First Installment

1. Years

Years, all these years
I've slaved to become
What? Nothing
Nothing at all
Developing theories
Just have them crushed
Under other things
That shouldn't be requirements
But they are
Oh they are
I thought I was better than this
I thought I'd always be
Not like the rest of them
Buried under a pile of
Chains and straightjackets
But I can't free myself
After years of thinking that
I wasn't crushed at all
I finally realize
Life is meaningless
Years are meaningless
They don't care
If you fall down crying
They just want us to be
Until the thoughts of freedom
Cannot escape anymore.

2. The Apocalypse

As to fall so far that one cannot reach
Is life and death combined
Safety bid farewell; now we shall breach
What beauty is undefined

If we rid our world of the secrets it keeps
We take all but a sphere
Either in small steps or in big leaps
Ignorance gradually turns to fear

Unity still will not prevent
A scratch that runs through humankind
Time wasted should be unspent
When the countless failures come to mind

Nature left untouched would thrive
But the past will take its toll
Can we make it out alive?
This seems to be our only goal

Soon we'll fall as far as hell-
Hold this statement in your heart
For on that day you'll know as well
The apocalypse is due to start.

3. Pure

Loneliness is my cure
Solitude my savior
I've rescued myself, for I'm still pure
In heart, in mind, in behavior

The streets are worn with footprints
Of the past, the present, the future
If you care to look, the outlines are hints
Based on the raze of culture

Mindless words rolled off their tongues
Filled with bitter, vengeful hate
On the ladder of despair, we descended the rungs
Until it was too late

They've paved a path to destruction
That our generation is obligated to fix
But we're no good at construction
We can't repair these shattered bricks

It's why I've locked myself in this house
Not that I'll be missed
I'm no one's sister, no one's spouse
I've never once been kissed

There are reasons why they say I'm pure
And I suppose they're right
But I'm the one who has a cure
And they all have to fight.

4. Freedom

It's just one place
In the midst of many places
He's just one face
In the midst of many faces
Life is a race
There are so many races
But some of us don't want to participate

I've met many there
Some are snakes, some are bears
But we all know how they fare
Underneath that malicious glare
We're an unlikely pair
He's a serpent, I'm a hare
Still, none of them really care
That we're sitting on a bench in nowhere

Our problems, they never show
But despite this they grow
Comfort may come slow
Sometimes it won't come at all, I should know
He's a vulture, I'm a crow
We may both fly out the window
But there's always a stone to throw
Always a cut to sew

What is love, what is hate?
What is good, what is great?
Why do I examine his every trait
His devious grin, his loping gait
Hard to tell if I'm fish or bait
As we sit here until it grows late
There's nothing to do but wait
Until our future determines our fate

Who am I, who is he?
In another life could we be
Friends to some undeterminable degree
Him a wolf, I a coyote?
But that's wishful thinking- I am but a flea
Looking for a way to flee
Maybe if I simply bleed
In death I will be free.

5. Smile

Smile, laugh
Laugh, smile
But love hasn't been here for a while
Enter the kitchen
Pick up a knife
Look at your friendships and sever the ties

Close your eyes a count to ten
We'll never see each other again
Because you left after so many others
Shoved our friendship away and grabbed for another's

Hugs and kisses
Kisses and hugs
Deflect all their comments with half-hearted shrugs
Glance at your lover
Pretend it's all right
And cry into your pillow throughout the whole night

A, B, C, D, E, F, G
Remember the things I thought we could be?
Share all our secrets we have plenty of time
But now you say my words are a crime

Smile, laugh
Laugh, smile
But love hasn't been here for a while
Enter my kitchen
Pick up my knife
Slit your throat and end your life.

6. Queen of the Divine

Peculiar words roll off your tongue
My name amongst the exquisite
Rose from the dead the girl who was hung
Now death is not requisite

Taste these letters one by one
As the flower petals catch the wind
The shedding of tears has just begun
Because of the girl who never sinned

May I plead for the pristine?
The deadly are the stilted
The rain has come and the leaves are green
The flower's all but wilted

Eyes flash open and you're afraid
Though it's I who was condemned
Now she leaves alone, unpaid
A tree of regret has slowly stemmed

So when the spirits come to steal
They'll know that every fault is mine
And then my sins will slowly heal
As she becomes Queen of the Divine.

7. Silence

Mother, hold me tight
Right before the storm strikes
The light has turned yellow
The weather is mellow
And the birds are eerily silent

Father, hold me tight
In the middle of the night
I woke up with a start
There's fear in my heart
And the world is eerily silent

Please, someone come
Before my life is done
For the monster took me
And will never let me be
Until I am eerily silent.

8. Abyss

Run, my child, run
Away from the plagues, away from the wars
Into the setting sun
The way vessels reach the shores
Abyss: a word that has no depth
That leads us to our ends
Is death nothing but a simple step?
Humanity knows it all depends.

~run away into the abyss that is humanity~

9. Concrete

Concrete under our feet
Yellow marks running across the street
Power lines strung high above our heads
Makes me think my life is dead

It's the human life we lead
Thinking we got everything we need
When our life's been ruined from the start
Why think from the brain when you can think from the heart?

Our predecessors took away
From the good people we could've been today
Now we better fret, we better frown
Because our whole world's turned upside down

Let's pour over our heads some wet concrete
Crash into a car while sitting in the front seat
Or touch a power line instead-
Why not? Life would be better dead.

10. Choice

Half empty or half full
Smile sweetly or damage pride?
Any choice will take its toll
But now you have to pick a side

It's the choices in life that get to you
One by one they knock us down
Some'll find a way to make it through
But only one will get the crown

The honor may be difficult
To manage on your own
Pressure to get an adequate result
Could gnaw you down to bone

Do you hate choice, or is it change?
You're older now, you should know
The whole process is meant to derange
Just a speck that is destined to grow

Health or happiness? That's one choice
Love or beauty? Heaven or life?
Come on, go ahead, don't lose your voice

It's cutting into us all, this godforsaken knife
And it's all your fault; it's all your mess
It's all up to your soul
Don't you dare even try to guess...

... Half empty or half full?