AN. Heya guys, this is the first story I've uploaded, I know it's a bit rough and not exactly perfect, bare with me though and yeah. I don't have much to say about this story. You know how you can sit down and then imagine different scenarios? This is one of those. With nothing left to say, I hope you enjoy!
She sat on the grass looking up at the skies. Celebration ringing in her ears behind her; a chorus of drunken slurs, a peaceful serenity covering her like a silk blanket. The shining stars so majestic, so dreamy, "Star light, star bright, first star. I see tonight." She spoke softly, thinking of what she wanted most. To be free of this unrequited love. To be free of these unholy chains that held her down, "wish I may, wish I might, have this dream I wish tonight." She closed her eyes and pulled her legs up to her chest, resting her chin atop her knees, she hugged her calves. A peace fell upon her and an empty void took her, maybe her wish came true? For right at this moment she felt nothing. A small smile graced the delicate features on her face. Maybe she could join the festivities now, without the feeling of her sanity fading. Maybe now she could look at his handsome face and not feel like her world was crashing down around her. Maybe, just maybe, she could smile and be happy for him.
"What did you wish for?" A familiar voice filled her ears, she didn't turn to look at him and she didn't dare break the trance that she had chanted to herself. The smell of his cologne invaded her senses, the musky scent made her swallow hard. Her safety bubble popped, so quickly, so easily and all the peace gone with it. The void she ignored in her chest, images were filled with his face, voice and scent. She wanted to curse at how easy it was for him to take away anything sort of balance she had just by being around, he wouldn't even know what he was doing to her. The voids filled with butterflies, these wretched insects seemed to be sporting blades for wings, because as they flew around in her body, they gave her that airy feeling, but also made it hard to breathe and hurt her more than anything she had ever felt before. She turned around to look up and see the haunting blue eyes that drifted through her dreams at night, invaded her every being. She winced a little as he sat next to her; it was way too close for comfort.
His warmth radiating and sending vibrations of confusion through her, he looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to answer, "The ability to forget" was her simple and cryptic reply. He frowned as she turned her head to look at the stars, a million questions running through her mind, "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with the family?" She said leaning back on her palms.
"mmh," he hummed, "Why aren't you there?" He said, she gave him a pointed glare, looking at the back of his head as he sat in a similar position to her, he sunk back down onto his back, the grass caressing his shoulders, looking at the dark skies. "They're not my family, you made that clear enough." She replied. He sighed and looked up at her, taking her hand and pulling her down to lie on the grass too. It was soft and had an earthy smell that made her slightly home sick, "I was mad at you," he said sternly. She pulled her hand away from him like it was scalding her and put it behind her head. The night sky seemed so radiant when you were level with it. "Really? I couldn't tell?" She remarked sardonically. He groaned, she couldn't fathom as to why he did though. "What you did, what you said... You know why I was mad," He said turning his head to look at her. She made a point of not making eye contact. Of course she knew. How could she forget? The memories and moment passed through her head like a broken record.
He sat up and looked at her with a knowing glare; her silence was more than confirmation. At least she didn't deny it, he thought to himself, she couldn't make eye contact with him. He had adored this girl, he worshipped the ground that she walked on, well, maybe not that far, but he could see himself with her in the future. He envisioned a life for them, beyond what he did with any other girl he had feelings for. The full moon was shining, her face in contemplation as she processed whatever she was thinking, her green eyes, her dark curled hair all animatedly moving as she the cogs in her mind worked overtime. "Oh, that," was all she had to say, he sneered at her, a look of disgust spread across his face, "Yes, that," he said through gritted teeth. She sat up and turned to face him, examining his face, his anger palpable, she could almost clutch it tightly with her fingers. The pain, anger and betrayal dancing across his eyes. She sighed, it was a sorrow filled one, with remorse and regret as it left her lips she couldn't bare to look at him again and placed her eyes on a tree lingering in the distance. "So you came here to me to start a fight?" The sound of her voice was broken as though she had secrets and many of them hiding somewhere deep inside her. Something she didn't wish to share. He wanted to know.
