17BORDERLINE
Spin-Off of Drop Dead Gorgeous
Chapter One –Amber
"Have you ever felt like you're on the borderline of insanity?
It's never an easy thing to avoid. Sometimes you just kind of feel yourself slipping. Other times, you start to wonder if you secretly just enjoy the pain that comes with it. But what is insanity really? Why does one feel insanity? And how does one acquire that insanity? Insanity, in the best way I can define, is the state of being mentally ill; madness. Extreme foolishness or irrationality. Lunacy. Dementia.
What is insanity?"
I take a deep breath and arch my back. "Okay, no holding back. Whaddya' think?"
Aaron laces his fingers together and presses them against him lip. He looks up at me with amusement. "You want the honest truth, Red?"
I nod quickly. "Rip the bandaid out."
"Okay," He shifts slowly. "It's a bit heavy for an oral assessment, don't you think?"
I sigh loudly and shake my head. "Oral was never my thing. Y'know, I thought Mr. Kenway meant 'deep and emotional' when he said 'I want a serious assessment this time'." I sit on the table next to Aaron, frowning. "Who knew he actually meant an oral worth two pages. I've written this damn insanity thing worth those two damn pages, and now I'm at a risk of it being too heavy'." I throw my hands up in the air. "This is baloney!"
"Now, just to be fair," Aaron says, grinning. "The lunch yesterday was baloney. This is nonsense."
"Don't be fresh with me!" I smack him as he laughs, noticing the way his pearly whites shine whenever he does so. Honestly, how can one maintain teeth so white? I skip one night of brushing my teeth and I wake up the next morning looking like Pennsatucky from Orange Is The New Black. Then again, Aaron doesn't just keep his teeth perfect. His hair, I notice, is looking greatly styled today as well. He's like one of those K-Pop dudes on TV. Always looking good even if he doesn't try.
"No, but seriously," Aaron says between chuckles, grabbing me by the wrist. He tugs on it gently and pulls me in. "You might wanna change your oral topic."
"Aaron-"
"Shh." He leans in close. Until we're only about an inch away.
I know what he's about to do. I know why he's doing it. I'm not an idiot. I'm not blind. I know this guy. I've seen the way he looks at me. Even back when Ken and I were still dating, he kept his crush no secret. Aaron has never masked his interest in me. It's obvious. Written all over his pretty-boy face and shiny teeth. It's gotten progressively worse since Ken and I broke up. I fear for the day he asks me out, because I have no interest in getting any closer to him than I already am now.
I pull away slightly and shake my head. "Aaron, please."
He lets his gaze linger by me, observing the way my eyes dart, and my nose scrunch up in discomfort. Finally he lets me go, sighs and looks away.
"Sorry."
"You know I care about you-"
"Just not in that way, yeah," He smiles. "I get it."
No, you don't. We've had this conversation at least, what, a dozen times? You've never stopped your advances, you asshole!
I purse my lips to keep from spitting out the spiteful truth my head had concocted up. It's never a good thing to make enemies. And despite his annoyingly persistent advances on me, Aaron is generally a good guy. A good guy who I don't mind being a friend to. As long as it stays that way. Just a friend. But, of course, with teenage dudes, it's always about the sex. And technically, I don't blame him. I'm one hot piece of ass. But a friend is a friend. He has to learn to control his urges.
I look down at the paper in my hands, wondering how one can make a speech about insanity 'light' and 'teenage-friendly'. Honestly, I don't even know why I chose the topic. Had something to do with the way I was feeling. Oh, right- This feeling in my gut whenever I see a certain someone. That's insanity.
"You know what," I grab the paper and shove it into my backpack, no longer seeing the need to look at it any longer than I already have. "Let's take a break. Heard the cafeteria is serving meatball bolognese today. Yum!" I jazz-hand in front of Aaron's face, making him laugh.
