17Chapter Three –Amber
Insanity is a disease that- No, that's not right.
It destroys all sane thoughts and fabricates destruction in the form of impulses.Well, I doubt Mr. Kenway will appreciate me stating the obvious.
Madness, the non-legal word for insanity, has been-Ah, shit, where the hell am I even going with this?
I dump my book and pencil down on the table and push them all away. It's no use. I can't think with the amount of alcohol I've consumed. Not right now. Not with all the bullshit going on these past few days. Although true, I did kinda ask for it when I decided to step into Juliet's uncensored, unadulterated demon world. But then again, consider the possibility that with involving myself with a demon, I might just get a ticket out of having to deal with teenage drama. But I guess, due to the world's twisted and agonizingly expected ways, teenage drama will catch up to you whether or not you want it to.
I chew on my bottom lip.
This kind of stress isn't good for me. It isn't good for my grades and it isn't good for my well-being. And if I'd learn anything from Amy whatsoever, it's that sex always helps with relieving stress. So yes, though I'm not proud, I reach out to grab my phone and scroll through a number of contacts. My eyes land on a familiar and enticing name soon enough. It'll come with consequences. A lot of consequences. But at least we're familiar, right?
Sighing, and not really caring for the fact that I'm far from being in the right mind to make this kind of decision, I hit call and press the phone to my ear.
After a few rings, she picks up. "Amber!"
"Hey Tahlia." I say softly, looking down at my feet. "You free tonight?"
I can hear some kind of weird shuffling sound in the background, along with heavy panting. "F-Free? Uh, not- Not really. I-" A moan. "I don't think I'm free- right this moment but uh-"
"Oh." I force myself to remain impassive. If the sounds weren't enough, her rejection is a clear flag. A clear flag that she's obviously not free. And she obviously won't be free anytime soon. I knew Tahlia was secretly seeing someone in the side, but I didn't expect it to have- to have gone this far already. I look up at the window and smile bitterly. "Forget it then. Enjoy your night."
Before she responds, I hang up. Because the sound of her banging some mindless slut is enough to cause some serious rage to burn inside of me.
So, Tahlia's moved on, huh? Or rather, she's turning into another Juliet. A lesbian who's just banging girls for the hell of it. Because of the pleasure. I never thought she was the kind. She's been dedicated and loyal to all her past girlfriends. But... I have to consider the possibility- Maybe this girl is someone serious. The thought makes me even angrier.
I scroll through my contacts again and call the closest person I can find. Pressing the phone to my ear, I wait. I wait and soothe my anger by deciding to go nuts with whoever's on the other end. I glance at the clock. 2.20 AM. He should still be awake, right?
The dial tone stops. "Hello?"
"Aaron." I purr, twirling a strand of auburn hair around my index finger. "Where're you?"
"Amber?" His confused voice is far more raspier than I've ever heard it. He's either drunk or half-asleep. I decide for a little of both. "Amber, what's going on?"
"Nothing's going on." I say. "I've just been wondering... thinking... Thinking about you." I laugh. "Thinking about us."
There's a short silence before I hear his lamp being switched on. "Amber, are you okay? Where are you? Are you at Connery's party?" Concern is dripped all over his perfectly thought-out words. But I hear nothing except lust. Even if it is all just in my head.
"I'm in my room. Alone." I say, purposely dropping my voice down to create that low, sultry sound. I can't tell if what I'm doing is the right thing. All I know is that I want someone to warm the bed with me tonight. Because fuck, this shit about insanity is getting to my head. A few more steps and I might actually cross that borderline. "Aaron, won't you accompany me tonight? Won't you... soothe my loneliness?"
I can hear his shallow breathing on the other end. "Amber-"
"You like me, don't you Aaron?"
He scoffs. "Like you?" I can hear him getting up. "Amber, I more than just like you. Now stay there. I'm coming over."
Boys. So easy.
I hang up and drop the phone on the table, deciding that if I'm gonna sleep with anyone tonight, I might as well get a little clean. Grabbing the empty bottles, I dump them in the trash bin and make my way to the bathroom. My head is light and less than qualified to be making sex decisions right now, but my whole body is screaming to get penetrated. To get invaded and touched and loved. I don't even think twice when five minutes later, a knock sounds on my door, and I walk towards it in nothing but a partially see-through baggy shirt.
I open it. And a smile automatically creeps up onto my face.
"I asked you to come over, but you didn't have to come shirtless."
