreamy looks that Jacob put one and one together. Embarrassed by the thought that I'm my own worst enemy, I turn away from Dustin.

As stealthily as I can, I ease out of bed and tiptoe across the room. My brother's always been a heavy sleeper, and doesn't so much as roll over when I open the door and slip out into the hallway. Like that first night, I make the bathroom my destination, and as soon as I'm surrounded by the familiar, comforting setting, I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. It feels good to let it out without waking him up and having him pester me on my troubles sleeping. I wouldn't know what to say. I was never a very good liar, not like him, and with the right amount of pushing, he'd be able to drag the truth out of me, piece by ugly piece.

An involuntary shudder runs down my spine along with a familiar, unwanted lurch tugging at my gut at the thought of what would happen. My eyes sweep towards the toilet on reflex, and like every single time it happens, I kneel in front of it and vomit.

…11 Days Before…

"What's wrong with you?"

I nearly jump out of my skin. Not because it's the first words Dustin's said to me all day, not because it's really quite out of the blue, and not because I have no answer for it. It's because of the way he says it, with a deep level of concern that's very unlike him. He was never one for feelings or hugging or talking or anything we males supposedly aren't allowed to do, and I was sure he'd be like that until he dies.

I'm really, pleasantly, surprised.

"What do you mean?" I ask after a brief moment, hoping he doesn't notice the blush rising to my cheeks.

His brow narrows and he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. Unnervingly, his gaze bores into mine, until I feel as though he's trying his best to see into my soul. I quickly break eye contact. He can't ever know it. It's black and twisted and plain out ugly, mangled by my sin. I hate this. "Why are you asking stupid questions?" he retaliates. When I don't say anything, he huffs and gestures towards me vaguely. "Look, don't think I haven't noticed."

"Noticed what?" I ask uneasily.

"Your moodiness," he says simply. "You're just about the happiest person I know. What's up?"

I duck my head. I should've known this conversation would come up, sooner or later. I was hoping for never. "It's nothing…"

His blue eyes bore into my forehead, causing more heat to rise to my face. I squirm under his scrutiny. Where's a distraction when I need one?

"We're twins."

Now it's my turn to do the eyebrow furrowing, both at his 'no shit' statement and the fact that those simple words really hit home. He's right. We're twins. Twins. Identical right down to the mole on the bottom of our right heels. The only difference lies in our personalities, and I suppose that could be the anchor in all of this. He's completely my opposite, more outgoing and somewhat of a bad boy. He dresses like he's worth a million bucks and isn't afraid to speak his mind. I could never be like him. So I like him.

"My, you have wonderful observation skills," I say sarcastically, and put on a wan smile to hide my shame.

To my amusement, he rolls his eyes and flops down onto his back, his limbs sprawled out all spread-eagle. It's strangely cute. "Look, I'm saying that I know you, dude. Call it a twin thing, but I just know."

I sigh. Right… if you knew you'd be beating the shit out of me, not giving me a talk.

Yeah, you know me.

…9 Days Before…

It can't be helped it can't be helped it can't be helped it can't it can't it can't

The words repeat over and over inside my head as I shakily touch myself under my sheets.

Dustin blissfully remains dead to the world and my actions, innocently naïve to how I really feel about him. It's hard for me to keep quiet, to the point where my throat is sore with all my muted grunting. If we weren't sharing a room, this would be one hundred percent better. I could be as loud as I want, as free…

To me, it's punishment.

…5 Days Before…

"How are you?"

"I feel like crap," I mutter bitterly into the receiver.

"Aw," Jacob coos, "that's too bad."

I resist growling out a string of curses. "What do you want?"

"Just wondering if you've thought about my offer. It's been a while since we talked."

"Why are you so interested in what goes on between us?" I disregard his nudging.

Truth is, I have thought about it. Extensively.

He sighs and lets his voice drop in volume, suddenly sounding twice his age. "Look, I'm tired of seeing you moping about. It's not healthy."

"Dustin practically said the same thing," I blurt without thinking.

At once, Jacob returns to his usual excitable self. "Ha! See! If he can notice that something's not right, that means it's about damn time you do something. Have some faith."

"If I had faith, I wouldn't be in this predicament right now!" I snap. "I think you should just leave me alone."

"Austin, wait. This is serious."

What's going on? When did Dustin and Jacob suddenly start acting alike? They're both eerily acute to my depression and keep making fucking obvious statements. It's almost like…

A cool chill zips through my spine.

Did Dustin know, too? Did Jacob tell him? Are they in on this together? Or am I too transparent? Which is it?

"I- I gotta go."

"Austin-!"

…2 Days Before…

"Jacob, I can't… help me…"

X

A/N: It really wasn't my intention for him to be an angstbucket, but eh.