31I found Freddie at lunch.
He was standing in line with a group of his friends, so I excused myself from Abby and hers and forced my feet towards him.
I tapped Freddie's shoulder. "Hey."
He froze when he turned to face me. I was kinda glad. The pause made me realise I hadn't come up with a single thing to say to him.
"Joey?"
"I tried to catch you after registration but you rushed off pretty quick."
"Oh. You did? Sorry."
"Yeah." I cracked the joints in my fingers. Freddie flinched. "Sorry."
"Oh, hey Joey," Tom said, turning away from the salad bar and tuning in to our conversation instead. Freddie and I turned to him instantly, so I can only imagine that he was as grateful for the interruption as I was.
"Hey-"
"Paige said she saw you in Art yesterday. Didn't you, Paige?"
The blonde glanced up from her phone and grinned at me. "Sure did."
"Sorry about that, by the way."
"Jeez, how many apologies has that been in the last two minutes?" Tom laughed. Freddie and I exchanged a look. "I can't believe you dropped Spanish though. Do you miss us?"
I allowed a chuckle slip through then. "I miss my window?"
Tom's palm found his chest. "Ouch."
"Um, Joey?" Freddie interrupted. "Don't want to keep you…" My throat constricted as my gaze dropped to his collar bones. "You probably had something to say, right?"
My mouth parted but-
"Did you want to change the time or something?"
"No." I shrugged, "Just thought that we're here now. We could—let's talk."
"Now?!" Freddie's eyes darted first to Tom and then to Paige, both of whom had odd expressions hijacking their faces too.
"Not here, no. Just thought—it's lunch. We've got some time. If you're not busy."
"He's not busy," Paige spoke up. Freddie sent her a look akin to a glare.
"You don't have to if you don't want to," I said.
"I want to," he said slowly. After a moment he sighed and turned to Tom. "Tell Sherry I'll be back in a minute, okay? I'm… I'm going to the toilet or something."
I raised a brow, but Tom winked at me as he saluted Freddie, and Paige looked just as amused.
"Don't you want to get your coat?" Freddie asked.
"Didn't bring one today."
"What?" He paused in front of the door leading to the field, hood midway up, and frowned down at me. "So why are we going outside?"
I glanced behind us. "Somebody could hear-" Freddie's lips grew almost unnoticeably thinner. "There's shelter by the sheds."
"Not much of it," he muttered.
I bit my lip. Freddie frowned harder. I stared out of the window and, after another moment, Freddie sighed loudly and pushed the door open. He strode into the downpour, hood up, head down, hands pushed into his anorak pockets. I followed, slower, heart suddenly going erratic.
"Did you want to go first?" I asked, wrapping my arms around myself and squinting in a futile attempt to keep from being blinded by rain. The droplets were cold against my skin. It was good; I felt like I was heating up.
"I guess. There isn't much to say." He laughed humourlessly and hugged himself too. "I'm pretty sure I know what you're going to say, but its fine. I shouldn't have kissed you. I won't do it again. I'm sorry. That's it."
"That's it?" I echoed.
"And Ryan thinks you're gay. You might want to sort that out. But whatever- don't worry, I won't do it again," Freddie finished firmly, just as I whispered "I liked it."
Freddie's expression dropped from his face and took all hint of colour with it. My eyes followed their direction and landed on his shoes, an inch deep in a puddle.
"What?"
"I'm sorry."
"What?"
"It's fucked up, I know. I'm sorry."
Freddie seemed to choke, commanding my eyes to meet with his. They were imploring. They were bright, intense brown eyes. I couldn't really describe them as hazel or chestnut because I had no idea what those colours really were, and milk chocolate seemed way too cliché, but, they were brown. Usually so dark, just then the individual spots of light on each of the falling raindrops seemingly bounced off the surface. They were asking me questions. The different shades were emotions, melting around each other in subtle rings that would shout green amid the cocoa, and then there I was, reflected in the shadowed pupils of his eyes.
"Joey, what are you trying to say?" he asked faintly.
"I liked it." I swallowed. "Freddie… I'm sorry."
He said "fuck."
A kiss is a touch of the lips. We met as contours, every inch of my body greeting his almost the moment that he moved. It was a reaction that I hadn't been aware that my instinct knew to act on. As his hands, only fractionally hesitant, rose to meet my jaw, cheeks, mine were already moving into position; to reach his back and hold him where he was. Against me. The way his mouth met mine had me straining to be closer, my heart increasing speed like a rabbit chased—
What the fuck was this?
Chapter Four: Uh-Oh
FREDDIE
Every thought I had was driven away or translated into Joey. The longer we kissed to a familiar soundtrack of rain that I was really beginning to like, the more I knew there was nowhere else I'd rather be.