Aaron looks down at his bare body before looking back up at me. Concern still colors his blue eyes. But longing overpowers it. "I wanted to make sure that if you were gonna do this, you won't be second-guessing your choice."
I laugh and grab ahold of his neck, fingers roaming around the dense muscles in his body. "I'm not. I'm definitely not. Now come the hell inside before I jump on you. Right now. In public."
He grins. "That'd be more interesting, don't you think?"
I pull him in without another word and smash my lips against his. The taste is- It's dull and hard. Tough and meaty. Similar to Ken, but way less affectionate. Yet I don't give two shits about it as he and I drop onto my bed, stripping each other of our clothes.
"Wait." He pulls away, breathing heavily. "What about your roommate?"
"She's out visiting her family in Wisconsin. Now shut up." I pull him back into me, and our lips make contact. He's clearly experienced in this. He knows where to touch, where to kiss, where to pressurize, and where to avoid. I guess it's a good thing I do too. He doesn't try to do anything weird. He keeps it simple. Simple, but effective. With each thrust, I find myself drawing closer to climax. Closer to releasing all that built-up stress that's been accumulating inside of me. And when it does happen, I feel all the worries of the world fall off my shoulders.
Except one last worry that decides to knock me on the head before I fall unconscious in his arms.
Holy fuck, I slept with Aaron Mackoy.
The next morning doesn't greet me well. I wake up, realizing that I'm in the arms of some random guy, and burst out of bed in a fit of panic. Of course, once I notice it's Aaron who has apparently spooned me to sleep, the memories of last night come to play in my slightly-hangover'd head. Guess who feels like a complete moron? Yeah. It's never a good thing to get drunk on a school night. On any night, in fact. Because getting drunk leads to bad decisions. So remember this, kids! Before you start rebelling against your parents and buying Budweiser in your nearest convenience stores.
I get cleaned up and dressed surprisingly fast, no doubt due to the immensely strong feeling of agony bubbling up in my body, and I manage to escape the room of bad decisions before Aaron wakes up. I know, I'm a bitch.
But fuck it, once Aaron wakes up, it's gonna cause a whole shit storm to blow out of proportions. I don't wanna bring in more drama by ending my friendship with him. What happened with Ken was already one horrible situation. But no doubt, he'll tell his track team buddies about this, and if I tell him it was drunken mistake, he'd go all out his way to prove me wrong. Shit, Amber, why'd you gotta be such a horny drunk?
Facts are, what happened last night can't be undone. It can't be forgotten nor can it be ignored. I had decided to let a freaking raccoon into my bed last night! Not to mention nearly sleeping with Tahlia, who, I thank God to this moment, rejected me. I wasn't in the right mind last night, we all know that! But Aaron has a way around words. He'll just- He'll just fucking twist it around and make it seem like I did, in fact, want to let him ejaculate inside of me. Not the best of pictures, true, but this is what I have to deal with. Stupid, stupid girl hormones and teenage sex drives. Shit. How am I gonna explain this to Tahlia? To Ken? Hell, to my dad! Once this news becomes viral, the principal will, no doubt, call daddy dearest to tell him of my wrong-doings. And shit, as if I'm not in enough trouble with Ian.
It's too early in the morning for me to head to class. So instead I grab a cup of coffee in the dorm lounge and sit there for a while. Sipping and staring and wondering how the fuck am I gonna fix this?!
I sigh into my hands, deciding that the best thing I can do at this point, though it kills me, is to wait for Aaron to wake up and talk it out with him in a gentle, understanding one-on-one. Then maybe later, I can chop his body up into pieces and leave him to rot in the nearest landfill. I decide that the chopping bit, though greatly satisfying, won't actually help me. Considering Ian's more likely to kill me for murder than for sex. Sides, sex is sex. It shouldn't mean anything, right? Fuck. I've been dodging all of Aaron's annoying advances for months and one little slip-up causes me to break into an all-out war zone. This is my life. Welcome to Amber Cassion's amazing and totally underrated world of freedom, sex, booze and terrifying drama!
I'm too distracted to notice someone making their way down the stairs towards me. "Hey, someone's up early." A voice snaps me out of my uncensored thoughts. I look up and find myself staring into the dark blue eyes of – Well God sure has a sense of humor – Vanessa fucking Rose. She shoots a smile my way before getting herself a cup of coffee. "Any agenda going on?"
