well, this is the last chapter. i hope it's been a good ride for you guys! thank you for all the reviews.

time jumps forward a bit more in this chapter. there is also a scene similar to the one in the previous chapter in the epilogue. it involves creating a headspace of dubcon, though i structured it in such a way that i hope becomes obvious that is just a scene for them and not an actual act against tyler's will. also, fun fact: tyler has two safe words. one for stop, and one for pause. just so there's no confusion on that point.

i also feel that i need some kind of disclaimer here: i am not involved in the bdsm scene. my representation is not necessarily standard. please do not use my writing as the end all be all reference for anything of the nature you might write yourself. (i never thought i had to put such a disclaimer but i was accused of misrepresenting asexuality despite being asexual myself. i don't know why people can understand that writing a story about two homosexuals is not indicative of the entire 'homosexual experience' but one story about asexuality is supposed to represent the entire spectrum. but that's how it goes, i suppose.)

so there you guys have it. thank you again for all the reviews and favorites, you guys make writing continuously worth it.

saturday, 19 july, 2014. 9.27pm.

"You sure we're heading the right way?"

I crinkled the instructions printed from the library computer, mentally retracing our route, and nodded.

"Yes. The turn is coming up."

True to word, the next intersection was our turn, and Aiden made a slight show about looking both ways just so he could make a face in my direction. Ass.

Just a few turns later and we finally saw the house appear out of the woods on our left. At two stories, it was modestly sized and fairly well-kept, considering the previous owners had moved out almost two years ago.

A car was already parked in the dirt drive, a woman in relaxed business attire exiting as soon as we turned in.

Tossing the instructions in the back seat, I exited Aid's car with a vague stretch, looking around the property as my lover made with the formalities that always bore me to tears. The house itself reminded me a bit of the place I grew up, and I turned and looked across the way, enjoying the view of fields of grass and far-off livestock.

Out of all the houses we've been to see already, this one spoke to me before we'd even seen inside.


I turned and saw them already up on the porch, Aiden waiting for me to amble my way up to join them, and I showed my gratitude in a brief, one-armed hug that had him elbowing me in the side. I retaliated with a sharp poke to the small of his back and he grumbled but let me keep the last word, my grin causing him to shoot me unspoken threats of death and mutilation.

Yeah, yeah.

It was completely bare inside, our steps echoing off the wood flooring laid down everywhere but the kitchen and upstairs bathroom. The bathrooms were woefully small, considering, and it wasn't until we saw the 'office' downstairs that Pudge showed any overall interest in the house above those we've already seen.

The office was small but adjoined by what appeared to be some kind of den or playroom; we looked at each other and nodded, already mentally knocking out walls to make this into the library to put the one at home to shame.

"What's the MSRP on a place like this?"

This had the real estate agent raising her eyebrows and I smiled to show I was joking, causing Pudge to roll his eyes.

"But seriously…what's the asking price? You said it was still in our range?"

She grinned; "The papers are in the kitchen, gentlemen. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised to see just how it fits into your budget."

As we left the office, I whispered into Pudge's ear, "If we get this one, I'm blowing you in every room with a spacer between my knees."

Unexpectedly, he reached back and grabbed at my crotch, surprising me into laughing and causing the agent to glance back at us, the quirk of her mouth amused even as I shot her a grin of innocence.

This woman was a true professional if there ever was one, I have to say, rarely looking askance at our antics and simply taking us in stride.

"You've decided to do what now?"

"We're buying a house."

Ken shared a look with Andi, and I rolled my eyes.

"We've been living together for years, asshole, buying a house is perfectly legit and domestic."

"…But Mom always talks like you'll get the house."

I snorted; "Please. You're the one with two kids, Kenny. It makes more sense for you to get the house. There's also Aid's job and I'll be graduating in the spring. My plans are to enter grad school. I've already got that job at the paper, and we're meeting with the real estate agent middle of next week to finalize, so there's no point trying to be like Mom and talk us out of it. We're not coming back here, Ken, no matter what you guys scheme up."

Before he could argue, Deidre wandered into the living room and lit up upon seeing us. Though she was getting to feel too old for extravagant displays of affection, she still came and sat between Pudge and I on the couch, pleased when I put my arm around her shoulders and he put his arm around mine, creating a squishy sandwich between the three of us.

We probably looked like some kind of mushy Hallmark card.

"What do you think, Deidre, should Uncle Aiden and I get a bigger house?"

She gave it real thought; "Will it have a pool?"

"Oh, you think we need a pool?"

I tickled her and she shrieked, squirming around until half in my lap and half in Aid's before I let her rest, her hair in wispy tendrils around her face.

"What about my own room?" she asked instead, and I grinned, tucking hair behind one of her ears.

"Sure, kiddo. Well, for you and Aidie to share when you visit, but you can have your own bed and everything. You can come stay with us during the summer. How's that sound?"

"I guess."

Pudge grabbed her knee and squeezed, sending her into another shrieking fit until she finally cried, "Yes, okay, yes, it sounds awesome!"

