1A/N: Another true story, inspired by a former friend. More at the end.
Hate.
Hate.
Hate.
That was my mantra
When anyone asked me about you
I hate him
I'd say
He was terrible to me.
Made me think we were friends
Then tore my down
Cracking my heart in the process
You were public enemy number one in my book
I didn't think that would ever change.
I fell into bed one night.
Exhausted after a hard game of softball
(We won 8-4)
I passed out almost immediately.
That's when my dream
More like my nightmare
Started.
I woke up.
In my nightmare of course.
Moaning about how I hate Mondays.
I stumble out to the living room
Where my mother is watching the news
It's the saddest thing she says
What?
A boy was killed in a car accident.
He was fourteen.
That's awful I remember saying
That's when I look at the TV.
The name...
It's his.
My heart drops like a stone
Dread pooling in my stomach
Like wet cement.
I... I know him
I whisper faintly
My voice.. It sounds broken
I am broken.
I'm too numb to even cry.
My mom gets up
Hugs me
Tells me how sorry she is
Asks if we were close
I don't answer.
No need telling her that I used to hate him more than anyone else
Wait.
Used to?
I go back to my bed.
There's no way I can go to school today.
It is then
And only then
That I let my tears fall
Tears of sorrow
Tears of loss
Tears of a broken spirit
I never got to tell him
That I was sorry
He was mean to me, yes.
But more often then not, I was mean right back.
I never completely hated him.
I didn't love him by any stretch
But there was a time
A lifetime ago
That we were friends.
Good friends.
The realization sinks in.
I will never be able to tell him this.
I don't go to the funeral.
We had fallen apart too long ago.
I met his mom once. Never his dad.
My friends know that something's wrong.
I never tell them.
No reason to burden them with my problems.
I snap awake.
My pillow is wet.
I wonder why
But that's when I remember.
What happened.
My breath hitches.
Was it a dream?
Or is this my new reality?
I wander to the living room.
Mom is watching the news.
Carefully
Without giving anything away
I ask her
Were there any car accidents?
Nooo she says
Why are you asking?
I could jump for joy
It was all a dream
A sick, twisted dream.
I dress for school with one thing on my mind.
Apologizing.
For everything I have ever done.
I haven't seen you in ages.
You don't ride my bus anymore
And we go to separate schools.
But the first day of high school
I know what I am going to do.
Hate shouldn't rule my life.
Love should be at the front of our lives.
I'm not saying I love you.
Not by any stretch.
But maybe we can get back to the way we were.
One thing is for sure.
I will never be the same again.
A/N #2: I really did have this dream. I used to have a 'top five people I never wanted to see again' list, and he was at #1. I finally realized how stupid and little of me it is to hate him for something he did two years ago. I fully plan on making this wrong a right the next time I see him.