I wait till she's not looking, before straightening my back and sucking in a deep breath. Okay, Amber- Time to be as fucking innocent as you can be. "Nope." I say, smiling. "Just thought I needed to get up early, is all. With all those tests coming up, it doesn't hurt to get a little morning sunshine on the skin, right?" I finish it off with a charming, little-girl laugh. Even though I'm cursing all this annoying morning chit-chat inside. Seriously, my head is fucking throbbing from all that alcohol last night and I'm haunted by the most horrible decision I have ever made in my entire life.
Is that going a bit overboard? Good. Cause it's fucking true.
Vanessa laughs. "Yeah, I hear you." She takes a sip before saying, "Exams can be a real pain in the ass. I had to stay up late last night to cram on Chemistry. I swear, it's the worst subject ever."
Chemistry? I'm half-tempted to accuse her of 'studying' Chemistry with a certain sand-haired Whitefish Girl, but I stop myself just before the beginning of the sentence leaves my mouth. I look down at my coffee, swallow and take in a huge gulp. The taste forces all my thoughts away. Thankfully. After placing the cup back down and releasing a soft sigh, I put on a smile and ask, "What're you doing up so early, Vanessa?"
She turns around and makes her way to me after having made her coffee the way she likes it. She sits opposite me, and though I'm trying my hardest to stop it, my body tenses up in response. "I always get up this early for my daily jog." She shrugs and grins. "Gotta keep in shape, right?"
I hate to admit it, but Vanessa is really in shape. And the only reason I hate to admit it is because I don't get off complimenting people. Not honestly, anyway. Yeah, I'm the jerk. Continue to judge me as you realize this world isn't as great as you think it is!
"Yeah, definitely." I say instead, smiling her way.
Mornings are great. Truly. I have to keep myself from rolling my eyes at the thought.
Once Vanessa is gone (with her annoyingly perfect ponytail swishing in synchronization to her hips), I dump my cup of coffee into the sink, wash my face thoroughly of sleep and depression, and make my way back to my room. I have to deal with this. Plus I have to get Aaron out of my room before the other girls wake up. If anyone catches him leaving my room shirtless? Jesus, all hell's gonna break loose.
I take two steps at a time getting up, because the time is nearing 6.30, and that's the usual time everybody wakes up. I take a deep breath before opening the door to my room, and shut it quietly behind me once I step in. The first thing I do, besides breathe, is look at Aaron. He's still sleeping in my bed, the arm that was originally around me now hangs off the bed lazily. His usually neat and kept hair is ruffled and messy all around. But that doesn't really get my attention. I bite my lip. Okay. Best course of action? Don't... Don't wake him up in an intimate matter. If you're the first thing he sees upon waking up, he'll think you wanted this. He'll think you've staring at his sleeping fucking face all this time. So waking him up face-to-face is definitely a no-no.
Stepping back, I position myself near the door and grab his clothes. I take in a deep, agonizing breath.
"Aaron." I say once. He doesn't stir. "Aaron, wake up." He still doesn't stir. Agitation starts to build up inside of me. "Aaron! Get your ass out of my bed!" He stirs slightly, but not enough to calm my irritation. "Shit! Aaron, get up!" I throw his pants and undies at his face, causing him to burst out of my bed in shock.
"W-What? What's going on?! What's happening?!" He scans the room for a millisecond, taking in all the girly decorations and pink wallpaper, before his eyes land on me. Surprise overwhelms his panic. "So it wasn't a dream after all."
Oh my God, that is the wors- I roll my eyes and force myself to remain completely and believably innocent. "No, it wasn't." I say softly, gritting my teeth together to keep the angry insults from shooting out of my mouth like a submachine laser gun. "But it- it was a mistake, okay? I wasn't- I wasn't in the right mind and neither were you-"
"Oh, I was very much in the right mind." He grins at me.
Aha – Screw you!
"Aaron. You need to leave my room right now." I hesitate, before quickly adding, "I don't want anyone seeing you."
He shifts his position, so that his feet now touch the floor. But the blanket remains covering his lower region. He takes in a deep breath before running his fingers through his hair. Yes, Aaron, take your time thinking about this while I attempt to soothe this raging bull inside my head. He smiles a little before gesturing around him. "So that's it? You're just kicking me out?"
I cover my face with my hand and shake my head. "Aaron, the school doesn't need to know that you and I had a one-night-stand-"
"What if I won't let it be a one-night-stand?"
See? See?! There's that- that stupid fucking annoying little twist of words. He's gonna shove all of this in my face and make me regret ever being friends with him. But hell, I'm being the better person here. Because I'm a good freaking person.
