POV: John, the first
Date: June 30, 1991
Time: 11:20 AM

"You have been given a gift. But with this gift you must hide your true name. You must become anonymous. Your new name is John Smith, and never shall anyone know your true name."

I look to the deck of cards in my hand. Why the hell did I bring these? Oh, that's right… when I went to bed, I put the deck on the table beside my bed. Then this giant hand reached down and grabbed me. I tried to grab onto something out of desperation, but a deck of cards doesn't hold you down very well. Well fuck.

"The tool you carry with you shall be your guide. Use it wisely. And remember, no one else can use it's power."

Well double-fuck. Why'd it have to be this deck of cards? It's got fifty-seven cards in it. The normal nine numbers, a jack, a queen, a king, and an ace for each of four suits. It also has two jokers, but most decks have that. The difference is this one has two weird bird cards as well, one red and another black… and then there's the instruction card.

"Used properly, this tool can predict the future. It will show you all the wondrous things around you, and all the people you will meet."

Marvelous. How the fuck do I use it? Is there one card for each person? You do realize that there are more than fifty-seven people on the planet, right? There's like… six billion. …Am I supposed to change that? I don't want to kill anyone, and my wife is all about abstinence. I can't make the population go up or down.

"Learn to use them to predict the future, for you are not alone. The world as you know it has changed. It is now filled with strangers like you. Among the peoples, they will stand out. Among them, you will stand out. You are to be a voice of reason amongst their chaos. You have a name. You have a gift. Now this is your duty."

Oh, great. I knew this was too good to be true. There's always a catch. To go along with this awesome new job whacking weirdos' heads together and my stunningly useful prediction card deck and my irresistibly simple name, I have this mysterious duty. The whole thing is ruined for me now. No, wait, all that other stuff sucks too.

"This world is soon to be destroyed by the demons of the underworld. You must not let that happen. You are our champion, the hero of life, and he who would quell the tempest to come."

Well… triple-fuck.


I woke up with something on my face. It's one of the cards from the deck… it all must have been a dream. I grab it and look at it, seeing that it's the ace of diamonds. Ugh, I hate that suit. Spades looks cooler, hearts makes me feel better, and clubs… clubs is okay, I guess.

Why did I let that distract me? Anyway, now I find myself in a dingy hotel room. There's nothing to eat or drink, mostly because I'm too lazy to buy anything, but also because the water for the sink is turned off due to some pipe damage or something. The water was brown yesterday, so I really don't feel like complaining.

Continuing on that train of thought, this hotel room sucks really bad. There isn't even a blanket for the bed, pillows for the chair, towels in the washroom, or a remote or even buttons for the damn TV which is probably from the fifties. That's right, I can't turn the TV on at all. Who even designed this piece of shit?

Despite previously stating that there was nothing to eat, I check the mini-fridge. There is a bottle of beer, or at least that's what it says it is, but I didn't put it there and I don't drink anyways. So I close the fridge and look out the window. There are no curtains. What? Did you expect curtains?

The high note of the day to come? I'm in Vegas. There's a pretty big circus in town too. It's Vegas, so you'd kinda expect there to be something like a circus going on somewhere, but this one is special. It is supposed to involve magic tricks that can't be explained by even the greatest magicians. This is why I'm here. I am the world's greatest magician.

My name is… John Smith… My name is John Smith. Okay…

Low note of the day, so far anyway, is now I have to pick up all those damn cards. I must have thrown a fit in my sleep, cause they're all over the room. The two of clubs is on the TV, six of spades landed in the trash can, and the three of hearts got stuck in the frame on the wall… a picture of a tiger. Worst of all was the four of spades, which I found in the fridge… under the beer bottle.

Having rounded up all the other cards scattered haphazardly around the hotel room, I go to put them back in their box. I check over them one more time to make sure I'm not missing anything and then I realize the instruction card is gone. Shit… you know what? Fuck the instruction card.