"Well, okay then."


Fingers against the back of my right knee pulled me from sleep, my awareness slow to return until the light grip turned harsh, almost threatening. I jerked, only to find that a spacer had been placed between my wrists and inserted around a slat in the headboard, effectively placing me belly down in my own bed.

A soft piece of stretchy material bound my eyes, my heart thumping from adrenalin once I realized there was nowhere I could go, though that didn't stop me from squirming around, trying. The hand on the back of my knee moved, becoming two hands on my calves, fingertips hard and unforgiving until I finally stopped moving. In reward for my apparent submission, the hands smoothed over muscle and bone, mapping my lower legs with smug ownership, making my cheeks flush with guilt for liking it.

A male chuckle filled the intimate space, mocking, and my cheeks burned darker.

I was unprepared for the hands to abruptly tug at my briefs, my instinct being to pull away, but one of those hands reached between my legs, running up beneath me and boldly cupping my already straining erection. I arched, shivering, and he was able to tug my briefs down; I fought a whimper, swallowing it quickly, but it only made him chuckle once more, just as derisive as the first. I let him disrobe me completely, then, my skin burning from the heat of his eyes and the knowledge of how easily I let myself be caught, displayed like a veteran porn star.

The mattress beneath me shifted slightly, alerting me to his movements even as he was touching me, running hands from the backs of my thighs up to the small of my back, both possessive and exploring in nature, like they'd never had the pleasure of touching me before.

I almost panicked at the foreignness of the touch, too caught in the headspace, until the man touched my back piece tat with reverence, a low hum washing over me and sending the panic back down. He caught my relaxation and acknowledged my acceptance, allowing himself to become a bit more forceful in his touching, in pulling me up onto my knees.

Fingertips feathered over my balls and I gasped, only to have fingers pushed into my mouth, the unspoken demand to suck on them making me feel weak all over. He moaned at the movements of my tongue, soft, and I flushed with pleasure, doing my best to pull another such moan from him but failing.

Before I was ready, he pulled his fingers from my mouth, using them to touch my back and draw lines of saliva across inked skin. Something slid across the more sensitive skin of my ass, and it took me a moment to realize it was his dick, his hands parting my cheeks so the head could nudge against my un-stretched hole.

There was no lube, no preparation, and my gut iced, lurching with the sudden understanding that he meant to fuck me dry; it would hurt, probably, but nothing I wouldn't be able to withstand. One hand let go, moving so he could hold his dick still to push against me, and I forced myself to relax, breathing slow and clenching my fists tighter to give myself an anchor.

Something blunt pressed against my hole and easily slid inside, my mind so caught up in not resisting that it took me a good moment to realize it was his thumb, slick with lube and working more inside.


My gasp made him snort, the first honest sound he'd made since waking me, and I couldn't help grinning, 'looking' back over my shoulder and causing him to mildly smack me on the ass. I didn't mind the brief sting, enjoying the mild thrill and content to keep things moving along; normally, he introduced a dildo to our play, regardless the situation, so I came to expect it as a natural progression.

Only, just when I'd relaxed into familiar foreplay, he grabbed the back of my head and pushed it down, holding it there as he skipped the usual and went right to fucking me.

I shuddered, gasping, as he eased inside, my body abruptly thrumming with banked coals. His technique was different, each pushing thrust done to a rhythm he'd never used before; again, that headspace returned, of not knowing the man behind the dick.

Panic began to well up and I bit my lip, fingers clenched tight as I felt myself involuntarily tug at the restraint around my wrists.

When I couldn't take much more, I found myself gasping, "Arsenic, god, arsenic."

He paused, and I grunted, "Too different."

Hands smoothed over my back in apology, and the thrusts changed, became more familiar.

"Thank you."

The headspace was gone entirely, the whole reason for the act, but I found I didn't mind, consoled by the familiar pleasure of Pudge fucking me, the pleasure making me gasp and groan softly. Inexplicably, he stopped, pulling away and leaving me half to orgasm and fully bemused.

A hand touched my wrist, fingers roughly tugging on the fastening to one side in order to free one of my hands; before I could comprehend what he meant, he'd physically moved me down and rolled me over, grabbing my wrist and latching it back into the restraint.

I pulled at the stretch of my arms, half wishing I could see his face filled with lust even as I bit my lip piercing and rolled my hips, wordlessly demanding that he take me again already. Breath on my cock made me still, humming as he took me into his mouth, slow suction not doing anything but to fan the coals still buried within.

Soon enough, he was back in position and pressing his dick inside my ass, angling perfectly and making me see stars within the blindfold.

I muffled my cries and he shifted his weight, heat blooming along my torso as he leaned close to my ear.

"Go ahead and scream. There's nobody around for half a mile."

The whisper was coarse, tone rough and with just enough suggestion of someone other than my lover that it sparked another version of the headspace lost before, my choked whimper making him chuckle darkly. I had no need for one of my safe words this time, fire blazing through my veins as I allowed my cries to become slightly more vocal, giving him incentive to fuck me more thoroughly.