My hands traced their way down Joey's slowly soaking chest, stretching stomach, and paused to squeeze his waist. His hips twitched and froze, prequel to a familiar movement. I tried to still the confused frustration that spiked as I began to pull away, but Joey tugged me back. His tongue asked I reprimand him just before his mouth placed itself between my teeth and urged I nibble down.
"I'm sorry," he whispered through the pinch, and I met his lips again with mine. It was a word we'd said too many times. Two disgustingly romantic bursts before we parted for breath, and I shook my head, disbelieving. Was Ryan actually right?
"Did you just come out to me?"
His eyes were suddenly shy of mine, but he was smiling. Slightly. I realised that Joey was blushing. I stuffed my hands back into my anorak pockets and shook to generate warmth but managed only to spray Joey with the precipitation my clothes had carried. He quirked a brow at me as I suppressed a smile. Joey raked a hand through his hair. "I don't know. I guess so? I was confused, Freddie. Fuck, I still am."
"Are you gay?"
Joey shrugged. "Maybe. You tell me. Does liking kissing you make me gay?"
Smile to smirk, I shook my head. "You like girls too. There's a name for that, you know."
"I don't know if I do," Joey murmured. "With Courtney at least. It was never…" My lips caught the attention of his gaze, and I couldn't help but lick them absentmindedly. "Like this. I never…" My eyes widened. Joey's took a staggered journey downwards, prompting my hand to leave my pocket and meet the icy blocks that were his. I took a step forward. Joey seemed to relax as my fingers almost automatically started to play with the unsuspecting joints of his. It felt oddly right, but stomach-churningly so. Something bad had to be on the horizon, every happy fibre of my being could feel it.
"What does this mean?"
A raindrop from the end of my nose dripped onto Joey's forehead as he blinked up at me silently.
"What are we doing?" I rephrased. The blonde before me let his fingers slip from mine, leaving them colder than they'd been before.
"I don't—not sure," he said, the insecure sliver of a Joey showing his true colours once again. It was the rain. It was definitely, without a doubt, the rain. "I don't know what you want, but, I'm scared and I'm sorry and I'm at least partly gay."
Gay. Gay didn't mean he wanted me all over him the second he'd figured it out. I cleared my throat, taking a step back. "I'm really glad you managed to clarify that-"
"For you. Gay for you." He closed the gap between us. "And I really don't want this to be one of those moments that I'll regret, so, I can't really stop thinking about you, and I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to."
For a moment I just stared at Joey, disbelief dancing with joy, and then I choked, bringing a hand to my lips. "Ryan's going to go mad."
Joey glanced sharply at me then and I laughed, tasting raindrops.
"Ryan?"
"I can't believe he was actually right." Joey simply stared at me, the corners of his lips still hinting at happy. "Maybe I shouldn't have. Sor—shit." Joey laughed, and I joined him. It was odd the level of relief I was feeling considering I'd been so ready to give the Forget the Guy plan a go.
"What about Ryan?"
"He sort of convinced me into tricking you into meeting him tomorrow," I admitted. "But you have to promise me you'll still go."
"I'll go," Joey replied without hesitation.
"Oh. Okay. Cool." He dropped his gaze. "Can I ask something? Why'd you freeze before?"
"What?"
"Earlier. When we were kissing."
"Oh." Joey blushed. "I don't know… I still liked it. Just… Felt like I was the woman." I laughed aloud at that. "What? I don't want to be the feminine one."
I snorted and raised an eyebrow. "And you think I like being the guy?"
"Why wouldn't you?" Joey looked genuinely confused, and that irked just the slightest, but he had a lot to learn, clearly. And I… Apparently had a lot to teach.
"We shouldn't probably go in," I murmured. "You're soaked."
"Yeah," he replied, making no attempt to move. "I am." And then Joey simply stared at me, the corners of his lips hinting at happy as my beam became the sun.
"Oh my God," Tom said.
"I know. And then we kissed."
"Holy shit," Tom crooned.
"Right?" I sniffed. "I think I like him."
"Uh-oh."
"What?!"
"Just… Uh-oh," Tom repeated, and his lips stretched slowly. "A good uh-oh."
"Am I fucked?"
"Well, you or Joey, yeah." I threw my pillow directly at Tom's head and he laughed aloud. "Hey! I've been rooting for you two this whole time and this is what I get?"
"Yeah, right."
"I have! Guess I'll take my fan services elsewhere," he teased. "Can I sip at the rum yet d'you think?"
"Shh! When are the others getting here?"
Tom shrugged. We were eating pizza and watching crappy television at his as we waited for the rest of the Mystery Gang to head over so we could all get ready and begin drinking together. Tom was already keen to start.