You've heard about precious family heirlooms going missing. You may have experienced that shocking situation when you realize your wallet was taken. Maybe you even remember the time when your best friend stole the punch-line to a joke you've been eager to tell. Well, all that is thanks to my existence.

The name's Hermes. I'm son of Zeus and Maia. My father's the great Greek god of lightning. While my mother…she's one of the Pleiades (A daughter of Atlas, the Titan who still holds up the sky today).


Anyway, since I was born, I've been a little restless. My mom put me in my crib so I could sleep. Of course when she was gone, I snuck out. No one noticed as I took off away from home.


At one point, I came across a field of cherry-coloured cows.

They were being tended by another one of my dad's sons, Apollo. Apparently, his cows were sacred. However, the only difference I saw between his cows and normal cows was the hide colour.

I watched Apollo take care of his cattle. As exciting as farming is to some, I just wanted to do something more fun. But I waited, and waited until the god of prophecy & poetry left.

Eventually he did, and I had an idea. I decided to steal the cattle.


Even as a baby, moving the cows was easy. But putting boots on them was another story. You see, the cattle left tracks wherever they went, so I had to give them magic boots to makes sure I could hide them.

Later, I lead them to a grotto and sacrificed one of them. I can't remember what I did with the meat afterwards…maybe I made very divine hamburgers?

Soon I found a tortoise in the cave I was in and killed it, taking its pretty shell.


Sometime after that, I took off back home.

When I set myself back into my crib, I heard from my mother that Apollo's cattle had gone missing.

Apollo knew that the prank was my doing, being the god of prophecy and all, which was why he took me by the scruff of my neck to our dad, Zeus, for justice.

I denied everything my half-brother accused me of.

Apollo was not pleased.

Dad asked me again and I ended up telling him the truth. But instead of punishing me with a strike of his master bolt like all others who disobeyed the rules, he laughed.

Our dad found this whole situation real funny.

He still made me apologize to my half-brother though. To show how sorry I was, I gave Apollo the tortoise shell (From the tortoise I killed earlier, just to remind you) with the entrails of the cow I sacrificed earlier.

Apollo found that it made a beautiful sound when it was played and forgave me within a heartbeat. He called the instrument a lyre.


And just like that, I earned the title of the Greek god of thieves. Cool, eh?


Aoide's Note: I know I haven't updated in awhile. Blame homework...or MY procrastination issues.

~By the way, this is a short story that I've written in my Writing Class. We had to create a 'memory' story for any historical/mythological character. I just chose Hermes. His beginning was interesting and the first I could recall.