33After dinner last night, Piper was genuinely unsure what Damian's problem was. No way she expected him to be 100% on board no questions asked, but she never anticipated him to be so cagey. And it wasn't even the normal type of suspicion that naturally comes with working with a convict. It wasn't as if she was certain that she could count on him to hold up his end of the deal entirely either, but she still trusted him about three inches farther than she could throw him.
In her lifetime, she had pulled over 200 heists, and all of them were successful. She was only even suspected in 53 thefts, and that was mostly because the police would try to nail her for anything that happened that remotely related to art. In Damian's lifetime, on the other hand, he'd robbed two banks and failed half of the time. Obviously, she was more qualified to organize a prison escape, but he couldn't even give her that.
When she explained her reasoning for not telling him everything and her reason for expecting access to his bank account, she made a pretty rational argument. His reluctance to trust her was starting to unnerve her a little bit. What if he had some sort of doubt the night they'd leave? There wouldn't be any time to console him, and to be frank, she probably wouldn't have the patience for it. Needless to say, she was pretty anxious to get to breakfast and find out if he did what she asked.
But, he wasn't there.
She surveyed the cafeteria every five minutes, and nothing. Once she was back in her cell, Damian didn't escape her mind for even a second. When she went for her hour of exercise, she knew she had to talk to her cousin, the reason she and Damian were even speaking in the first place. Also known as the person she would kill if everything didn't work out.
"Did you get it yet?" he asked her, subtly adjusting the tazer on his belt as she picked up a weight. She kind of wanted to hit him with it because no she had not gotten it yet, just like the last time he asked, and she'd be shocked if she got it anytime soon.
"I need you to get more information, Tommy. He seems like his number one mission in life is to think I'm going to stab him in the back and I want to know why that is and how I can fix it."
"You want me to go back into his file, and dig up shit from his life that's not in his file, so you can manipulate him into trusting you?"
"He's not cooperating! What do you expect me to do?"
"Stop being an idiot would be a good start. Look, with everyone you've ever stolen art with, you had some sort of relationship with them. You have no relationship with this guy and you're telling him to fly blind. If you want this to work you need to at the very least have a professional relationship with him or there's no way in hell he's going to take your word for anything. Peter needs at least five months to get everything set up, so take the time to get to know Maddox instead of acting like some big bad mafia boss. You're not a mafia boss."
"I could be a mafia boss."
"I'm being serious, Pipe."
"I know, I know." She hated that he was right. "Could you still try to get more on him? Knowing his criminal history only helps so much."
Tom shook his head. "Talking to you is like walking in circles, honestly."
She resisted the urge to punch his arm. She was a prisoner, he was a guard. It wasn't uncommon for guards so speak with the inmates, but giving one a stubborn punch was a lot less normal. No one knew about the relationship she had with Tommy, and it would be best to keep it that way. Unless…
"I think I'm going to tell Damian about you. It would be a good start in your whole getting-Damian-to-trust-me-in-legitimate-manners scheme."
"The fact that you call it a scheme make it completely illegitimate."
Piper rolled her eyes and did a bicep curl. "It's the best I can do on such short notice. So how's the fam?"
"Let's just say that it's more eventful— and violent, come to think of it— than spending my day around prisoners."
All Piper could give him was a sigh. She really did need to get out of here.
—
The next time she saw Doubtful Damian the Dickhead, he was smoking in the courtyard and sitting atop of his usual table.
As good as Tommy made his idea sound, Piper wasn't exactly sure how well it would play out in reality. Damian proved time and time again that he's not exactly the orthodox definition of "predictable." Every goddamn time Piper worked a scenario in her mind, the first thing that would come out of Damian's mouth would turn her whole plan to shit. It was unrelentingly frustrating, and they've had less than 10 conversations.
"Fuck off," he greeted once she was ten feet away. "This is my time and I don't want you here."
She sat down next to him. "Tough shit."
"Careful, if you sit here long enough I may think you actually want to be here. Which would be tragic because this is my time and I don't want you here."
"So I heard."
"You're really fucking annoying, you know that?" he said, taking a lazy drag. "And you owe me two cigarettes since you keep ruining them. Three, if you count the time you graced my life with your presence."
Her eyebrows must have shot up three feet. "Graced?"
"By 'graced' I mean absolutely fucking ruined, obviously."
"Obviously," she echoed. She should have seen that coming. "So did you write it down?"
For a second he said nothing, and Piper mentally started preparing for a tirade. "Yup."
"You did?"
"Christ, the least you could do is pretend you're not surprised." Was she really that obvious? He wasn't even looking at her. "You're not getting it until you tell me something. I'd say a number for a piece of information, but I figure I'll have to hear more of your complaining if I did that."
