34Cassee hates the fact that she had to be here. Cassee hates the fact that she didn't really have to be here but she also didn't stop herself from coming. And really, Cassee hated the fact that right now, she is speaking to herself in third person.
I banged my head on the steering wheel of Tanner's car.
Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
I am hopeless. Shouldn't I be at home painting my toes? Shouldn't I be with Tanner – my twin brother – and Seth – my brother from another mother (and father) – who are currently ordering in pizza and watching The Hobbit?
Instead, I am here... outside the Miller's house, waiting for a familiar blond head to pop out of that door any second now.
Or minute.
Or hour.
Ughhh. Okay, Cassee... breathe. This is easy. Just turn the car back on and drive home, tell Tanner that you didn't like what they were playing in the cinema and that you'd rather stay at home and sleep. Easy.
Not.
Except I don't even remember what lame-ass excuse I told my twin brother just so I could borrow his car and drive here. To the one place I swore I'd never go to tonight.
But then, here I am, aren't I?
People tell me I'm beautiful all the time. I have a natural tan going on and my eyes are as blue as the deep sea. I have strawberry blonde hair and I'm pretty tall for a girl. Although I do not have the curvy Kim Kardashian-type of body all boys want, I'm pretty fit and people don't mistake me for a boy so I get by.
I look okay, I guess. Not that guys line up just to get my number but I know some people out there are interested in me.
So why am I here waiting for someone who might not even show up?
Ugh, who was I kidding? It's been a year since he last came to this town. Why was I even hoping he'd be here? If I were in his position - if Tanner was killed in a car accident while his cousin was driving - I'd run as fast as I could away from this forsaken town. And I will never look back.
His sister, Chelsea, was killed in a car accident in a highway just outside of town a year ago. My cousin, Mason, was the one driving the car when they beat a red light and a speeding twelve-wheeler truck hit them. Chelsea died instantly.
I still remember the pain and suffering I felt when we buried her... after all, she was my best friend.
I still remember crying and I remember seeing him cry.
What I don't remember, though, was the last thing he told me or the last thing I said to him.
I just remember going up to their house one day and bam! No one was there. They left.
I haven't seen him since.
Which brings me here, outside of the Miller's annual party. Maybe he decided to come. You know, just to see if things are still the same in this side of the country... not that I know what side of the country he's currently living at, judging by the fact that he blocked me on Facebook, thankyouverymuch.
Maybe he finally realized that he needed some form of closure so that we could finally move on with our lives. Ha! Move on, what a funny term. How do people move on, exactly? Can anyone please explain this process to me because it's so foreign and so... I don't know. Impersonal? Do I just go on living my life and forget that once upon a time, we existed? That there was an us?
And, omigod. What time is it already? 11:38? Gosh, I've only been here twenty minutes and yet I feel like I'm going crazy just sitting here and talking to myself. Maybe I really am crazy.
Maybe I should just go in and see if he's in there. Technically, I'm invited to this party. I have the text to prove it. So, yes. I will just pop in for a few seconds, see if he's there and...
And then what?
And then... nothing. I will go home. Okay. Yeah, sounds like a good plan.
I opened the door and stepped one foot out...
Oh no!
I stepped my foot back in, closed the door, and locked myself back in the car.
What am I doinnnggg? What if he is inside?
Do I smile at him?
Do I pretend to not see him at all?
Do I pretend to look like I don't want to smell him and see if he still smells the same even though I really really want to be able to smell him again?
What if I see him and then I shrivel up and die?
Well, whatever. I'm gonna shrivel up and die if I stay inside Tanner's stinky car, anyway.
Okay, so yes. I'm going in. I. AM. GOING. IN.
Deep breath.
Oh no, no, no, no.
I can't do it.
I can't.
I'm just gonna go home. Yeah. I'm gonna go home.
Or I'm just gonna stay here and subtly watch the people go in and out of the house. Yeah, Cassee, act like a creepy stalker.
*Knock!*
I almost jumped out of my seat at the sound of someone knocking on my window.
Great, now the police noticed me being creepy and freaky in the sidelines and is arresting me. Good job!
I lowered the window down, a smile kept in place, and prepared myself for what was going to happen.
Except it wasn't the police. It was one of the Miller brothers. It was Nathan Miller.
Shoot me now.
He beamed, "Aren't you coming in, Cass?"
I tried to perfect my look-at-me-smiling-what-no-I-am-not-nervous smile and tried to say something coherent except I only came up with "uhhmmm..."
He grinned, "Come on, it's freezing out here and it's so fun inside!"
Yeah, as if I cannot hear the speakers blaring from a few meters away.
Maybe Nathan noticed my expression (whatever my expression is at the moment because even I am not sure what it is) because he gave me a small, honest smile before saying, "he's not here this year."
And I just had to nod at that because what was I supposed to do? Bawl like a baby in front of Nathan Miller, his best friend?
I cleared my throat, determined to say something, except my vocal cords escaped me again.
Which apperently caused Nathan to be a little bit uncomfortable because he just tapped the roof of the car, grinned at me, said "So I'll see you inside!" and went off into the sunset which is just their house, really.
He's not here.
I don't know if I should feel frustrated or relieved at that news. In one hand, yey... I am not going to see him and I won't have to act like the awkward girlfriend whom he left a year ago but on the other hand... I'm not going to see him, which makes me feel all levels of sad.
I looked back to the direction of the Miller house and with a final smile, I drove back home.
I just wish we'd never see each other again because if we will, I'm gonna castrate Aden White's dingdong like it's nobody's business.
Cassee's story!:) What do you think guys? Is it okay? I had a fun time writing this so I hope you enjoy it too. Please don't forget to leave reviews. It makes me happy to know that you're taking some time to comment on my stories. Thank you everybody!
xxxCeline