He wanted to know why, how. WHY?! "I want to why! I want to know WHY you would say something like that! I want you to apologize!" He said, his voice raising as he stood to his feet, towering over the girl in front of him. He was seething. He was glad that his voice hadn't cracked from all the pent up emotion, he was glad that he only sounded angry. He hoped he looked intimidating, he would get the answers out of her if it was the last thing he did! Silence. Silence filled the air, the sound of happy party goers and insects drowned out by the rigid tension and hostility in the air. The atmosphere changed so abruptly. The cold air seeming to chill her more. She looked up at the pale moon that looked so lively a few moments ago. It looked as if it had cried itself white, memories flooded her mind. A stray tear rolling down her face. The moon, that poor moon, it looked the same as it did all those years ago; she wondered how many tragedies that poor circle in the sky had to witness, had to watch, unable to defend the defenceless. "Well!" His impatient voice sounded, slowly getting louder, she winced, and she wondered how the people at the party hadn't heard him yelling.
She stayed seated, "It doesn't matter," she squeaked, "It's in the past." She tried to reason. There was no point dredging up the past, old feelings and hurt and pain. It wasn't worth it, there was nothing they could do to fix this. She could feel him lower himself, nearing her. He grabbed her chin and then forced her to look at him. Their eyes met, "Be that as it may," through clenched teeth, he was trying to keep in his anger, and did it really bother him this much? "You had no right to say those things about me! . .WHY!" He let go of her chin and then turned his back to her. He walked forward and took a deep breath. He sighed and then in a meek voice, something that caught her off guard he said, "I really liked you, you know?" She squared her shoulders that wanted nothing more than to crumble, "I'm sorry," she said weakly. She looked at his broad shoulders and arms that once held her close and made her knees weak. She bit her lip as he whipped around and eyes blazing she knew that the anger was back, "No! Sorry isn't good enough. For years! I have lived wondering what it is I did to you for you to spread such a thing about me! I don't understand! I thought you liked me too!" He practically screamed. She felt the tears rolling down her face, warm droplets that burnt her cold skin as they fell off of her face. She looked down, not able to look at him, "I was raped..." Her composure slowly crumbling. The cold of his glare was starting to seep through her skin and she shivered. Her shiver was more from reliving memories and the glare than the cold breeze that licking through her layers of clothing. "And!?" He shrill voice bellowed, "Why did you blame me!?" He was frantic, maybe he didn't realize that something happened, no, it was obvious that he didn't know. She couldn't look at him, but she knew his arms were flailing around, "Why did you tell them it was me!? You're fucked up you know that?!"
She was feeling many things and the last thing she needed was him to point the finger. She growled a little. Swallowing hard and looked up at him, she stood up abruptly, surprise in his eyes at her swift movement, "I DIDN'T!" She yelled back. Mustering up all the strength she could she took a deep breath and pushed a hand in his chest, "My dad," she sneered, "Decided that because he was a shit parent and couldn't handle his own mistakes in protecting his own daughter it would be better to put the blame on someone else," she let out a bitter laugh and shook her head, he didn't even have the balls to confront her about the accusation, thought that he could just throw it in the face of someone because he was mad. "He said it to hurt my aunt, because he couldn't handle the truth, the truth that he failed! He failed in every way a parent could fail!" She narrowed her eyes at him, feeling extremely exposed having divulged a part of her she liked to keep close to her. "I didn't say anything" she said softly looking away from him. She took a deep breath, she couldn't handle seeing the pity, anger and other emotions she was sure were displayed in his eyes. She turned her back to him wiping her eyes that were now an endless stream of flowing tears. She looked up at the sky and sighed, "But despite how I feel, he's my father and the only parent I have left," She scoffed at her disgust, disgust she had at herself for not being able to just cut him off. "So there's your explanation," she resigned, he won, he got what he wanted, they could both leave each other now, never have to see each other again, he could move on, write her off and she could rebuild her small solitude that she had left. "Enjoy the party," she said as she turned toward the car park down the grassy hill. Walking away from the love of her life, her first love.
There was no happy ending here for her. She knew it. The ending she had wanted was in the arms of the man she couldn't even look in the eye. The man who hated her. So she settled, she would be happy for his happiness. No man could ever compare to him, no man could have saved her the way he did.
Not in the mood to drive, well, more, unable to drive yet, she sat under the lone tree. She couldn't stop the tears flowing; the blurred vision impaired her from seeing much ahead of her. She thought of the memories. What little she had of them together, trying to be cool in front of the others waving around an expired condom from his wallet. To comforting her in her greatest time of need. Yes. She was happy with what she had with him, the time they spent together. Treasuring those short, but wonderful memories.
