The sorrow of unrequited love is deeper when the love can never be expressed for one reason or another.


Secret Desires

"Hey are you awake? If you are please answer..."

I sent that text to him and waited, hoping he would answer and come to my rescue. Minutes passed and I knew he had to be sound asleep in the living room of my house, comfortable and worry free, unlike me. I laid back in my bed, closing my eyes tight as I let the tears fall. That's when the door opened, there he stood. In the dark I couldn't see his face or expression but I knew it was him and he wanted to help as he always does. I rose and gave a little sniffle, telling him I had been crying without saying a word. He started in my direction, slowly.

"Hunter?" I asked but was silenced quickly with his mouth to mine. I blinked in confusion but he only wrapped his arms around me to keep me close. When he finally pulled away I looked at his face, barely able to make out the features of a face I knew so well.

"What are you-"

He silence me once again with a kiss and let this one linger a bit longer, letting out his warm breath on my mouth as he pulled away. "Let me... take care of you... this time."

Once again our lips met but this time I let myself melt into the heat of it. He gently moved on top of me and lowered me back down on my bed, pressing against me in the gentlest way. My hands began to move on their own, sliding into his dark hair and on the back of his neck. Just as my hands explored so did his, one resting on my cheek for a little while before sliding into the line of my hair, the other moved over my arm and then down on my side, rubbing gently up and down. Our lips moved together like the ocean on the shore, coming in to pull and take and leave but always coming back for another taste of what was so desired. I felt his chest press harder against mine as his kisses got deeper and filled with more wanting. His fingers pressed into my side, then moved under my night-shirt though staying on my side. He rubbed so slowly over the flesh there, occasionally teasing me with a graze of my hip or the side of my breast. I was lost in him, lost forever to the touch and feel of him, to the movement of his mouth, skillful and tender yet going further and further for more. Never had anyone made me feel this way, and I loved it, I was taking in every bit that I could, my desires feeding on him. Just as I thought I had sunk down to the depths of no return his mouth moved away from mine, he breathed hard against my deprived lips.

"Do you... want me... to stop?" he asked between breaths.

I could not form words in my dazed state so I only shook my head, looking into his eyes and pleading with him silently to continue, to never stop. He took me stronger then, his kisses feverish and sloppy in the wanting desire of the moment, his hands found new places to touch, and his body could only be closer to mine in one way. I would hold him as tightly as I could, hoping that he would never leave me or this moment, staying here without the passing of time. My fears began to leak from my eyes in salty drops and I felt him wipe them way, pulling away to peer at me in concern.

"Did I do something you didn't want?" he asked, stroking my cheek gently and with all the love he could offer in the darkness of my room.

Tears still fell however, I was completely helpless to stop them just as he was.

"You will disappear... when the sun comes up..."

I knew he smiled then even with the dark of my room. "I am here to be with you, I wouldn't leave you."

I shook my head. "You lie, just as you lie every time."

"Please," he begged, wiping the tears away as quickly as they fell. "I am here now, isn't that enough?"

"No..." I said though it sounded more like a whimper. I shook my head and closed my eyes tight, his soothing voice with kind and loving words becoming distant. When I opened my eyes again I was blinded by the light of the sun shining into my room. I gave a sigh, and got out of bed. When I left my room to go to the living room he was there, sitting up on the couch with a bowl of cereal. He looked at me for only a moment then returned his attention to his breakfast. I began to make my own breakfast when he finally spoke.

"You cried in your sleep again." he said, his voice without the concern or worry it held the first time he informed me of this fact.

I put my hand to my cheek and felt the familiar dry lines of tear marks. I could only sigh and continue to make my bowl of cereal.

"You know if you would actually tell me about your dream I might be able to help you." he said, irritated as always concerning this matter.

I shook my head. "I just can't... not now, not ever."