Have you ever wanted to go to a town that doesn't exist, but stubbornly refuses to accept it?

An entire state, in fact. Think about it. What if-and this the biggest IF of all ifs-there was a small state in America, sitting somewhere in between the realm of the impossible and the land of the dead, where the rules didn't apply and normality was a second-class citizen? What if that place was the maddest, craziest, most nonsensical patch of world on this greeny-blue planet?

What would you do if you accidentally drove into Godawful? (For it's indeed Godawful I'm talking about, that beautiful insane gamechanger of an unofficial state that shouldn't even exist.) Would you recognise it, that oasis of manaical ruckus, where the people live on after they die, and everyone gets exactly what they deserve? Where everything is just so damn funny! Honestly, the world will end when Godawful takes itself seriously. Everything has a bright side; in fact, a lot of stuff is nothing but bright sides.

Would you get out of the safety of your car, and take a look around? Could you handle it? It takes some getting used to, does Godawful.

But if the world's gotten you down, and you're sick and tired of deep, meaningful DEPRESSING stories, then you might just stay. It might be very tempting.

And, after a time, you'll come to Pinkwater, because Pinkwater is where everyone comes to eventually. Pinkwater is like the best playlist in the world. It has love and laughter. It's addictive. You never get tired of it. Some parts get dark. But the sun keeps spinning, the planets keep turning, and it gets light again.

Now, wouldn't you like to visit a town like that?

Of course, the answer might be No! Pinkwater and all of its counterparts in Godawful are the places where I go when I'm tired of reading sad things, filled with injustice and oh god the ice is melting oh god on and on ad nauseum. The place where you go for a bit of escapism is most likely very different, yes?

But, if Pinkwater sounds good, why don't come along?

You will?


So, without any delay, allow me to introduce you to the Chronicles of Pinkwater, or, Accounts of Everything and Anything that Happened Whenever. These Chronicles tell all the stories that ever unfolded in Pinkwater, and even a few from neighbouring towns, such as Shoeless, Lollipop and Undrinkable. And the story we're going to start with is a tale with a difference. It's an odd tale, to be sure; quite dark at first, but, of course, nothing stays dark forever. And neither will this story.

Come with me. Take the book from the shelf. Blow off its dust. Unstick the covers. Then, dive right into the Chronicle of Jeremy Dolner, the Lethal Loner...