1This is the third in my set of writing exercises.
It's more important that I get reviews to this one!
The reason? One of these passages will be included in the completed story. You'll understand better when I ask for opinions at the end...
For now... I'm just going to get into it :)
Exercise:
Take a passage you wrote and give the perspective a switch: rewrite the piece from the another perspective, be it that of another character or a third-person perspective. Think about the pros and cons to each perspective. Which one do you like better? Why? The point of this exercise it to show that no two points of view are ever the same…
Thought Process...
…I really didn't want to dig through and find something I wanted to use for this, so I wrote both parts for this exercise when I completed it…
Bryant:
I'd opened the door, not thinking about the fact that Emery was changing –after all, we were both 20-year old men. Seeing each other naked wouldn't be all that strange.
Yet it was only after I'd glimpsed the graceful curve of an abundant breast that I realized I hadn't seen Emery even partially naked since we were young –like pre-pubescent.
She still wore pants –thank Tor for that– but she'd removed her shirt and seemed to have just finished the process of unwrapping her breasts. Wide green eyes became absolutely horrified when she realized what I'd seen.
"Bry." Her voice… had it always been that high? She didn't have an annoyingly high-pitched voice, but it was higher than most any guy I'd met.
"I… S-sorry," I stuttered, trying not to blush. My mind finally seemed to unfreeze long enough for me to lock the door from the interior panel. It was hard to keep my eyes averted the entire time it took her to finish changing, but I managed.
Her hand rested on my shoulder. Had it always been so petite and delicate? I had never noticed before.
"Bry, I'm so sorry."
For what? something in a darker corner of my mind asked. For proving that I'm not gay for my best friend?
Emery:
I looked up when the door suddenly slid open, the spider-silk wraps falling from my hands as I met those evocative sea-colored eyes.
This was the situation I had been carefully dancing around for twenty years. And now, it was in my best friend's bedroom.
"Bry." His name escaped even as I realized he was still trying to reconcile what he'd just seen with what he knew to be true.
"I… S-sorry," stuttered the ever-eloquent man as I watched color rise to ride high on his cheekbones.
When he turned his back to me, I heard the door slide shut and lock. Bry had special codes for this room, and only he and I knew them. There was no way we'd be getting any other unexpected interruptions, but likewise, there was no way I would escape this room without giving him an explanation.
He faced away the entire time it took me to redress. All the while, my mind whirred through the possibilities of what I could say. I'd dreamed and day-dreamed this moment thousands of times, yet in this very real moment, all of my clever monologues, quips, and methods of distraction deserted me.
"Bry, I'm so sorry."
It was all that would come out, but it didn't feel like nearly enough.
Okay, so the major problem for me here is that I like both perspectives. I will be alternating chapters written from these two perspectives, in fact.
Since this is one of the big reveals of the story, it will be in the final product. The question is: which one will be included?
That's where you come in. Please, leave a review telling me which perspective you liked better and why...
Whichever is the best liked will be in the completed novel...
Ever at your pleasure,
~Sins~