We both make our way out of the empty classroom and into the slightly crowded hallways. Attendance seems to be the lowest it has ever been, courtesy of Katherine's extravagant party last night. Believe it or not, it went on till 4 in the morning. I'm not even sure how Juliet managed to get the teachers out of that equation, but according to Pierce, a friend of mine who's in the Blow-Away gang, at least twice a dozen students stayed up in that auditorium dancing like they owned the damn place. I left a little early so I skimped out on a lot of things. Like, how Pierce had suddenly turned gay on us. Then again, Austin is hot. Like, he's really hot. So I can see how he managed to turn him.
Aaron steps closer to me. And when he leans in to whisper in my ear, I fear he might actually try and kiss me in public. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"
Wow, this is much worse than him kissing me. I force a smile and nod. "Sure. What's got your knobbers all conked up?"
Aaron straightens his back, and for a while, he doesn't say anything. He stares at the ground, then at his hands, then finally musters up enough courage to look me in the eye. If he can read minds, he'd be appalled to hear the loud prayers I'm sending up to the big man in the sky. "Listen. Since you broke up with that Kenny guy... There's been speculation." He shrugs. "Nothin' serious. I just kinda wanna hear your side to the story. So- So be honest with me here, okay?"
He looks at me dead in the eye, causing my whole body to freeze up. "We're friends, right?"
I swallow silently. "Of course, Aaron."
"Okay. Well-" He takes in a deep breath, and blurts out, "People say you're actually a lesbian."
Oh, thank God. If he'd asked me out right then, I would've flipped and made a whole scene about it. Look, I'm used to wearing my mask and all but warning off a confession without hurting someone or causing an offense is very, very hard. And despite his rather obvious flirtatious feelings towards me, I rather do like him as a friend. But this- This is good. This can be warded off. This, I know how to handle.
"Would you be uncomfortable with that?"
Aaron purses his lips, as if he's surprised, but he doesn't look mad. Or disgusted. Just a little- sad, in a way. It's not a surprise, considering if I decide to say yes, he'd have to come to terms with being into a lesbian all this time. Nervously, he scratches the back of his head and shrugs. "N-No, not really. I guess. I mean, everyone's gotta love someone, right?"
Yet there's an edge to his voice. An edge I'm all too familiar with.
God, you sound exactly like Anna, I can't help but think. I sigh slowly and scrutinize my options. Aaron likes me. But he definitely won't keep secrets to himself. If I decide to out myself as a lesbian now, he'll definitely tell his buddies in the track team. And then the whole school will know and I'll be labeled as one of Juliet's minions. Which is shit, by the way. It's a horrible system that I know will prevail till the end of time. Life sucks, right?
"I'm not a lesbian." I say casually, chuckling, throwing Aaron a sideways glance before turning to face the front. "But I guess when you're at this age, it's natural to be curious about some things, right?"
A look of utter relief crashes over his face. I seriously can't tell you how hard it is to hold back my smirk. "Yeah! Definitely. Oh man. You- aha, you scared me."
I bet I did.
Besides, I'm not a lesbian. Sure, I find a few girls hot. And I slept with Juliet that one time. The sex was amazing, yes. But that was due to her demon. Honestly, I barely felt anything. There were no- There were no real feelings there. I love Jules, but only as a friend. Maybe even a sister, as irregular as that sounds considering our history. And I wanted to find out more about the demon (If Juliet and I dated, wouldn't that be the perfect excuse to get her to fess up? Genius). That was all there is to it. The sex didn't mean any more than my kisses with Ken did.
I'm not a lesbian.
Then again, I wouldn't be considered straight then either, right?
I dated Ken. But that was circumstantial. I did it to please mother, and also because he was nice and sweet and the only boy who said he liked my eyes. My eyes, which are a grey, drab color. Yeah, thanks dad. I know I didn't really... love him. I've never found any guy who I'd go crazy over.
So I'm not a lesbian, nor am I straight.
Can this world be any more messed up? Whoever 'the one' is, he or she is sure taking a fuckload long a time to get here.