"Aaron, please, just-" I can feel the start of tears prickling my eyes. And the greatest part is, Aaron actually believes it.
"Oh no, don't- Shit. Okay." He grabs his clothes and gets up. As I turn around to avoid looking at the parts of him I had so stupidly allowed him to insert inside of me, I continue to hear him apologize and curse. Honestly, it brings me no joy to hear him say this. I just want him to forget all about last night. But I know a few tears won't stop him from telling his friends. He's a human of the male specimen. And he's a human who's been wanting to get into my panties since day one. "Okay, okay, okay. I'm sorry, Red. I just- Gimme a sec- Okay. There. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll go."
I turn around once he finally manages to get his pants up and zipped. He's standing there, with his hair once again somehow all neat and shit, looking as if he's expecting me to say some sort of heart-warming goodbye. Or to confirm that I do indeed want to continue this not-at-all-pleasing sex routine. Instead, I shake my head at him and push him out the door.
"Out, Aaron! Go!"
He laughs at me, which doesn't for a second help my burning mood, and raises his hands in defense. "Okay, okay, Red. I got it."
As he leaves down the corridor, my gaze is caught by something – Or someone – standing near the threshold of Vanessa fucking Rose's dorm room. Of course, my earlier suspicions are proven true. Because while Vanessa did indeed study hard for Chemistry last night, she failed to mention her partner in which she 'studied hard' with, who, as soon as our gazes connect, looks undoubtedly pleased at having caught me ushering a shirtless Aaron out of my room.
Who cares about Aaron telling his track team buddies about what happened? I just managed to nab the biggest gossipper in our school front-seat tickets to my extraordinary drama starring Aaron Mackoy!
She smirks at me. And though I've spent years building up this innocent facade, I've dealt with too much bullshit this morning and my head is still pounding from last night – From both the alcohol and the mistake – So I don't even give two shits as I shoot a glare right her way.
"Don't you dare, Rodriguez."
She laughs and leans against the doorframe with her arms crossed. A sly, devious smirk paints her face like she's ready to use this single piece of information to kill. "Someone clearly woke up in the wrong side of the bed this morning." She tilts her head slightly. "Did Aaron take up your favorite spot?"
I have to take a breath before responding. Because the uncensored thoughts are beginning to overflow. "Don't even- Don't... Fuck." I decide to just let it all out. "Don't fucking dare tell anyone! Hell, if you even so much as whisper a subtle fucking hint to someone in the middle of a damn deuce, I will tell the whole school how Sophie I-love-dicks Rodriguez is into pussies and falling head over heels for the Blow-Away gang's top athlete. Who is a fucking chick. Don't even start with me, because I know how to end a war on my terms. Hell, if you even fucking dare remember this little episode, I will make sure you never see your little girlfriend again, do I make myself fucking clear?!"
Ah, the joy it would be to actually say all that. Fortunately (and unfortunately), I'm much stronger than that. And much smarter too. Because I resist the urge to scream all those words at her face, and instead look away for a second to gather my thoughts and take deep breaths, before turning back to Sophia, who, by the way, is still wearing that fucking smirk. With a nervous smile and a shitload of self-control, I say, "Sophia, I'd- I'd really appreciate it if you didn't... mention this to anyone."
She laughs and shrugs. "Sure, dandelion."
Great, now you're lying to my face! Haha, fuck you!
"Or." I say, arching my back and pointing a single finger at her smug face. "Or I can use the alternative response and threaten to expose your secret about being into a member of my gang." I shrug and shoot her the same smirk she's wearing. "I'm sure everyone, including your friends in your little 'Whitefish Girls' posy, will enjoy this sensitive piece of information."
Her gaze narrows and her posture tenses. It's all the reaction I need to launch the killing blow. "You don't even have proof."
I look up at the ceiling, smirk and look back down at her. "Wanna bet?"
For a while, we're launched into this intense staring match. She doesn't wanna back down. But I sure as hell don't either. It seems I have the upper-hand here. And it seems Sophia is smart enough to realize that. She chuckles, nods her head at me and says, "Not bad, Amber. Didn't think you were the blackmail type."
"I'm not." I say plainly. "I just do it when I'm forced into certain situations."
She looks approving. I don't know whether to feel happy or a little frightened at that. The biggest gossiper in our school approving me of using blackmail? It's a hard subject to be happy about.
