I'm so scared. All the time. I have friends and family, peers ... even colleagues that I know I could talk to. But how can you talk to someone about something you yourself don't understand?
The Fear is always there. Always in the shadows, my loneliness incarnate.
I tried running away. I remember standing on top of a mountainside; a quiet and sunny morning in Nepal. Nothing for me to think, nothing for me to do. The Fear, at least for a moment, was nonexistent. But you always have to return to reality.
Can you see It? When you look in the mirror, can you see Its reflection? Out of the corner of your eye, back in a corner of the room, the silence in the music. In comes in many guises; hiding and concealing Its purpose.
Watch it: for it is growing. Never ending, never stopping. Staring at you, inside the silence.
I cannot help you fight it.
But I can help you to understand.
The Fear comes for everyone.
To see It does not make you weak.
To feel It does not make you different.
To sense It does not make you broken.
A never ending battle, for a single moment. Every day, struggling for that one clear, sunny, quiet moment. You just have to find your own.