I sigh and try to focus on something else. Anything else, really. I know thinking about it will only be mood-dampening. I'd much rather think about lunch and what to do next period and why Tahlia Goldman wasn't in class today. Tahlia's always in class. Partly to see me and partly because she actually wants to listen to Dr. Michel. She's such a nerd. She's an adorable nerd. But shit, such a nerd.
"So, you seen Tahlia today?" Huh. Way to read my mind, Aaron.
I look up at Aaron with a mischievous eyebrow raised. "No. Why? You missin' her, blondie?"
He laughs and shakes his head, mouthing 'no' twice before actually saying it loud. "No way. You know she and I are completely platonic. Sides, she's a lesbian. And she's always with us anyways."
Not recently. Not since I've gotten more involved with Juliet. But I've always thought Tahlia was just pulling away cause she was jealous.
"I haven't seen her." I say, looking at the ground. Maybe there's a reason Tahlia's been pulling away. Is it possible that she knows about Juliet's demon too? No, can't be. Even I found out only because I was paying extreme attention and was being crazily observant. Tahlia wouldn't put in that much effort for someone she barely knows, or likes. She's the only lesbian, I believe, that hasn't fallen for Juliet's charms. They've never slept together and Tahlia's always tried to stay as far away from Jules as possible.
… Why is that?
"Do you think she's sick?"
Aaron picks up the worry etched in my voice. He wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me close. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure she's fine. Probably just got food-poisoning again. You know how she is- Sympathizing with those African kids and even eating food off the ground because she feels so bad."
I laugh and nod. I don't wanna pull away from his embrace. Because it feels quite nice, if I have to be honest. As long as he doesn't try to kiss me. "She's always so giving. I don't know, it just seems- It's not fair that she doesn't get as much as she gives."
Before he can respond, we're separated by a wave of people as they exit their classroom. I side-step pass several jocks who look about ready to fall onto the ground and sleep, but accidentally bump into someone in the process. The body I bump into feels hard, meaty; When I look up, my skin rashes in realization to who it is.
"Ken."
His curly brown hair was recently cut. I can tell. It's shorter around the neck. And unlike before, it doesn't go over his eyebrows. That's the first thing I notice before his brown eyes meet mine, and I'm taken back to the time when he was the only guy I felt I could be myself around.
He parts his lips, but no words leave his mouth. For a moment, all he does is stare at me. In shock? Confusion? Humiliation? I can't really tell. All I know is, he is as flustered about the accidental meeting as I am. "Amber." He smiles finally. A reaction that causes my heart to warm. "How're you?"
"Good," I mumble, looking away. "Been better. I mean, school's getting harder and stuff." I laugh to ease the tension, but I notice Ken's trying his hardest to make it seem normal as well. I'm grateful for that. Look, I'm not a total bitch, alright? I have dark thoughts sometimes. And it's true, I never really- I never really loved Ken. But I do care for him. More than I care for a lot of people. And shit, if you think I'm a sucker for thinking his old-fashioned ways are cute, then fuck you!
He nods, even though I know he still aces every class he attends. Finally I see his gaze dart towards my left. Towards where Aaron is standing. I can see the twitch in his eyebrow no matter how hard he tries to stop it.
Instinctively, I turn to him. "Hey, could you wait for me in the caf? I gotta talk to Ken for a while."
I think I might've offended him or something. Because his face goes all tight after hearing that. But he doesn't wanna seem like a jerk. He knows where my limit's at, so he nods and backs away. I watch his back disappear in the mass of people in a blur of striped T-shirts and golden shorts. The fashion of Summer. Amazing, truly. When I turn over to Ken, I notice his soft hazel eyes on me. It's like nostalgia, you know? It's crazy how I'm so used to seeing his eyes like that.
"Listen, Amber-"
"Don't." I shake my head quickly, already knowing what he's gonna say. "You're not at fault here. We've gone through this."
