Dear Journal

Jan 31

Dear Journal

Getting out of bed was a chore it just seems like same sh*t different day.

I look over at my wife still sleeping in the bed and I don't feel what I think I should feel.

Don't get me wrong I love my wife but I can't say that it is real love, there's no passion when it comes to sex. Sex seems more like a chore for me than… well I don't know it should be passionate, wild, unbridled anything but what I feel or shall I say don't feel now.

Will I ever have that?

Tomorrow will probably be the same!

Feb 3

Dear Journal

Well like always another uneventful day, well for the most part I was having lunch and out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of someone but when I turn to look he was gone the impression I got was he was very handsome even though I did not get a clear view of him

I guess my wife is expecting sex tonight; I'll do my best to a least make her feel good

Feb 4th

Dear Journal

The man I saw just briefly out of the corner of my eye yesterday, I saw him again, and he is very good looking. I'm surprise at myself for feeling interested in this man my heart even skipped a beat when he said excuse me to get out of the elevator, and when his shoulder brushed against mine as he passed I breath in sharply as a shiver went down my spine, I think he heard me cause a smile appeared on his lips. Just thinking about it now and I'm blushing

Feb 6th

Dear journal

That man today sat across the dinning hall from me at lunch; he was staring at me even though I had my eyes looking down at my food I could feel him looking at me. It made my breath quicken and something inside me is stirring

Feb 7th

Dear journal

My wife had asked me what had gotten into me last night. Apparently I satisfied her quite well even though I felt the same as every other time.

I didn't see the man today … those electric blue eyes, the golden brown hair, the chiseled face with luscious lips and what looks like a hard body under that well fitted suit. Why do I feel excited and anxious to see him again? I guess, no, I hope I'll see him to Monday at work

Feb 10th

Dear journal

He literally had me cornered; the elevator was full to capacity and I was pushed to into the corner. I felt someone pressed against me and so I turned to see if I could get a little more room. And there he was eye to eye we stood, well almost he had at least 3 inches on me and I'm 5'10". I was dumb struck all I could do was star at those beautiful eyes, I couldn't say a word even when I felt his hand stroke my leg, I just blushed with heat rising not only in my face but my pants too. He smiled at me than left me in the elevator, very much high and dry to my embarrassment I had to uncomfortably make my way to the bathroom keeping my jacket in front of me

To do "THAT" at work how could I show my face in my office without turning red; thinking and hope no one heard or at least knew it was me!

Feb 11, AM

Dear journal

I royally F**ked my wife last night, just the thought of that man is pushing me to my limits.

My wife is sleeping in today, me I can't wait to get to work!

Feb 11, PM

He was there again, this time only a couple of tables away from me. I couldn't help but stare back at him; I barely ate any of my lunch, I just wanted to look at him. When lunch was over he walked to my table leaning over the table long enough to pass his business card face down. Written on the back of it read "meet me Friday outside the front doors", the name on the card was John Bishop sales, my heart pounded even now I feel my heart racing at what he wants to meet me for.

Feb 13

Dear journal

I didn't see him yesterday or today my anxiety is thorough the roof, my wife has notice how ancy I have been these past couple of days. I told her it had to do with work. I don't think she was complaining though considering how well and thoroughly ****ed she's been this week. I'm sure she is quite satisfied but for me it was just an outlet for my frustrations. I'm sorry Mary I wish it was the same for me as it was for you

Feb 14th, AM

Today is the day, I'm wearing my best suit, black with a teal dress shirt and a two tone teal tie. My wife asked why I was dressed so nicely, I just told her I had a business meeting and wasn't sure when it would end. I guess it wasn't a total lie, I feel a little guilty lying, but I'm looking forward to what John wants to meet me about.

Well time to go to work

The day started out normal enough, I got on the elevator crowded as usual.