Once started, I couldn't stop, almost sobbing by the time he finally allowed me to come by acting like he didn't give two shits whether I enjoyed myself or not, although he stalled his orgasm until after I'd had one of my own.

My breaths were still heavy as he finally let my wrists out of the restraints, twice as gentle now as he'd been rough before as he rubbed a bit of feeling back into my arms and hands before finally removing the blindfold. I was covered in sweat and tears, but my grin was genuine as he checked to make sure I was okay.

"Sorry I panicked," I said finally, voice hoarse.

"It's all right, Ty. It happens. Thank you for trusting me."

I grinned again, still coming down, and he chuckled, brushing sweaty hair from my forehead.

After a few minutes, he asked, "Up for a shower yet?"

"Hn. Once I can feel my spine, maybe."

"Your mouth is already going again. I think you're ready."

I groaned, but let him nudge me out of bed, stretching the slight soreness from my shoulders from holding them at an awkward angle for so long. I felt buzzed, energized, despite the stickiness of my sweat and our combined semen. Being tied up nearly always made me feel like I'd put my hands on the wrong ends of a light socket afterward, jumped up and ready to go.

I pulled out a new change of clothing; underwear, a faded band tee from high school, and a pair of flannel pants Deidre and her brother always call my 'old man pjs'; and walked from the bedroom, down the hall to the bathroom we'd had remodeled once we moved in.

Well, after we knocked down two walls for the combined library and 'dojo', as Aid had had set up in the first house.

Living out here was quieter than I was used to, at first, but it's nice, particularly when Deidre and Aiden come visit during the summer for two months every year. Both of them learned the basics of karate when they were younger, and eventually branched out into other forms of martial arts; Deidre took up kickboxing her freshmen year of high school, and Aiden gravitated to judo when he was eleven.

During the summer, Pudge usually worked with both in the dojo, watching and praising them, correcting their form as necessary though he was only schooled in karate. I would sprawl out in one of the plush chairs in the corner and watch them between my bouts of reading and designing of my newest tattoos; a minotaur stretched from the back of my knee down to the ankle of my left leg, and Medusa was on my right.

I planned for Cyclops eventually.

Pudge joined me in the shower soon after I began, the water steaming up the ceramic space as I wrapped myself around him and jerked him into another orgasm, my name on his lips and my breath in his ear.

"You want me to do you?"

I smiled, nosing the back of his neck; "No. You drained me pretty well."

His laughter made me grin, and I stepped back so I could soap up properly, finished before him and stepping out onto the mat to dry off while he quickly rinsed.

Downstairs was chilly, the floor numbing my bare toes even as I knocked the thermostat up a few notches and wandered into the kitchen to start a fresh pot of coffee. I had a mug waiting for Pudge by the time he joined me downstairs in faded jeans and ragged sweatshirt, and we adjourned to the living room. The same crime show marathon was on that had been playing when I went up for a brief nap earlier and I rolled my eyes, picking up my novel placed near the couch and settling into a comfortable slouch with Pudge's warmth at my side.



"Are you happy?"

I snorted; "Happy is such a ridiculous word."

"…That doesn't answer the question."

I looked up and met his gaze, noting the slight need for validation, even after all this time.

"When was the last time I was shit-faced?"

He frowned, whether from recalling the moment or from the seeming dodge, I couldn't say.

"When, Aid?"

"When I got that false positive."

Even thinking back to that mild scare with possible cancer made me ill, but I forced a light smile.


His frown deepened; "I do not."

I sighed, setting aside my book; "What brings this on? Was it earlier? I'm sorry I panicked. It happens sometimes."

"No. Maybe. Just…you loved Everett, were with him for years, but you were unhappy."

I snorted; "Pudge, I loved Ev, I still love him, but we were never in love."

"I don't understand."

Feeling heat rise up on my face, I nonetheless made myself say, "You were the reason I was unhappy with Everett."

"I…," he blushed, unable to look away and only half believing what I say.

Smacking him lightly with my book, I said, "Pudge, I adore you. Every time Ken teases me for looking at you with bedroom eyes, he's only half-joking. Everyone who ever sees us together knows we're in love. I'm infatuated."

Full-on apocalyptically red, he nonetheless said, "Infatuation wears off after the first couple months."

Smacking him with my book once more, I raised my eyebrows as case in point. He didn't say anything but he didn't have to. What he did for me earlier said enough.

I trust Pudge, and I have for as long as I can remember. Even if he's a total jackass before he's caffeinated, or he leaves his socks in little balls on the floor near the hamper, or he calls me a slut because I'm more interested in fellatio than letting him cook supper.

I trust him because he loves me. Because he's family.

"Tyler, I adore you too."

"I know."

He laughed; "You think you're so cute."

"I know I am. I get cuter with age."


"Hush, this book is distracting."

"It's something," he agreed, though he did settle back to watch his show again in peace.

Still, he took the time to find my hand where it rested on my thigh, curling our fingers together because he's more than a little sweet on me. Not that you'll ever hear me complaining.

a/n: The end.