"But-" He sucks in a deep breath, and runs his fingers through his hair. And then, shockingly, I realize; he's lost a lot of weight. "I shouldn't have- I shouldn't have done what I did. I should've just come clean. And maybe we could've still been friends."
I look away guiltily. "If we were still friends... I would've never had gotten the courage to tell Jules who I am."
Ken's eyes widen instantly. "You told her? She knows? What did she say?"
"She was shocked. Like you. A little disgusted." I pause. "Like you."
Ken laughs. "Well, anyone would feel that way. N-Not the disgusted part. I just mean-" His frustration is growing with every clumsy word. And to be honest? I kinda enjoy it. I enjoy the unrehearsed, awkward talk. Because it's the closest thing I'll have to a real one-on-one with someone who knows who I really am. "She took it better than I did, I'm guessing. Considering you two are still close." His smile wavers. "Or closer."
Okay, I admit. I feel a little guilty. It was never my intention to get emotionally attached to Jules. It was one of those things where- 'She's a demon. I'm curious. Time to get closer to her.' But overtime, I started to realize she's actually a very fun person to hang around, believe it or not. Plus, her lame jokes and gayness just makes you laugh, y'know.
"Ken, she misses you too, you know that right?"
He shrugs it off, as if talking about the subject is too much for him to handle. As if he doesn't wanna even believe it's true. "It doesn't matter. We can't go back to the way we were before. Not anymore."
I wanna believe that's not true. "You lost a lot of weight." I say instead.
Ken raises his head slightly and cocks an eyebrow. "You noticed?" Laughing, he flexes his arm, looking the proudest he's been of his body since- Well, ever. "I've been focusing a lot on the football team since the whole break-up. Guess you can say it took over my life."
"Definitely. You look so great, Ken! I'm-" I feel my chest shift a little. I gulp it down to keep my voice from shaking. "I'm so proud of you."
Ken smiles. A genuine smile. I snap a picture of it with my mind and store it away in my vault.
"Thanks, Amber."
It seems we've run out of words to say to each other. Not that neither of us mind. What we're looking for goes beyond the need for words. Connecting mentally again- It can never happen. While we've never gone past second base, Ken and I were intimate in a much more... emotional way. We shared secrets we've never told anyone. He was the first person out of my family to ever find out about me. About the real me. The 'me' who hates the Powerpuff Girls at age 7 and broke into a convenience store with my sister to steal a bunch of chocolate bars at 13. I didn't tell him much. Just that I grew up in a rather- twisted environment. But I told him enough to cement our relationship together. He and I were something I can never find again. Or, at least, I don't think I can.
I notice he's reaching out to shake my hand. What, have we stooped so low that we now require handshakes as a sign for goodbye? Hell no.
"None of that awkward stuff." I say, slapping his hand away. I step forward and pull him into a hug, noticing the way his now-baggy shirt sinks in because of all the weight he's lost. I'm seriously glad for him. Growing up, he's always been self-conscious about the way he looked. Even as a guy. He was an emotional bloke. Like, really emotional. Much more than I am. When I hug him, I feel his body hesitate under mine, unsure of what to do. But after a moment or so, his arms wrap themselves around my waist. He responds positively. Almost by instinct.
We pull away from each other. And I vouch for being the first one to shoot the other a smile. "See you around, Ken." I say.
He returns the smile with one of his own, and nods before reaching up to tussle his hair. He does that a lot, even back when we were dating. I used to find it annoying. Now I notice it's actually kinda cute. "You too, Amber."
And just like that, our conversation ends.
We leave in opposite directions. Me, to the cafeteria. And him, to, what I'm assuming, the lockers. Ken's really changed. For the better, I believe. After all, this is the first time I've seen Ken so in shape. And that's saying something! I mean, we both took the break-up pretty hard. Well... Okay, I didn't really. He did. He was the one who cheated, yeah, but I believe he really did regret it. Plus there was also that little thing about me hiding a manipulative and psychopathic personality from him. So that's somethin' too, I guess. Look, I don't blame him. Guys have crazy sex drives and since Ken is an emotional bloke, he probably thought having sex with another girl would help him with his difficulty in accepting my suddenly dual-personality.
