It feels like my skin is bending
A discordant somewhere rhythm
Suspended on the border of day and night
Unable to swim in either

The more times we circle the sun
The further I feel from you
Like the weight of decades is in me
My foundations vulnerable to the winds
Of a world without you in it
Singeing sand crumbles my insides
Blood in my veins thickens like
Grit in your mouth I feel I am turning to
Deserted desiccants resembling organs
Until there is nowhere for the heart
To send it's red love to and the infection
Creeps up into my eyes

When we were blue, and green in seasons
Of sea murmur and sky scatter
I sang because even when the moon rose
And I was alone, I knew the sun
Would shine again. There was expectation
Glorious and inevitable in the unavoidable
Spin of the stars aligning in the soul
Echoes of the same dance

How can colour crisp and burn
Right out of me as though it's never been
This feels like an ever-season, an endless
Brown winter eating the ocean in great gulps

They say it gets easier, time and all that
But the years have reinforced that
This has never been true of you

I think I will always be caught here
Cadenced between our past and future
Never able to hold you now, where we are
Constrained to live
Where time runs away from me
In seconds of sand
Horizontal hourglass and I can't
Breathe in the middle
Where I am tied to the present, and it
Is empty