"So, we good?" She asks. "I mean, you won't... tell anyone about 'this'-" She gestures to Vanessa's room. "-right?"
I shrug. "As long as you don't spread your lips about 'that'-" I point to the direction Aaron left in. "-then yes, we're good."
She smiles and nods, though I can tell from the slight tension in her body that she's uncomfortable with having to keep the juiciest news in school since Juliet and Mikhail fought a secret. I decide to let her enjoy the pressure of having to keep it under wraps, because God knows she needs a little restraint. I re-enter my room, look around and eye my bed with clear disdain. I'm gonna need to wash and disinfect my sheets. Not entirely because Aaron and I had sex on it (Though that's a solid reason in itself) but also because it most probably has his scent on it and I don't want any reminder of the time I had so stupidly allowed him into my bed. His scent is most probably the worst thing that could be left of him. So with a sigh and a heavy heart, I grab my phone and call up the only sister I have left to call.
After three rings, she picks up.
"Ah, look who it is! My greatest fucking masterpiece ever." Her voice is raspy and loud. Raspy, no doubt from all the recent smoking, and loud, just because she's the noisiest son of a bitch I've ever met. "Speak to me, churbz."
I laugh and decide to go straight to the point. "You out of juvy yet?"
"Um, the fact that you're calling me on my fucking cell and I picked it up an answer for ya?"
I purse my lips. "Oh." Shaking my head, I lean against my window and ask, "Could you come to my school and pick up some dirty sheets? I need em burned. I also need new ones." Washing and disinfecting doesn't sound sterile enough anymore.
I can hear her laugh from the other end. "Don't tell me you fucking killed someone, churbz. Cause I didn't fucking teach you that."
If you think I curse a lot, wait'll you get a load of my sister. "I didn't. But I did do- I did something stupid, okay? And I need to fix it. First way to fix it, is to get rid of whatever's left of the mistake."
"I taught you well."
"So will you do it?"
"I don't know. I took the ball for you last time you and I got into trouble."
"C'mon Manda', just be damn real with me here." I say. "It's a yes or no question. I got other friends who'd be willing to do this for me but I called you because you're my sister and I trust you and I haven't heard from you in three months-"
"Alright, alright, you asshole. Don't need to get mushy with me, Christ." I hear her walking. On pebbles. I can hear that shuffle and grit sound. "When do you want me to be there?"
I look at the clock above my door. "At 9 PM sharp tonight."
"You're in some deep fucking conspiracy here, churbz."
"I'm gonna take that as a yes."
"Yeah, yeah. See ya in a few."
And just like that, the call ends. I drop my phone on my table and eye it for a few minutes. Amanda's out of juvy. Amanda, my fourth oldest sister out of the five sisters I have, is out of juvy. Shit, can you imagine the property damage that comes with this kind of news? She's gonna unleash hell onto the streets. Literally. And she's gonna do it anonymously and amazingly. Because she hates everyone and everything and her life goal is to literally cause my father agony. And she somehow managed to drag me into it when she was only 13 and I was 12. Those chocolate bars from the local convenience store didn't steal themselves, you know?
I decide that it's about time to head to class.
After all, I managed to weave off the Sophia Rodriguez situation and talk to the reason I've grown up two-faced. Well, Amanda isn't the only reason. I'm sure, though it should sicken me to the core, that all my sisters play a part in who I've become.
I don't think about it much before grabbing my phone and leaving the room.
Classes breeze by quickly. Then again, given the condition I'm in, it's no wonder the world feels like one giant ticking time bomb. Hours boil down to minutes, minutes boil down to seconds. I can practically hear the clock ready to detonate in my face. I thought having sex would relieve my stress, not replace it with more! It's the last period before recess. A time I should be happy about. Instead I only dread what'll come during lunch, because I definitely have no doubt that Aaron has already told his friends about what happened last night. The very thought aggravates me, hell it makes me wanna punch him in the goddamn face! But it's also expected. And, unfortunately, it is to my own fault. So fuck me for being the biggest idiot on the planet!
The bell jolts me out of my subconscious. In a haze, I gather all my things, dump them into my bag and make a dash for the exit. If I'm lucky, I'll get to my locker and then to the library without having to deal with anyone or anything. But looking at my odds, I doubt I'd even get five steps into the hallway without being completely bombarded by a herd of elephants. Who cares where they came from? The universe likes making shitty things happen to random people.
Thankfully, a dozen steps into the hallway and there are no signs of elephants, but I do get the feeling that I'm being watched. The very sensation causes me to turn around. Big mistake.
