1What do you like from me?
When someone confesses their love to you, what will you do?
Well, what is it exactly that you will do? I have rather three reactions in mind from observing people and I will share it to you lovely people. Since I make this essay for girl readers (it's girl that's been confessed to by the boys), the explanation of the third reaction will mostly incoherent to boy readers.
Whether he is your crush or just plainly who-knows people, usually you will just accept it. Yes, and why? It's an opportunity that doesn't come very often. Seriously, who can guarantee whether the next day or next week, or perhaps… another time someone will ask you out again? If you're really that popular, you can hang on to that but whom-or what will guarantee you plain people? (No offense, I am considered as plain people myself)
With going out, you can feel new things such as what is it feel like to date, holding hands, having man beside you to protect you, be hugged, kissed, someone to text to when you're bored, imagining fun things that never crossed your mind before… (suggestive theme, hmm) Just to feel your plain day into something more exciting. Popular people usually have playful manner that they will accept any opportunities come to them, so… most of them, I believe, will accept the confession and starts going out. Only, it is natural for this kind of relations to be unsuccessful—at least most of it—because they based their relationship in thin foundation: 'desire to date' or in other words, they just want to date and no more. It is rare for people who date this way to deepen their relationship in background or interest intentionally.
The second reaction, you've probably used to it, is the contrary of the first. You refuse—or rather do not answer it yet. Why? Who knows? Maybe they just do not like the confessant, or there's bad rumor about him that makes you back off, or you haven't ready to be bound in a commitment yet, or perhaps you have personal issues to be worried about such as inharmonic family, economically poor, parents restriction, and lack of confident. You couldn't imagine what kind of date you will have or whether he will accept you the way you are, no matter how poor or boring you are. This kind of thought is really come into consideration in your mind. Most of us do it, well… I do. And the final answer is of course, "I'm sorry, I couldn't go out with you." That's to put it simply. Of course not so many people dare enough to answer. Most of them just avoid that person, hoping to never meet him again, or hoping for him to forget about this matter.
Or perhaps, there is this case that you haven't answer yet because you didn't know this person or maybe he is your best friend or he is your brother or sister's best friends or whatever that makes it hard to answer directly, especially when the answer is bound to be 'no'. Well, you simply ask for time and after knowing him better… or after many considerations, finally your answer is 'yes'. Well… I categorize this kind of reaction into the second one (because you ask for time).
And so… what is the third reaction? Okay, not so many people do it but it is really a good reaction despite the final definite answer itself. You ask him the reason he falls for you. That's it. Of course, the answer that he gives you might help you to decide whether to accept or refuse him.
"What is it that you like from me?"
The best answer is: "Anything about you."
I know, it's kind of lame, short, or… yes, makes you unsatisfied. You consider this kind of answer as inappropriate, shows how unserious this person is, and probably you will reject him flatly just because woman is so complicatedly have complex mind and have desire to be cherished. You will want to know the specific reason, you demand it. That's why if their answer is really specific you'll be really happy. But let me reason with you. Generally men's mind is so simple in this kind of things and so the answer that he gives you is the real answer of why he likes you, no matter how simple it is. 'Anything about you' is the best answer and why is that? Please! He just tells you that he cares about you without any consideration! What else do you want? Also, if you show him how bad you are, he probably still chasing you around. 'Anything about you' is more than enough for you and him.
I've told you about men simple mind right? So… if he tells you specific answer that coincidently you want to hear, it's probably the real thing that he sees in you, and that's just it. Wanna know the examples? (I add my bad response too.)
"I love you because you're pretty."
"You're beautiful."
"You're clever."
If you're not pretty, beautiful, and clever anymore, I bet he will leave you for the better one—if that's what he really sees in you, honestly.
"I love your blue eyes and that long hair that you have… the way it sway around, it's beautiful. Your voice is so-" bla-bla-blah… He's exaggerating. No doubt, he's a player if not so poetic.
"It's so fascinating to see you play piano and your hand is so beautiful." Pfft… then just marry my hand instead!
Aren't that bad that he (especially if it is your crush) only sees that part of yours? It is more disappointing if what he sees in you is your physic only and I dare say if you fall for him because of those reasons, you're pathetic (No offense). It is better if he likes you because of your character. It is more… flattering and everlasting, in my case. The examples? Well… here they are:
"I love it when you laugh at my joke."
"I love it when you smile to me because I can't think of anything else…"
Pfft… but it's flattering. Honest.
"I love how you care for me."
It's make the men sound pathetic but he's so brave to confess it to you directly. If I am you I'll consider it despite I really care or it is just his imagination (tee hee)
"You look like you don't care about others but one day I see you help child down there and somehow I-" bla-bla-bla… You know it. It's about his fascination of you. It's flattering, and his initial assumption of you just makes it cuter. I'll definitely accept him if I am ever in that kind of situation.
There are also these attempts that are really lame:
"Because I can't live without your very presence in my life."
Pfft… what does he think you are? His medicine? Personal doll? It's a cheap flirt; you should not fall for it. Even if he really is serious about it, you should avoid it. It's creepy… Beside it doesn't answer the question.
"I am longing for your touch." Creep.
"You are an angel that God send for me." Cheap flirt. How does he know?
Sometimes, you will find that you catch their guard off when you ask them that question. They might suddenly stutter for the lack of answer. For me, it indicated that he never thinks serious of you; he pushes his luck.
If he asks you out through love letter, well… it's just means that he is coward enough to face you. You might want to skip that out because coward man cannot be relied upon anything. If you really curious about him because of the art of writing he used or because of his description of you in the letter, you could ask him to meet you. What if he is a secret admire? Nah… it is really sweet to have one and you probably will not skip that out. If you really want to know him, you just have to throw your hint and see if anyone catches that and brave enough to meet up with you. Then you ask him that question because the spontaneous answer is more powerful and pure than those in writings.
I myself really like the third option because it shows that you are wise enough before you answer their feeling for you, no matter if you really like him or just grab the opportunities. But not all the men in this world that innocence, some has learn tricks to win women hearts even. But this essay doesn't provide you with the way to differentiate real and tricks answer because the objective is only to provide you three reactions in which I focus myself on the third one. My advice is you have to feel it and find out his background to find out the honesty of his confession.
A/N—sorry for my bad English and unstructured essay. This attempt of writing essay has been fun. Review is welcomed for an eye-opener (?) for me, about whether you agree or not and if you think there is other reaction beside those three, also for the structure itself and my choice of words. Thank you for reading. Do you find this essay helpful?
© Regina Rein, 2013