the name itself sounds pleasant,
safe in the confines of my apartment.
you are tall, with glasses,
sandy hair, a smile too big for your face.

i can't picture you perfectly -
i haven't seen you in two months, after all,
but the essence of you, the idea,
is still echoing in my head.

you are a piece of my courage,
part of the reason i managed to leave him
despite the fear & the guilt & the attachment.

i hope i never forget you. we may never
be close - may never see each other again,
now that you've moved and i'm leaving
long before you come back.
but you still matter, and god knows
i could use a pen pal, or at the ver least
a phone call.

your voice sends ripples of thrill
through my stomach, and once
i dreamt of kissing you,
but given the chance, i never would:

you're too important - too different.
"i like that we will never be we,"
a quote from one of my favorite poets,
and it's true, and i hope we stay friends -
derek, derek.