A group of jocks are hustled together by the water fountain. Among them is Ken. I can see them whispering to each other, laughing, snorting and being completely inappropriate. I can also see them looking at me. Looking at me with that sneer. That predatorial look that would put a rapist's stare to shame. I don't have to be a genius to know why they're looking at me. Aaron did it. He told his friends. And his friends told their friends. Every jock probably knows now. Or the male ones at least. Turning around, I force myself to remain completely neutral. I saw Ken's face right before turning. I know how he's feeling now. Like shit. Like the guy who'd just been dumped for the school's top runner. But shit, Ken, you know I'm not like that.
Sighing, I make my way to my locker. As casually as possible. From the back, I can hear a few of those jocks separating.
And a few of them following me.
This is just gonna get annoying. They wanna confront me? Shit, I can't exactly blame them. To determine the truth of a rumor, it's best to confront the source of it other than the one who told it to you. Which, in this case, is me. I'm the source. At this point, the only thing I can do is remain completely vague because they'll know if I lie. I have no alibi. And without an alibi, lying will be like putting myself on fire. Completely worthless.
A few more steps to my locker. Until then, don't turn around.
And it works. For a while. Until someone grabs my elbow and pulls me into the girl's bathroom. I stumble slightly from the force before realizing that whoever pulled me probably wants to confront me too. And she's a girl, judging from the location in which she's decided to confront me at. So it must be a gossip-hungry reporter or... one of Aaron Mackoy's fangirls. I take in a breath, readying myself for the bomb I know I'm gonna have to drop, and turn around.
But the girl standing on the other end isn't who I expect at all.
"So," She says, her arms crossed firmly below her chest. "Care to explain to me why Aaron's bragging about sleeping with the acting leader of the Blow-Away gang?"
I stare at her, unable to form words. Unable to respond with anything more than an ego-shattering admission of guilt. "Tahlia-"
"You know, when you called last night, I thought-" She hesitates, looking down at the ground for a moment, contemplating her answer like she's afraid I'll take it the wrong way. "-I knew something was up. You sounded- Hell, you sounded drunk. Must've finally opened those bottles you've been saving up in your room, huh?" It's embarrassing that she knows that. "But if I'd known you were that drunk... Drunk enough to call Aaron, of all people!" She looks at me incredulously.
"Tahlia, you can't say anything that I haven't already said to myself." I sigh into my hands and shake my head roughly. "I didn't mean for what happened last night to go the way it did. Trust me."
She tenses. "Then why did it?"
"Why?" I fumble around for my words. "I don't know! Because I was overwhelmed with this crazy amount of stress and-"
"Bullshit. It doesn't matter how stressed out you were, you know sleeping with Aaron would bring about so much complications." She states.
I glare at her. "Yeah but well fuck it, Tahlia, you were clearly busy with someone else, so I had to look at my options and I was too pissed off to see sensible reason!" I let out an exasperated cry and throw my hands in the air. This is just one big pile of teenage shit. I hate it. Makes me can't wait to get out of this hellhole and start going to college.
I walk in a circle around the room and glance at Tahlia, wondering why she hasn't said anything yet or why she even decided to have this conversation in the bathroom of all places. I mean, she didn't even bother to check if any of the stalls were occupied.
"I was your first choice, huh?" She sounds smug.
I laugh spitefully and throw her a glare. "I didn't call you at 2 AM to ask if you wanted to share a fucking pretzel, Tahlia. What do you expect?"
Her impassive expression finally breaks into one of pure amusement. I don't know whether to relax or get tense, because I have mixed feelings about her knowing I actually cared enough to make her my first choice. She connects our gazes, and I have to hold my breath at the intensity of her blue eyes. She asks, "So you were jealous?"
I furrow my brows. "What?"
"You were jealous. You said you called me, but got pissed when it became apparent that I was 'busy'." She grins like a cat toying with a mouse. And it annoys me to think that I'm the mouse. "Admit it, Amber. You were jealous."
I roll my eyes, refusing to admit or deny anything. Seriously, Tahlia. How can one come from accusing to seducing?
"Whatever, Tahlia." I brush her off with a flick of my wrist and make my way past her to get to the door. The conversation is over, from what I can tell. And I don't want to dally here any longer than I have to. Before I can leave however, Tahlia grabs me by the wrist, spins me around and pins me against the wall next to the door, completely helpless and quite frustrated. "Tahlia!"