I don't know how, it's not like john is easy to miss , but he was right behind me so close in fact that I could feel the heat from his body through my suit. He leaned in close to my ear and asked "are you going to meet me after work tonight?"his hand was resting on my hip under my suit jacket, his voice was smooth and what can be describes as strong and sensual, it caused a shiver go down my spine and goose bumps raised on what felt like my entire body.

I could feel him smiling as my body reacted to him, my voice cracked as I responded "YEeSs" cugh cugh, clearing my throat "Yes, I will be there at the time indicated." I didn't want any one getting the wrong impression of what our conversation was about. He squeezed my hip before letting go and stepping out of the elevator looking back he smiled and said "see you then" with a sparkle in his eyes.

I could still feel the heat from his hand on my hip and the smile, THAT smile on his face had me wanting to release myself, but I managed to control myself; this is going to be a long day!

JOHN was never far from my thoughts, every minute made me more anxious than the one before. At lunch he sat with me at my table, not saying a word just looking at me with that sparkle in his eyes and that flirtatious smile on his lips. I'm kind of curious though why I feel so attracted to this man and very nervous. When lunch was over he walked around the backside of my chair placing a hand on my shoulder, his thumb caressed my neck. {Oh god, this man was intent on driving me insane!} Bending down to the side of my head he said in a soft low voice "see you later" then he was gone. The day dragged on as I watched the clock, the minute hand counting the minutes till 5:o'clock.

I had no idea what was going to happen this evening, but I couldn't wait. Tick tock tick tock I could hear the second hand move even with all the noise in the office.

"TRENT!", jumping to attention, Travis said not quite yelling, called me out of my stupor, "you want to go out for a drink?" in a slightly less voluminous voice. "Maybe another time" I said still conscious of the ticking sound in my head "I already have an appointment".

Being curious I wonder if Travis has heard of, or knew John "Travis, do you know a John, John Bishop?" He scratches his head in thought for a few moments, "yeah, he is in the sales department on the 13th floor, What about him?"

"nothing, I just recently met him I was just wondering."

"He seems like a nice guy, haven't heard anything bad about him." Travis said uninterested

"See you next week, Travis"

I looked at the clock and a sigh of relief escaped my lips, talking with Travis has taken the rest of the time; I quickly gathered my things and close down my computer. Taking a few deep breathes I started off to go down to the front of the building to meet up with john. When I got there he wasn't outside yet, standing there intently watching the front door for him to come out when from behind my ear John said "Ready to go?"

I about jumped out of my skin as I twisted to see him behind me "How do you do that?" I asked breathing heavily.

"A gift" he said with a teasing smile on his lips

"Ready?" his voice strong and deep.

We took his car to his house, he invited me in by placing a hand at the small of my back and ushered me through the door, removing his hand as he closed the door behind him. "Make yourself at home" he said as he coxed me to remove my suit jacket, hanging it on a hanger in the closet by the front door. He once again placed his hand at the small of my back sending shock waves down my spine, "let's go into the kitchen, I'll make some dinner." He walked around me sliding his hand across my lower back as he passed, then walked away from me. I followed him to the kitchen, which was spacious; in the middle of the kitchen was a large island with high bar stools on the side facing the cooking area. Taking a seat he placed a wine glass in front of me and made quick work at opening the bottle and pouring some into my glass. I sniffed at the wine and asked him with a puzzled look on my face "how do you know my name? I've never introduced myself."

Nonchalantly stated "I just asked around till I found someone who knew you."

As if I wasn't nervous enough, to be told he was asking around about me pushed me over the edge, downing the wine to help calm my nerves, the taste of the wine made my face scrunch up. Never did like the taste of wine, John seeing my glass empty proceeded to refill my cup, I downed that one as well. Feeling the alcohol, I told him I should call my wife and as I dialed the phone I froze with the realization that I was here for what reason I wasn't even sure of myself, shocked I stated "what am I going to tell her?"