It didn't work, clearly, but it resulted in us breaking up and that resulted in him getting in shape! Life works... in strange ways. Don't you agree?
Before I reach the cafeteria, something catches my eye. Or rather, someone does. A visible scowl darkens my face as I approach the medium-height blonde boy leaning on the lockers with his arms crossed. I try my hardest not to glare, but it seems the reaction is automatic.
"I told you to wait in the cafeteria."
Aaron's expression continues to tighten. "I don't trust you with that guy, Red."
That guy? What, does he think Ken's some kind of serial rapist? "I was fine, Aaron. You don't have to be that whole overprotective father figure. You know how much I don't like people watching over my shoulder." I cross my arms and look over my shoulder to emphasize my point.
Aaron sighs and shakes his head. "That asshole cheated on you. I can't take that. He cheated on you."
"Yeah," I say. "And you cheated on Naomi but you don't hear me calling you an asshole."
Aaron flushes a bright red. Whether from embarrassment or shame, I can't really tell. All I know is that I've crossed a thin line there. And I have to apologize. Sometimes Aaron would do this to me. He'd drive me so close to ripping my mask off. But then I'd regain my senses and apologize. And all would be better.
"I'm sorry." I sigh softly, and place a hand on his arm. "I didn't mean that. I just- Ken and I are still friends, Aaron. He may have cheated on me, but he didn't do it to spite me."
No one cheats to spite the other. Do they? I mean, I know I'm a little nutty but that seems to go way beyond the normal definition of 'mean'. Why would you work so hard to receive someone else's heart just so you can throw it on the ground and stomp on it? I watch as Aaron's face go from tight to utter despair. And the only thing I can think about, no matter how hard I try to shake it, is how weak Aaron looks right now.
Look at that fucking frown. And those soft fucking blue eyes. I get that you're a soft touch. And that you care. And that you feel guilty over cheating. But that face- Oh dear fucking God, I wanna punch it so bad. You're letting the whole world see you as this weak piece of shit. You know how many people can exploit this weakness of yours? You know how many people can take it and turn it against you? Grow up, Aaron. The world is a twisted place and it's about time you learn that.
Then in a flash, I snap out of it. And all demeaning thoughts vanish.
Look, I can't explain it. Sometimes I kinda think I'm going insane. But there's just this little part of me – So little that you'd have to use an extra tiny microscope to see it – that breaks upon seeing an exposed weakness. My mind just goes into overdrive and all the thoughts that flow in are completely uncensored. I say the things that I'd never dare to say in real life. Not because I'm a coward. Not because I know it'll hurt people's feelings. But because the world will then hate me. And I don't want that. Amy told me to never trust the world and Amanda told me to always wear my mask. Haters will only get you negativity. To attract positivity, give the world positive vibes. I learn from my sisters. As I always have.
"Aaron?" I say his name once. Just to see if I can snap him out of it. Out of this weakened state. And to my honest pleasure, he does.
"Yeah." He mumbles, looking away nervously and scratching the back of his head. "Let's just- Let's just change topic, yeah?"
You don't gotta be so sheepish. "Yeah."
I grab his hand. When he makes no move to respond to it, I contemplate pulling my hand away. But then he squeezes it. Slightly, softly. And he intertwines our fingers together. We walk to the cafeteria, hand-in-hand, ignoring the glances and whispers of the students that watch us. Seriously, Stefthen is a huge gossip school. It took one day for word to spread around that Katherine and Juliet were roommates. One hour for word to spread that Ken and I had broken up. Ten minutes for word to spread that Juliet had beaten up Mikhail Daring in a bare fist fight against him and his three buddies. If I don't know any better, I'd say Gossip Girl is in our school.