Layers. Intricate detail in everything she saw. She looked at the party, it was still going on. She looked in the direction she came from and then at the car park. She would have to go back to the party, she had stopped crying. A frown formed as the wind died down. She stood up and turned to head back to the party. She had no intention to drink; she didn't want to be here right now. She didn't even want to party with these people anymore. As she spun around though, she was met once again with familiar blue eyes, her arms hugged her chest. She wondered how long he had been standing there. How long had he been watching her in silence? She opened her mouth and closed it, opened it again but closed it. She looked down at the ground, unable to look in those eyes anymore. She opened her mouth with no thoughts gathered, "There's nothing mor-" She was cut off, she looked up at him, "I'm sorry" he blurted. Her green eyes meeting his blue, hers brows frowning in confusion. They both stood there looking at each other for a few moments and after a while she smiled sadly and walked towards him, placing a delicate hand on his chest. Her cruel mind imagining him leaning into her touch. "It wasn't your fault, it was just a cruel trick of fate." She dropped her hand and they both dangled limply by her side. The five fingers in her right hand screaming at her to touch him again, "There's nothing we can do about what was said and done in the past." She swallowed hard and chewed her bottom lip, wanting nothing more than to chew on her nails. There was a funny irony about this situation, having written a similar story like this not two weeks ago. "It's over now, you know the truth," she felt a strange sensation, the urge to vomit at every memory that cause this rift. He smiled sullenly and she frowned at him, "What's that look for?" He looked grieved and she saw something a kin to sorrow in his eyes. He took her lonely hand in his large one squeezing it tightly.
Shocked. She looked at their hands, the unavoidable feeling of ease, like they were always meant to be that way. Her eyes glued to their joined hands as he weaved his fingers between hers, "W-what are y-you doing?" She stuttered looking up at his intense eyes staring into her own. She felt her world crashing, all the barriers falling in seconds as he pulled her close and snaked his arms around her, embracing her frame in a familiar hug. All the time she spent building and barricading herself in a fortress it was as if he softly blew on it and made them crumble at his feet. She gulped, "I don't understand," she said as his warmth engulfed her, she a feeling of content and safety. His chin resting on her head as he held her tightly, that if he were to loosen his grip she might crumble like the walls he had just broken down. Tears of confusion leaked into his shirt as her strength was readily failing her, the pain in her chest increasing as she knew he was only playing games with her. Was this to get back at her from the years of him not knowing the truth? How cruel! "Why are you doing this?" She croaked, losing her resolve the longer she stayed in his arms. She gathered as much strength as she could and pulled away from him enough to search his eyes for the truth behind this hug. She frowned, she saw a familiar emotion lingering in his eyes, but the name of it she couldn't place. His arms still around her and her hands placed on his toned chest, clenching the material of his cotton shirt. He smiled down at her and leaned down, "What are you doin-" Silence. She was silenced with a chaste kiss from his lips to hers. She blinked blankly, trying to process what was going on in her head, "What is thi-" he kissed her again, this time more forceful, with more emotion, she could taste his emotions as his tongue glided across her bottom lip. She could feel the desperation and longing in his hands as they tightened around her waist.
He pulled back and raised a hand to her face, wiping away a stray tear, she didn't know she was still crying, she thought she had stopped, she was still crying? She would have to scold herself later for being so weak, right now, there were more important matters. "You've made it so much harder to hate you with the truth." He leaned down and kissed her forehead lovingly, he kissed her cheek, the corner of her mouth, her jaw, and right below her ear lobe, her body burnt with desire as the feeling of his kisses lingered, he whispered in her ear, "But then I know I never really hated you," He pulled back and looked into her eyes, examining what he saw. Shock. Affection. Surprise. Love. He smiled down at her and leaned in to kiss her again, as if to tell her lips a secret he'd hid all these years. She finally returned his kiss, the shock had passed her now, and she knew that she had always wanted him. She knew that she would always love him and now it was going to be harder to forget him ever. He relaxed a lot when she kissed him back, she could feel the tension rolling off of his body in waves. He pulled back and kissed her temple, lovingly rubbing her arms up and down. They both looked into each others' eyes and smiled, he kissed her nose and looked at her stroking her cheek bone with the ball of his thumb, "Until next time Kora,"
She sat up abruptly. "Oh," she said staring at the darkened room, "A dream," she felt all the emotions from her dream flood her. Overwhelm her. She swallowed hard and brushed a finger over her lips. They still tingled, as if someone had actually kissed her. She swallowed hard and forced the tears back. She lay back down on the bed and curled into a ball, "Liam," she whispered. A dream, a dream of everything she'd never hear and a dream of everything that would never happen. She smiled wistfully, with a slight hint of bitterness, at least she had dreams coupled with memories to keep his love for her in slight remembrance