As Mary answered the phone John had taken the phone from my hand, looked at the name and proceeded to say in a nonchalant but soothing voice "Mary, it is Mary right….. My name is John; I'm a colleague of Trent's … No he's fine, I'm just calling to let you know that we were working at my house and I managed to pour him one too many drinks, I don't think he is safe to drive home so he will be sleeping it off here if you don't mind….yes, I just didn't want you to worry…okay, I'll tell him…..goodnight…..bye"

Stunned I just looked at him, he handed me my phone back and said in the same voice "your wife said she will see you tomorrow and thanked me for keeping you" with that the tempo of his voice change as well as the look in his eyes, he turned away to finish making dinner.

I felt like I was on a date the only thing that was missing was the candle light and Marvin Gays' Sexual Healing playing in the back ground. I was nervous, confused and had no idea what to say. I began to smell the aroma of dinner whaff its' way across the kitchen, he was making spaghetti. "That smells good is there anything I can help with" I said hoping to break some of the tension.

"Sure you could take the salad out of the frig" pointing his head in the direction of the refrigerator. I move quickly to the frig opening it I found the salad already made in a large bowl on the bottom self. I took it to the table which I just realize was already set for dinner. Looking at the table I slowly adverted my eyes from it to his back "is there anything else"

"In the bread box is some French bread you can put that out, thank you" he said in a pleasing voice

I got the bread out of the bread box, found the basket to put it in on top of the box, at the same time as I had finished putting the bread in the basket John was done with the spaghetti. We both walked to the table finished setting it and sat down to eat.

He told me he has seen me around and took interest in me, beside being attrached to me physically, which made me blush, he tought that I looked lonely. Staring into my eyes I could see the concern he had for me.

I don't know why but I felt compeld to tell him how unfulfilled I felt in my marriage and in making love to my wife, that I felt something was missing. Even when I married wy wife the passion wasnt there, it all felt the same. I even went as far to tell him sheeplishly how I f**** my wife this past week only as a release for my pent up aggressions from his teasings and tauntings. Which he smiled mischieviously at the knowledge he had that effect on me, my heart began to thump loudly at the sight.

He got up from his chair and walked behind mine, placing his hands on my shoulders he leaned down and kissed my neck several times, sending shivers down my spine. I leaned my head back and to the side giving him complete access to the place my palse beet rapidly under the skin, waves and waves of excitement traveled down my spine. My eyes were closed taking in the new sensations that were warping through my body, I felt his lips on mine taking me by surprise. with his lips still attaches to mine he guided me out of my chair wrapping his arms around my waist pulling me close to him, so close I could feel his excitement and I was right behind him with my own. He pulled away from our kiss to look me in the eyes, I could see something in his eyes, desire, passion and lust.

He took my hand firmly but gently and was guiding me as he walked backward, keeping me hipnotized with his eyes he steered me to his bedroom. Still keepig me in his eyes he began to undress me, he pulled on the tie, when it was free of the knot he pulled it from its place around my neck letting it pile on the floor as he dropped it. Pecking my lips with a kiss, he began to unbutton my shirt one button at a time, all the while keeping me in his gaze. When he openned the last button his fingers came to rest on my stomach, then slowly crept up my adomun, up my chest flattening out his hands so that his palms are now touching me he slides his hands across to my shoulders taking the shirt off as he slid his hands down my arms, he kissed my shoulder as the shirt fell to the floor. Taking my hands in his he guided them to his shirt wordlessly telling me to undress him which I did in like mannor as he did mine, minus the kiss on the shoulder.

Kneeling before me he slides his hands down my legs to take off my shoes and sockes, bringing his hands back up to my waist he opens the button and zipper of my pants taking them off, holding one calf at a time as he slides my pants of my feet. Still kneeling in front of me his hands rest gently on my calves, gliding his hands up my legs, up the back side of my thighs he genglty places a kiss on my stomach. I closed my eyes obsorbing all the new sensual feelings that were flowing through my body, thinking this is what was missing, this is what I wanted to feel. Again his lips were on mine his tongue carassing my lips before dipping into my mouth in search of mine, his hands on my hips pushing me softly back one step, two steps the bed was at my knees. placing a hand on the small of my back he guided me onto the bed all the while kissing me softly, slowly almos maddening pace.

