Chapter Two: The Hook-up
The first woman my friend's eyes fell upon was a prissy chick in a grey business suit, eating her Chinese food slow and proper as if she was the Queen of England.
"No, no. Too high maintenance. It would take all my power to get her for myself."
The next woman my friend's eyes fell upon on was a fifty-year-old woman. The hag was stuffing a pizza down her throat like it was going out of style. Her hair looked slightly disheveled.
"I could get her for you, but my powers can get you something better than that chick. I bet she hasn't showered in a week. I shudder to think of her feminine odor."
At last his eyes fell upon a heavy set gothic looking chick. Or was she emo? She was wearing a black lacey thing for a blouse. It had long sleeves and I could make out a black bra under the lace. Her lips were painted black. She wore black eye shadow and can you guess what color her hair was?
A smile broke out on my friend's face.
"Damn, Herb, I can see her bra and she's big. Oh, boy, she's big. She's big! If those things don't put a little lead in your pencil then your heart ain't beating."
I looked her over and swallowed hard. There was something about her that scared and excited me.
"Come on, dude, let's go looking for sweaters for my Grandma."
"No way, Herb. We go over to that chick and I use my powers to get her for you."
My mind was spinning fast.
"What if it doesn't work?" I asked hoping for a way out.
"I'll buy you that new Mediaeval Baebes CD that you been whining that you want. See, a win-win situation for you."
I shrugged my shoulders. I had no choice about going along with him. We left our trays on the table and started walking over to the Goth chick's table when a female security guard tapped us on the shoulder.
"Would you two guys be so kind as to empty your trays in the trash can and place the trays on top of the can. The overworked mall staff would be grateful."
My friend made eye contact with the guard. His green eyes seemed penetrate into the blonde woman's soul. He smiled and spoke in that soothing voice of his.
"A great error on my part, but we saw a friend of ours sitting over there," he pointed to that Goth chick and continued talking, "We wanted to get to her as fast as we can and in our rush we forgot to clean up after ourselves. Just this once could you correct my error yourself."
The guard swallowed hard, my friend's smile widened, and the woman replied, "I…I, oh it is the Christmas season. Why not?"
My friend gave the guard a quick glance, taking in the fact that her uniform hugged the woman in all the right places, showing off her marvelous hourglass figure.
"Thank-you. Maybe we will meet again on more romantic terms, perhaps."
She giggled out loud at the word perhaps and walked over to the table and cleaned up our mess.
We made it to the Gothic chick's table and my friend seated himself in front of her and motioned for me to sit down beside him.
"Hey, what's the big idea," she spoke.
Her voice had a pleasant ring to it, but filled with plenty of annoyance. My friend only smiled.
"In a word, milady, love. You see…"
She threw her pretzel at my friend and spoke, "Get out of here, asshole. I am not impressed by your charms. You don't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting inside of me."
I blushed at her blunt talk, but she looked at me and smiled. My friend noticed her looking at me and grinned.
"I speak for Herb here. He has been admiring you from a far, but is slightly frightened by your awesome womanliness."
She grinned at me.
"Herb, is it? I am Teena and it is very nice to meet you. Why do you look so bummed out?"
Before I could answer my friend answered for me.
"He wanted the new Mediaeval Baebes CD, but he can't buy it, because he loaned his brother forty bucks and now his budget is destroyed for the month."
Teena smiled at me, reached into her purse, pulled out a pad, and wrote on it.
"Here is my address. Come over to my place tonight and I'll let you listen to their new album. It's beautiful music. We can dim the lights and sip mead. I promise you won't be disappointed."
"Thanks," I said, as she handed me the slip of paper.