A/N: Here's my pain for you guys to read again. R/R! If you review this, I'll review one of your stories in return.


'What hurts the most, was being so close, and watching you walk away. And having so much to say.'

'Loser!'
'I hate you! I never want to talk to you again!'
That one word shattered me.
I snapped back in the heat of the moment.
I didn't mean it.
I could never mean it.
You were my friend.
Were.

I held it together until I got home.
Then, and only then, did my tears fall.
Tears of bitterness, tears of loss, tears of regret.
How was I supposed to know that this would hurt so much?
It feels like I'm being stabbed repeatedly in the heart.
My stomach feels like it is filled with lead.

All of the memories shared.
Lighthearted teasing.
Discussing basketball.
Just shooting the breeze for an hour every day.
All gone.
In one moment of anger.

I told everyone that I hated you from then on.
It was so much easier than explaining what really happened.
Whenever we talked after that day, it was mean.
Biting, acidic arrows of pain directed at each other.
I just shut my heart down for that hour each day.
Pushed out the memories and dealt the pain right back.

A year has gone by.
A year where we haven't talked.
A year where I've barely even seen you.
I kept up my hate fa├žade. Everyone believed me.
I had a dream one night.
You had gotten in a car accident and died.

I was shocked at the emotion that overcame me.
I had almost convinced myself that I didn't care about you anymore.
Waking up with a soaked pillowcase is proof that I still do.
I swore to myself then and there that I would apologize for what I said.
Our friendship is worth so much more than a words exchanged in anger.
I hope you feel the same way.