I shove the deck in my pocket and begin to pack the rest of my stuff. I didn't really bring much… yeah, I guess I'm done packing. With that, I head out the door. I'm wearing my black suit and tie and my small round sunglasses. I just look like a traveling working man to anyone I pass on the street. All my tricks are done with that deck of cards. I have nothing else.

Las Vegas isn't really the biggest city in the world. As a matter of fact, only one city holds that title… that… sounded really stupid. Either way, it's still easy to get lost in Las Vegas, especially if you aren't familiar with the territory. I'm not spectacularly familiar with it, but I know that places I need to go.

First, and really the only stop, is that circus. I hate these things. Circuses, carnivals, fairs, and even parades. I hate these things partially because I just hate people, but also because of the fundamentals of being a magician. The first and most important thing you need to know is that magic just isn't real. Trust me, I wish it were, but if I got everything I wished for… I'd be God, I guess. I would definitely abuse that ability.

People believe in a lot of things, and all of it disgusts me. My world is very dull and normal, but I like it that way. I don't want to do things that shouldn't be possible. I don't want to see creatures that shouldn't exist. I don't believe in ghosts, aliens, Santa Claus, or any of that other crap. I just want people to shut up and leave me alone about it.

That's why I do what I do. If I find something that people believe in, I do my best to explain it. After five years of this business, two things have become apparent. First, a lot of people believe in a lot of things, and second, they are all easy to explain. Of course, there are setbacks. There's quite a few people who really don't want to stop believing in whatever it is they believe in, and unfortunately, I can't show them anything. Not because their belief prevents it, but because they tend to avoid letting me know about it.

That brings me to my only failure. There is one person who believes so strongly and has studied what she believes so thoroughly that I can't seem to find a way to convince her. Her name is Mary Harddigan, and she is my wife. She's not the only Christian in the world by a long shot, but she's the only one I've met who seems to take God seriously enough to challenge me about him. All the others claim it's "not worth their time to try and convince me of his power". I love her because she's my only equal, and I married her because I love her. She married me so she could hound me.

The reason I bring all this up is to distract you from the boring walk. Really, nothing happened at all. Anyway, when I arrived at the circus location I was greeted by what I consider to be the most terrifying and bothersome of creatures that are so unfortunately real. Clowns. I've been considering moving somewhere where there are none, seriously. Like… south-west Detroit. That should be a good place to hide from them.

One such bozo, probably actually a forty-something year old wife beater, with a particularly obnoxious wig and an obscenely red nose, saw fit to stick his quite displeasing face into my own personal space. The painted retard let a predictably annoying question ooze out of his face. By ooze, I mean he screamed in my face.

"Why so solemn, sourpuss? Shouldn't you be smiling? You are at a circus, after all!"

I show no emotion. Clowns don't deserve emotion. "I'm a magician. This is supposed to be where magicians can be found, right? Get your demented face away from me or I'll make your testicles disappear with the wave of my foot."

Thankfully, the clown frolicked away with his sickening smile intact, probably finding some children to terrorize. I didn't want unnecessary attention just yet, so it's good that no one heard me and he didn't make a deal over it.

"Excuse me, do you need help?"

I turned around to see a young show girl wearing a fancy shirt, a bow tie, and a top hat. She had something covering the important-to-cover parts under the bottom of her shirt, but her legs were bare. These girls are the one part of circuses that I enjoy. Give me a break, I'm only human.

I couldn't help but be more pleasant with someone like this, seeing as she most likely only works here because it pays well and most of the people who watch what she does only do it because they're imagining the rest of her bare. So, I smile. "Yes, I am looking to talk with the manager or owner of this… establishment. Could you direct me to the proper tent?"

She smiled back, hinting in her smile that she had seen how I reacted to the clown. She had probably expected the same sort of treatment. I was glad that she was now reassessing what type of person I am, most likely deciding I just didn't like clowns. She grabbed my hand and pointed to a smaller tent near the back of the circus grounds.

"Come! I'll show you to it."