you smile at me and

i see every conversation replay

in my mind

as clear as

day

i see your face

shocked

with the admission that i

am the only one you can imagine

living with

that you can see the both of us

ten

fifteen

thirty

years in the future

going about our ways exactly as

today

sitting at your kitchen counter

nursing steaming cups of coffee

in companionable silence

lounging on your tv room couch

suffocating on the happiness of our laughter

watching spongebob squarepants

my arm presses against yours

burning with the warmth of your skin

your head turns towards mine

so
very
close

whispering in the dark

shoulders shaking with giggles

eyes shining with the reflection

of the tv screen

smiling widely

we stretch out on your bed

playing cards

looking at the ceiling

my toes sandwiched between

your calves and your comforter

keeping them from turning into

icicles

i look at you and think

how good we are together

one endlessly supporting the other

one moment discussing the pros and cons

of pockets

the next talking through how you felt

when your mother left

when she broke up with you because of it

the summer after when you felt so lost

i look at you and think

i could get so used to this

i'm too used this

you look at me and say that i

am the only one you can imagine

living with

but i know you mean in two

different beds

separated

by cheap carpet

a hallway

and two shut doors

when you say you can't believe how

lucky you are

to have a friend like me

i look at your wide

bright smile

so deliriously happy with the

reality of your presence in my life

and desperately missing

everything i've

never had