Breaking the kiss he stood to relinquish the rest of his clothes to the floor, his member standing at attention, hard and very well proportioned, I looked away turning red but excited. Returning to the bed he began to explore every inch of me accassionally I would feel his lips or tongue glide over some part of my body. laying next to me he slid his hand over my shoulder and down my arm to my hand, taking it in his he lifted it to his chest inviting me to explore him. Ever so softly, almost afaid to touch him I slid my finger tips over his chest, watching my hand as it moved. Lifting my fingers I move them to his lips touching them soflty, still watching my hand if it was some one elses. He raise his own hand to mine holding it to his face he kissed my palm, interlacing his fingers through the back of mine he pulled on it, pulling me to lay flat on my back. He followed me down and placed his lips on my chest pecking and licking down my stomach, his hands pull at my boxers I lifted my hips to allow him to slide my boxers over my backside. I felt his breath on my engorge member, his tongue slid up the shaft causing a moan to escape my lips. He licked me slowly and sensually up & down my shaft, flicking the crown just to have more moans of approval escape my lips. He took all of me into his mouth sucking leisurely as I panted, one hand grabbed for the sheets as the other found a handfull of golden brown hair going mad as every nerve in my body were on fire with pleasure.

With out thinking I moaned out "yes this is what was missing, and it takes this man to for me to feel it!" Realizing I said it outload, looking down at him my hand over my mouth and the color in my face darken to nice shade of crimson. He looked up at me, my memeber still in his mouth, looking at me i could see he was smiling at me with his eyes.

His hand went between my legs and I could feel his digits began to probe an area I though not so long ago off limits "Exit Only", but strangly enough it wasn't as bad as I thought, with john's mouth working the front and his fingers at the "rear" my breathing became labored I wanted to cum but he made sure that it didn't happen, not yet anyways.

He pulled himself back up to my face, kissing me more, this time it was hard with passion as his tongue darted in and around the inside of my mouth exploring every inch of it. as he was exploring my mouth with his, Ii felt presure against my ass, the next sound to come from my mouth was a loud gasp, he had entered me, it was uncomfortable, I could here him speak next my ear "are you ok?" My head press back into the bed I shake my head yes, eyes closed hands fisted full of bed sheets. He stayed there not moving kissing and nipping the under side of my chin and neck, occassionally sucking not hard enough to leave marks,at least I hope not.

His hips began to move slowly at first, rubbing his memeber in and out of my tight hole, I was panting with each stroke, my fist loosened and raised to his shoulders holding on to him like he was about to disappear. His hips kept the same pace as so not to strain or hurt me, my hips began to rock in time with his. if you were to describe the pace I would have to say it was like a canter of a horse; even and rythmic, tra-thump-tra-thump-tra-thump my excitement of it all was very apparent, as my member was weeping with anticipation of our climax. Having endure now a very long time at having my orgasm staved off I was ready, but I did not want to "cum" by myself I wanted John to cum with me. I took my hands from his shoulders and grab his ass gripping it tightly and increasing my hip movements. John taking the hint increased his pace, now slamming into me hard, shock waves of pleasure was now being released throughout my body. Surprising myself at the sounds that were leaving my mouth and too aroused to care, the heat that was swirling in my my stomach now an infirno between my legs, my cum splashed all over my stomach and chest. Just after my orgasm had rocked my body John had pulled out of me, letting his cum mixed with mine. We laid side by side panting, brushing our fingers lazily over the others arms. Basking in the after glow of our mine blowing orgasms my thoughts are pulled to my wife and the only thought that went through it was "I've never had this with her, this is what I wanted, what was missing."

As we laid side by side, we drifted off into a deep slumber with smiles on our faces.

Dear Journal

I've found my passion