l Don't Love You
When you go would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you like I loved you yesterday"?
I don't love you like I loved you yesterday
I don't love you like I loved you yesterday
-By My Chemical Romance
The sound of the television was deafening .
The pitch black darkness of the apartment , the smell and sound of rain surrounded her , she ignored it all .
The front door swung back and front .
The harsh wind blew into the cold apartment as the girl shivered , she was all alone .
She turned her head towards the front door and her hand reached out .
Her voice was soft as she whispered " I love you ."
In her brain she counted to hundred hoping and praying he would turn around . She was hopelessly in love with him but his actions leave her with nothing but confusion and pain . His shadow slipped away to the middle of the night as she screamed , a strangled voice that resound throughout the pitch black apartment .
She tried to stop him with her pleading , it went in vain .
Her fingers were cold as she searched through the alleyway, the men looked at her with weird perception .
She ignored them , they were nothing but people who were lost .
These people lost their will to live as a human being and allowed the pleasure of the drug to swallow them .
Lost in the smoke of haze that had created the world they craved .
He was one of them hidden by the murky water and the heavy smoke that surround him .
She believed that saving him was possible so she struggled .
In this mass of nothing but pure poison and darkness she crawled her way into this muddy world as tears stream down her face . She remember their promise his sweet promise and the purest of love he had felt for her . He had love her day after day and in the naïve mindset of her she believed in his words . Sweet words that touch her to the core like black ink spreading on a white canvas . It had touched the core of her being . There were no turning back because of those three words that he had said .
' I love you '
She couldn't find him .
She couldn't even catch a glimpse of him .
Her mangled and sorrowful scream wasn't able to reach him .
On the pale ceiling hang a turning fan , it continued to spin as voices was heard from both her left and right . Her parents that had raised her , loved her and abandoned her was standing there in flesh . She ignored them for they were saying something that she could not process .
The nurses rushed in asking her parents to lower down their voices .
Her mother cried holding her hand begging her to wake up from this insanity .
What insanity ?
What was this woman talking about ?
She shook off the hand of her mother and pulled the cover over her heads . The bright light and loud voices was making her head spin so she started screaming about nothing , anything and everything . She hated the bright light it made her remember the time before he met him .She doesn't want that for she must remember him and his world . The world that she can no longer escape from .
These people who does not understand can leave .
They don't understand the love between him and her .
She held the money , those precious dollar as she saw him and another man .
She wanted to smile but knowing that her broken smile was not a pleasant sight so she shut her mouth .
Her hand reached out for him but his eyes does not show a reflection .
His blue eyes reflect upon the drug dangling in front of him by a men dressed in black .
She wanted to cringe for the man remind her of a grim reaper ready to take him away from her but she was too afraid to said anything . All she could do was watch the man she love begging for the drugs like a three-year old begging for candy . His bruised hand reached for those drugs as his mouth watered at the sight .
She stood frozen .
As the grim reaper squinted eyes fell on her , the grim reaper glanced at her from head to toe .
The grim reaper turned to the man she loved and whispered something to him , for a split second a look of doubt crossed his feature .
When the drugs was once again dangling in front of him he nodded .
What was this feeling ?
The sinking feeling in her heart ?
This hopeless feeling that leave her speechless ?
The grim reaper walked towards her as she back away she saw the man she love whisper one word to her that broke her from side to side and piece to piece .
' Please do it for me '
She pushed the grim reaper aside and walked towards the man she love holding his face she asked .
You love me right ?
You love me right ?
You love me right ?
He looked at her for a split second took the money in her hands and ran to the road filled with twinkling light .
He disappeared once again leaving her with death .
The death in the hands of the grim reaper , was she suppose to feel despair ?
She heard foot steps but her nerve remain paralyze she felt the cold air hit her skin .
The sound of tearing fabric was heard .
Her brain finally understood what was going on it clicked like a switch finally turned on .
Although her heart stay cold and untouchable .
She stood in front of the bathroom mirror .
Her bleached blonde hair reached her waist line , the black mascara and her blood-red lip .
These traits were so foreign to her . Who is that person ?
She could hear the police man who had saved her bang on the door . He was a good man who saved her from facing a scene worse than death , he even brought her to his humble house and tried to feed her . His sweet caring parents received her with sympathy in their eyes and comforting smiles .
This was a world that she was in before she met him .
A world she got bored with , the excitement and the thrill had lured her into his world . That dangerous world filled with mystery and secrets of untold . She hated monotone and she loved the danger is posses , the edge of risk brought her to a whole new level of life . She choose to turn her back against all that the bright world had offered .
All because of one word .
An emotion that leave you senseless much more deadly than anything in this world .
How could she be this senseless ?
How could she be this selfish ?
How could she be this cruel ?
Leaving all those who loved her behind she walked a path that had hurt herself and all those around her . She wanted to scream and cry , trash around . She wanted to jump off a building and escape from this grasping guilt that filled her with bitter and pain . She wanted to run away to a place where she could forget and be punished for her crimes.
A voice was heard .
' Live on '
Who did it belong to she wondered .
' You can cry '
Who was still being so kind to her she wondered .
A knock was heard .
Her heart finally understood and the ice melted away leaving droplets of water that take time to cleared .
She smiled .
A broke smile .
It wasn't perfect .
It was sad .
Finally , she smiled and does not feel ashamed .
She took a pair of scissors but that smile didn't flatter.
Prison was a dark and cold place .
A girl dressed in a simple sleeveless button up blue dress that reached her knees with a brown belt around her waist sat on a wooden chair at the visiting corner .
She had black hair that reached her shoulder .
Her smile was small but sweet and on her left hand , fourth finger a silver band laid .
It glittered when the sunlight hit it .
The cop in charge asked a few question and she answered with ease, her smile never flatter .
A man walked in and sat across the girl .
His eyes light up with recognition and amazement .
He avoided eye contact with the smiling girl in front of him .
The silence was calming .
The girl asked simple pleasant question knowing his addiction is completely healed but cancer had found him .
She wished him well and before she was about to stand up he spoke up .
' I am sorry for everything '
'You are forgiven '
She had said with no malice in her voice just a tint of smile at the corner of her mouth .
The police ushered her to the door as a question crossed her mind .
She stopped walking and turned around determination shines in those depth of ocean blue eyes .
' Did you love me or should I ask have you ever loved me ? '
He looked startled at her question as emotions flash across his face and it finally settled into peace .
He said nothing and asked the cop to allow him to go back to the cell .
The girl heaved a sigh but smiled for she believes this question both he and her would have the same answer .
At the same time the same line crossed both his and her mind .
I don't love you , like I did yesterday .
The Song I don't love you belong to the band My Chemical Romance it's one of my greatest friend favorite song . My chemical Romance might have been disbanded but their legacy and songs will forever remain in everyone's heart and soul .
This is my first one-shot tell me what you think , did I capture the emotion and meaning of the song properly ? [x