"What?" She shoots me an innocent look.
I respond by rolling my eyes. "What the hell are you doing?"
"You didn't admit it, gorgeous. And I'm not letting you go-" She tightens her grip on my wrists that she's pinned up above my head. I squirm underneath her hold. "-until you say it out loud."
I laugh. "Needy, aren't we?"
"All too much." She grins at me, baring all of her pearly whites. Normally, I'd threaten her out of her hold and leave the scenario unscathed (because she and I both know I will always have the upperhand), but an idea decides to fabricate in my head. An idea that just might save me from all this irritable drama. That, and me deciding to let Tahlia have her fun this time, results in me giving in. Just this once.
"Okay, Tahlia." I say, leaning forward slightly to look her straight in the eyes. I can practically feel her melting like putty in my hands. "I'll do it. But first, you have to promise to help me with this annoying Aaron situation."
She nods. "I'd be willing to anyways."
"Fine." I purse my lips, roll my eyes and say, "I was jealous."
"Of?"
"Of the fucking slut you were banging, you dick. Now let me go or I'll kick your damn ass."
Tahlia laughs, but she keeps true to her word. She releases me, allowing me to rub my wrists and glare up at her weakly. Snorting at her childish grin, I turn around and leave the bathroom, with her trailing softly behind me. I don't make it far before the swarm of jocks who were following me before corners me. And at first, I don't expect it. I don't expect it because it's too sudden and too quick. One second, the hallway carves a path for me to my locker. The second, these muscled-brain idiots stand in the middle of that path. I stumble back a bit from shock.
"Hey Cassion." One of them, who I think is called Jamie, nods his head at me. He's a typical jock with that short brunette haircut and the typical varsity jacket around his huge body. The one thing that gets me about him is his ears. They're unusually large even for a tall male. "We heard some interesting news about you and Mackoy."
It takes me a while to notice Ken in this group. He's by the back, not exactly participating in the conversation. But he's present. And his eyes are on me.
I look straight into Jamie's eyes when I speak. "And where'd you hear it from? Aaron himself?"
"Doesn't matter." He says. "All that matters is if it's true." He cocks his head slightly and plasters on this smug snarl no doubt for intimidation purposes. "So, is it? Are you and Mackoy banging?"
Classy. I vouch for a disgusted gasp before shaking my head. "I don't sleep with my friends, Jamie." Jamie looks confused that I called him Jamie. Did I get the name wrong? Oh well, too late now. "For all I know, Aaron probably made this up because I keep rejecting him. But you guys know me better." I raise an eyebrow at the group.
For a moment, it looks like it's working. Even Ken looks relieved to hear it. But then someone behind Jamie pipes up. "Where were you last night then?"
I grit my teeth and force my body not to tense up. I've done this for years now – Practicing, pretending, faking. Like Juliet, who has to constantly fake being normal, I'm constantly faking being damn friggin innocent all the time. That kind of self-restraint and control granted me the skills to perform even the hardest of acts. I once fooled a police officer into believing a bear came out from the woods and attacked me to avoid him catching me and Amanda smoking weed in the far end of the forest. He believed it. And we got away clean free.
I throw a glance at Tahlia behind me, who has yet to make a move since the boys appeared in front of us. I silently hope to God that she'll go along with whatever I say. Because she can be pretty dense sometimes and Lord knows I'm gonna need the help. I raise a hand and thrust my thumb in her direction. "I was with her."
I see their faces go hard with uncertainty. So I turn it up a little. I reach into my pocket and fumble around for my phone. "I called her at like, what, 2AM?" I turn to her for confirmation, and thankfully, she nods. Twice. "So she headed over to my room and stayed for about an hour."
"What were you two doing?" Jamie's blatant question doesn't leave much room for suspicion. Then again, these are boys. And they probably know Tahlia's into chicks.
But then I feel her taking a step forward beside me. Tahlia taking the initiative? Rare. Not impossible, but rare. "We were working on our oral projects." I turn to her with approval, only because that excuse is probably the best one she could've chosen. Not just because Mr. Kenway is a huge ass when it comes to orals and loves to torture us constantly with his way of grading, but also because it's the one thing everybody's been stressing out on lately. Everybody who's in Mr. Kenway's class, that is. Jamie is in Mr. Kenway's class. And a few of his other buddies too.
