Then I look at the calendar

Clock of days

Judith playing in the background

Oh god, you abandoned me

I'm back in the room

The uncomfortable room of martyrs

Life dying in front of me

Life always dies

Your last gasps



Don't go

I'm back in front of my computer

Staring at the date

You'd be here if only

Time could stand still

Or cancer did not kill

Or you would have fought

Just a little harder

Is that what I believe?

But give me my anger

Give me my sadness

Let me feel

Your eyes are slits

Your last breaths



If I don't see, it's not real

I'm not here



Until they are gone