I decide, it must be Sophia Rodriguez.
Aaron didn't recover even after lunch was over. He still had on his smile. His magical teenage pop-sensation aura never wavered. His teeth still shined. But shit, his eyes still screamed for the world to pity and love him and shower him with affection. Okay, maybe it wasn't that bad. But I can see the worst in people, okay? I can see every weakness in everybody. And when I see that weakness, I see it multiplied by ten. With a sigh, I enter the classroom, still lodged into my own world of annoyed criticism and bemused wonder at where the fuck Tahlia's gone. I'm so out of it that I almost bump straight into a classmate. That makes it twice today! Wow, Amber, you really know how to make an impression with people, don't you?
"Woah, sorry." I mumble, grinning apologetically at whoever I had almost bumped into. To my surprised amazement, the person who turns around and addresses me, is no other than the girl who's eyes seem to drive me mad with wonder. "Well, the universe sure is twisted. Will you look who it is."
Payton flinches. Visibly. "It's you."
"Yes, it is." I say, throwing her a smile. "My name's Amber, lest you've forgotten." And suddenly, I feel my whole mood shift. I lean forward slightly, so only she can hear what I say, "You're gonna jump out of your pretty pink panties when I tell you what I've discovered."
Her face colors slightly from, what I'm guessing, is embarrassment but she doesn't pull away. "Is it about Juliet?"
Juliet, Juliet, always about Juliet. Remember how I said I can spot weakness in anybody? Well, I spot a big one right now. "Would you still be excited if I said no?"
To my surprise, she doesn't glare at me. In fact, her expression turns weird. I can't quite pinpoint it. She pulls away and releases a short sigh before peering at me from the corner of her eye. "We'll talk about it in the library."
Ah, the library research time. The only time Payton and I ever socialize. And the only time I will ever get the chance to find out why her eyes are orange. "Alright." I mutter casually. "See you then."
Payton nods, and I'm finding it extremely difficult to pinpoint the emotion in her eyes. Is she relieved? Disappointed? Frustrated? But all I can freakin' see is that sea of orange. Holy shit, how does someone recognize her emotions when her eyes are as bright as the damn sun? Deciding that I'll never figure it out conventionally, I brush past her and make my way to my seat, despite my mind still swimming at all the possibilities.
Is she an alien? Could her parents have gotten her eyes modified when she was younger? Could they be a sign that she's suffering from a life-threatening disease?
I decide to ignore my confusion. As I've always have. Because I remember, I remember all too clearly, the voice of my sister Amy telling me to never trust the world, and to never care. Telling me that everyone and everything is twisted and corrupted and if I allow even one person to slip through that blank, it's all over. It's dark, yes. I probably shouldn't even be believing that kind of negativity. But then again, Amy's in college now getting her degree. So she must be doing something right.
I sit down heavily, breathing out a sigh of exhaustion as my body goes limp against the seat behind me. I sure can't wait to get back to the room and sleep. Someone taps me on the head. Surprised, I turn around to face the culprit, and my face splits into a giant grin.
"There you are."
A tanned girl with long blonde hair takes a seat behind me, looking as exotic as ever today. "Sorry. Had to ditch first period to help a friend with something."
"A friend?" I ask, shooting my blonde companion a look. "Tahlia, please don't tell me you're seeing that annoying Sophomore girl again, are you?"
Tahlia Goldman cringes, and shakes her head. "N-No. I wasn't. I mean, I'm not! I was just helping Owen out with his guitars. He's movin' dorms so he asked if I could help. Gosh, Amber." She lets her hand trace the surface of my forearm. "Don't be so jealous."
Now, Aaron and Tahlia are very similar in a lot of ways. They're both familiar, and nice to hang around. They won't prod you with questions you don't want to answer, and they won't overstep their boundaries if you tell them not to. But while Aaron is slow and subtle in his approach, Tahlia, when in private, is a full-on predatorial wolf. She will mark her territory and she will strike. And though I've never actually acknowledged an advance or responded with the same interest, I will always feel slightly... attracted to her. Not in a I-wanna-marry-you-and-be-with-you-forever kinda way. Not even necessarily in a sexual way.
