One evening, I was out for a jog at the park when a hooded white guy came up to me and pulled out a switch blade.

"Okay, hand me the dough you gook or I'll cut yo motherfucka face!" he said.

At first I was frightened, but then I said, "What?"

"You hear me, give me the dough 'cuz I have good vibrations!"


Then suddenly, he starts break dancing like a member of the funky bunch and said, "You better hand over the dough, I blinded a gook back in the day to show how badass I am and that I'm not like my faggot ass brother who hung with a boyband back in the 1980s!"

This is got to be one of the worse mugging ever, is he even trying? I know who he is now and I guess he really did lost his good vibrations. But then again, you have to admit, starring in a movie about a talking teddy bear can do that to anyone's credibility, especially when the bear sounded like Peter Griffin.

I was ready to leave when his friends came and surrounded me.

"What gives?" I yelled.

The mugger gave a smug grin and said, "Hand over the dough and I'll let you off!"

"What if I don't?" I asked.

"Then my homies will force you to watch my movies!" he answered.

After that, I quickly handed over my wallet without further questions...