She didn't think of that, actually. It would potentially be a good idea, since there was so much she had to tell him and so much she wanted to know about him. "Say we go with your idea," Piper found herself saying. "But with little alteration. I'll tell you another piece of the plan every time you tell me something about you that can help my brother make sure no one recognizes you where you go."
Damian was full of surprises today, apparently. He looked confused. "I have to learn everything about you, okay? If you're in a town the your high school sweetheart lives in and you run into her, she's going to recognize her ex and she's probably going to know you're supposed to be in jail," she explained. "We don't want that happening because if anyone gets any leads on you they're going to think they can get leads on me and that's not good for me."
Really, all Peter needed was his personal information— height, weight, etc.— to create his new identity and ensure no one would ever find him out. There was no such thing, though, as Piper knowing too much about a person. Especially if she had to tell him her ingenious plan of escape and trust him to follow through with it. Especially if Damian decided it would be cute to take said brilliant plan and screw her.
"So for everything I tell you, you have to tell me something?"
"It sounds fair, does it not?"
"It was my goddamn idea why are you trying to nonchalantly ask if I'm all right with it?"
"Well are you?"
"Yeah, dipshit, I am."
"Then we have deal." She turned so she could whisper in his ear. "If you tell me anything that's not 100% true, my cousin— Tommy Garza, you know, the prison guard?— will make your life a living hell, got it?"
Damian showed no visible reaction.
"Just so we're clear," he said, digging in his pocket before pulling out a small folded piece of paper, "if you tell me anything that's not 100% true, I— Damian Maddox, you know, me— will make your life worse than any hell you can imagine. Just so we're clear."
Not having any intention of lying to him again, she wasn't really scared by his threat, but seeing the suppressed brutality shining in his uncharacteristically light green eyes made her think she probably shouldn't have in the first place, even if it was just a tiny white lie.
—
It was never exactly easy for Damian to fall asleep, but ever since Piper Castell came into his life it became that much harder. On the (fairly long and constantly growing) list of things that she did that pissed him off, making him lose what little sleep he got was pretty high up.
Tonight, Damian's focused on how the hell it was possible that Thomas Garza— the prison guard, Thomas Garza— and Piper were related. He wasn't really certain if he believed it or not, but he was taking that 'leap of faith' or whatever the hell bullshit Piper was spewing. With a parachute though, because fuck faith.
He couldn't figure out a solid reason for why Piper would lie about a prison guard being related to her, but that didn't stop him from not believing her. For the next few days, Damian kept an eye on Officer Garza. And Piper. And Officer Garza with Piper, though he didn't actually see them talking, or acknowledging each other in any manner. He couldn't see any similarities between the two. For starters, Garza was tall, stocky, and dirty blond when his supposed cousin was short, lithe, and brown-haired. In the past, Damian had a few dealings with other inmates in which Garza intervened, in which he proved himself to be one scary mother when he wanted to be, but still more likeable than his dear 'cousin.'
Hell, the only thing less likeable than Piper would be Piper's evil twin. He looked around for a piece of wood to knock on after the thought because for all he knew, she could very well have a twin.
Not for the first time, Damian thought that maybe running from jail with a woman he didn't know or like wasn't the best idea. It was too late, but he wished he never let her have access to his bank. Even if she did have every intention of telling him the absolute truth, she was still pretty haughty, and maybe even slightly narcissistic. Perhaps he was being a pussy about it, but he wasn't exactly sure if he wanted to assist someone he disliked as much as he was starting to Piper Castell.
Then again, it wasn't like he had a bunch of other offers lined up, and even she was better than three decades in jail— slightly. Plus, now that she knew how to get all his money, and he knew that Thomas Garza could possibly be Piper's cousin, he really had no choice but to keep going, no matter how much he wanted to turn back to the beginning and tell Piper to fuck off a dozen more times.
He looked up at the metal bed frame, where his roommate Larry slept. Lucky bastard only had about a a month and a half left before his release. He did his time, patiently waiting the five years he received for dealing. Soon, he'd be reunited with his wife and his adorable little girl, who'd be turning eight later this year. Damian couldn't help but think about Sophie. If she stayed, and if her baby were his, maybe he could patiently wait out his sentence like Larry did, knowing that there were people out there for him, eager to see him come home.
Obviously, his lack of sleep was making him far too sentimental than he would have liked, but he could see that once Larry was gone, he'd once again be completely alone.
He couldn't have asked for a worse thought to have right before he drifted off to sleep.
A/N: Disclaimer: There's a lot of cursing in this story (hello, Captain Obvious) so if that sort of thing bothers you, you've actually probably already stopped reading.