I just am. And because of that, I let Tahlia flirt. I let Tahlia want me.
"I'm not jealous." I say, pouting.
A smirk etches on her dark face. "Are you sure? Cause you're lookin' a little red around your cheeks." With a sharp glint, she uses a finger to push my chin up. "I know when somethin's up with my girl."
My girl.
I don't think I like that term.
I lick my lips, noticing the way Tahlia's eyes follow my tongue, and push Tahlia's hand away. "Nice try." My voice grows low and sultry as I glare at her, causing her to flinch. "But you of all people should know how I feel about idiots saying bullshit like that in public."
Though she looks reluctant and the longing in her eyes still remain, she nods. Because she knows when my personalities shift. She recognizes the change. It scares her shitless, sure. But somehow, a smile still manages to linger on her bronze face. "Right. Sorry, Amber. Though I can't promise you it won't happen again."
"Keep it at a distance, Tahlia. I don't want people to start assuming."
"Let them assume. The only reason they do that is cause our lives are more interesting than theirs."
"Well assumptions become talk. And when false news spread that you and I might be an item, it'll just mean trouble." I shrug my shoulders and throw her a lazy smirk. "Who'd want to deal with that kinda mess?"
Tahlia grins. She has a great smile. A great smile. "I know, Amber."
It boggles the mind, how Tahlia can continue to stick with me (not to mention like me) despite having to deal with my personality changes. I'm known to be aggressive and rude when in this personality, I'm known to be cold-hearted and unforgiving. When you think about Tahlia, being nice and sweet and merciful and just too fucking kind, you just don't see our personalities mixing well. Yet she's the closest thing I have to a best friend. And while it's true, I admire strength more than anything else. And Tahlia's sweet and forgiving personality is just a red flag to my tastes, I can't help but like being around her. She's the only exception. I guess, if I have to come clean, she can be considered my weakness.
"You wanna play hooky?" Tahlia grins.
Oh gosh, it's the only thing I've wanted to do since waking up this morning. But damn it, I know skipping class will only destroy my current attendance. And I can't afford to upset my dad again after the incident last month. Regretfully, I say, "Not today, I think."
Tahlia frowns. "That's no fun. I thought you'd want to, considering last night."
Oh Tahlia, you have no idea. "I just can't. You know how Ian is."
"Ian? Your father?" Tahlia rolls her eyes and leans back in her seat. "I thought he was back in the military. He home now?"
"No. But he knows what I do in school. You forget that the principal is in cahoots with father dearest." I say it mockingly, rolling my eyes after and breathing out a sigh of frustration.
"At least you got a father."
Our gazes lock. And for a second, I think I might actually look guilty. Even in my innocent form, my raw emotions rarely show. So I bet Tahlia thinks this is a huge accomplishment. Even if she did bring up her own dead father, who died back in the military under Commander Ian Cassion's command. The connection should've tore us apart. Instead, somehow, it brought us closer together. We both bear no strong affection towards my father. We both feed a hatred that only grows as the years fly by.
"How is he, by the way?" Tahlia doesn't ask it in concern. She asks it in spite.
I know that. And yeah, I should feel defensive- I should wanna protect my father, who despite his personality, has been protecting me all these years. But I can't seem to find it inside of myself to care. "His letters say he's miserable. Apparently a few guys in his command heard about what happened to your dad and-" I hesitate and look away. "They're trying to mutiny."
Tahlia doesn't say anything. But when I look up, I manage to catch the beginning of a smirk etch across her face before it's wiped out. "Poor guy."
Before we can continue the conversation, Mr. Kenway, our English teacher, enters the classroom. He's an old man who, despite his tendencies to go off-topic, has a great personality and speaking voice. Apparently he majored in Mathematics. But the principal placed him as an English teacher because they were lacking one. He's great in English. That's all that matters. And I rather enjoy his talks. They take my mind off things I'd rather not think of.
