A really short, embarrassing one. I kinda like it.

For all you Karens out there.


Not to-do #2: When you accidentally-on-purpose fall on him…don't knee him where it hurts.

Eight girls on a mission.

Determined to do whatever it takes to complete it.

Glare at random freshmen? You got it.

Narrowly avoid suddenly opening doors? With ease.

Block traffic in the hallway? No problem.

Troop warpath to the bathroom: beware flying secrets and exploding giggles.

"Oh look! He's coming this way! I'm going to push you on top of him," sang Sarah. She winked. "Then he'll catch you when you fall, and you'll live happily ever after!"

Of course Sarah would spot the stupid boy before I could.

I swear, that girl had a sixth sense for the other gender.

We called it PPS.

Penis Positioning System.

She really would make a lovely FBI agent.

At Sarah's words, my other full-bladdered comrades-in-arms nudged me from all sides.

Who needs machine guns when you've got pointy elbows?

I grumbled, "Shut up. Don't you dare. DOOOONN'T YOU DA-"

And…I fell.

Unfortunately, not the way ANYONE planned.

"OH MY GOSH, I'M SO SORRY. I'M REALLY SORRY. Are you okay?" my eyes widened.

"Yeah, I'm…I'll be fine. Umm…could you…?" he winced and closed his eyes for a moment, from embarrassment, probably.

Aww crap. Just great. He's supposed to CATCH ME. Not fall WITH ME. With me on top of him. How awkward. Now how does he expect mes to face him next period?

Hey, what'd you get on number 8? By the way, I'm sorry for crushing your lungs at lunch today.

Oh, you forgot to do step 6. You didn't suffer a concussion, did you? Because I'm sure my parents have insurance-

"Hello? Amy? Could you…umm..." he had his nose scrunched up.

How cute. Did I ever mention those adorable freckles on his nose? And the way his dark brown hair really matched his eyes and-

"AMY. MOVE YOUR DAMN KNEE FROM HIS BALL SACS AND STAND THE HELL UP."

Oh. Right. Thanks, Karen.

"Seriously, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" I stood up awkwardly, trying not to fall again.

Dylan slowly got up. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."

His best friend Matt tossed a basketball in his face and he caught it with ease.

Matt winked at some passing girls, flexing. He shot a "LET'S MOVE, MAN" look at Dylan.

"It's cool. Let's just forget it happened," Dylan flashed me a bright smile and started to walk backwards down the hallway.

"Are you sure-"

"AMY. I SWEAR. IF I DON'T PISS IN THE NEXT 2 MINUTES, I WILL DO IT IN YOUR LOCKER."

"Sorry, Karen."


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-Zee