The rest of the class breezes by. And though it makes me shiver in utter repulsion, I can't help but think of Juliet. Juliet, who, for the first time ever, managed to take control of her demon in a situation that could've killed both Payton and I. Juliet, who, for the first time ever, believes she can defeat this thing inside of her. It's a huge step for me. And it's an ever bigger step for her. Yet, now that I think about it, Juliet hasn't lost control in over a week. Not since that day, that is.
To think she was possessed, because she was dying. Where the hell does that even happen? In movies, yeah. But this isn't a movie. This is real life. And people don't just normally get possessed in real life. Moral of the story: Juliet's life can be a blockbuster movie. As long as I'm in it.
After class, I grab my stuff and turn around to face Tahlia. Who, despite loving studying and listening in classes, has fallen asleep.
"Tahlia?" I muse, raising an eyebrow. A chuckle threatens to slip through my lips as Tahlia's snoring intensifies. "You have got to be kidding."
I poke her on the cheek once, then twice, but still she makes no move to respond. It's either she attended the party last night and stayed up till late (I left early, so I didn't see her or anything) or she really was with that annoying Sophomore girl again this morning. The thought sickens me. Not because I like her. Like I said, I like being around her, just not exactly in a sexual way. It's just- I don't know. Maybe I'm protective over her because she's like a sister to me. A little sister. A little sister who I never got to help grow up. Ah, it's complicated. My whole family life is complicated. How can I explain it without sounding like a criminal?
"Tahlia." I grab her shoulder and shake her a little. That seems to do the trick. "You're starting to drool!"
She opens an eye slowly, observing my form with those lazy blue eyes of hers. With a yawn, she gets up and stretches, exposing her stomach for a split second as her small shirt rises with her chest. "Hey." She mutters sleepily, rubbing her eyes and plastering on this huge, stupid, goofy smile. "Best way to wake up, by far."
I return the smile and reach out to offer my hand. "Your compliments never get old, Tahlia. Never stop giving em."
"I'll stop when you stop being so fucking beautiful." And then she grabs my hand and pulls herself up. But she's taller than me – only by a few inches though– so when she stands and takes a step towards me I feel a mysterious, intimidating aura radiate from her. She locks gazes with me. And for some reason, at that moment, I can't look away. "Which," She says. "Is never, by the way."
This is the first time I've ever felt undermined by her. She's always been the little girl in our group. So seeing her like this, with her blue eyes so strikingly vivid and piercing, it makes me feel overwhelmed with a feeling I can't place.
A feeling I'm unfamiliar with? Rare.
She steps away from me after moments of silence and casually grabs her bag from underneath the table. With a smile she makes her way out of the class, expecting me to follow. But I don't. I stand there for a few seconds wondering what the hell just happened. Wondering why I feel this strange feeling bubbling up in my chest. Insanity, that's what it is. Why are my insides turning? It makes no sense. I turn around to catch her walk through the threshold. So I snap myself out of it. I can't obsess about this. Not here, at least. I have Algebra next period. Then I have to go back to my dorm and sleep for three hours before getting up and meeting Payton at the library.
A step-by-step routine that I've adjusted to.
I shake my head and quickly dart out of class, slamming the door behind me.
Here it is, guys!
The spin-off involving our one and only, Amber Cassion. You get a little insight of what goes on in that head of hers, who she hangs out with, and a little of her back story. I'll elaborate more on that in future chapters.
Hope it kicked off nicely! Also, I've recently read this book called Fire and Flood by Victoria Scott and for someone who stops reading books half-way because she loses interest, I find this book amazing. But this is just me. I highly recommend it.
ANYWAYS, give me a little feedback here! I'd love to know what you guys want to see more of and what you guys liked. Thanks for the support, yeah!
-K