"Want more proof?" I pull my phone out of my pocket and search for my call history. Aaron's number is still at the top. But I had my phone hacked earlier on this year (for escape and dodge reasons, like this one right here) so I can literally delete the call to Aaron with one simple push of a button. Once I'm sure there're no traces that could lead me back to him, I flip the phone around and shove it towards Jamie's face. "My last call is to Tahlia. And it's at 2.16. I didn't see Aaron last night. So how the hell could he have 'banged' me if I never saw him?"
Their expressions are enough to tell me that they're convinced. I stuff my phone back in my pocket and shrug. "Sorry to break it to you. But those rumors are false."
Ken's face lifts.
"Damn." Jamie says, scratching the back of his neck. "Sorry then. Mackoy was really confident this time. We just thought-"
"Yeah, well, maybe you'd think twice before believing the words of a boy who cheated on his girlfriend." Harsh, I know. But I have to launch the finishing blow. Or they'll still have doubts. Sides Aaron's a dick for even telling people about this after he saw how uncomfortable I was at the idea, so he deserves this much at least.
Jamie nods and backs away, ushering his guys to do the same. "You're right, Cassion." He throws me a grin. "If you want him beat up-"
"No." I say. "It's fine. He's still a friend." And then I smile. "But thanks for the offer, Jamie."
"It's... Pryce, actually." He says. "Matthew Pryce."
Matthew Pryce. How the hell did I get from that to Jamie?
"Oh, sorry." I mutter apologetically. He flicks his wrist as a gesture that he's fine with it. As he and his buddies turn to leave, I catch Ken throwing me one last glance. In his eyes I can see relief. But I can also see doubt. Because he knows how good I am at acting, and he also knows how twisted the other side of me has become. Put two and two together and you get four – Ken knows. Maybe he doesn't know everything, but he knows something's up. The hurt in his eyes prove it. Before I'm able to justify what I've done however, he turns his head and leaves.
My eyes fall down to the ground, and I stare harshly at the grey and silver tiled floor below me. Here's the number of fucks I give to what those jocks think about me now; Zero. But Ken's a different story. He's always been a different story and I'm not heartless enough to deny that or pretend it's not there. I have to make it right with Ken, but I have to time it well. Because if I tell him too early, he might take it the wrong way. Sighing and deciding that it's about time for me to finally goddamnit relax, I turn around to face Tahlia and smile.
"Thanks."
She laughs. "You're welcome. Though it looks like you didn't actually need me. That proof thing with your phone blew those jerks out of the water."
I shrug and feign ignorance. "Yeah, it was just the spur of the moment, you know. Totally didn't plan it out or anything."
"Right." She grabs my arm and drags me down the corridor towards the cafeteria. "Well, that 'spur of the moment' shit probably just defused a bomb. Hell, it probably rewrote the code to initiate a backfire sequence. Meaning, this rumor is gonna erase itself what with you telling those jocks your side of the story."
"That's what I was going for." I say cheekily.
Tahlia nudges me on the arm and shakes her head. "But seriously – No more one-night stands with Aaron Mackoy, okay?" And then she leans down and whispers into my ear, "Next time you feel kinky, I will be available."
I glance up at her. She wasn't available the first time and she knows she made a huge mistake by that. But then again, me getting slightly drunk and wanting someone to warm my bed is a one-time thing. This has only ever happened once before last night, and that was when Anna took me to a college party and got me drunk last year. I barely remembered it, and I swear the guy and I only kissed – It is still cheating, I know, but I never told Ken because Anna warned me against it. And Anna is- Well shit, she was the queen bee of the house at that time so I abided. I kept it from him. Even till now. It was a stupid mistake. Just like this one.
But instead of telling her all that, I reply with a casual, "Sure, Tahlia. And maybe next time when you feel kinky, you can go screw yourself instead of another mindless goddamn slut."
She laughs, and pulls her jacket further up her shoulders. "See this, gorgeous, is why I love you."
So, I've decided to put a deadline on this! Every week on Friday, I will post up a chapter. I've decided that, with this, at least I won't tell myself 'Oh, don't worry. You can write it tomorrow. You have time.' Pfst. Jerk.
With this, hopefully I can... eradicate the short bursts of laziness and writer's block that has taken over my writing life. Hopefully. So instead of like, three chapters every two months or so, it'd be one chapter every week. But because I'm still on my holiday this week and next week, I'll post more continuously for the next few days. Once I'm done, I'm gonna instantly post it up. But when school starts, I'll make Friday my deadline for this story (And Drop Dead Gorgeous after).
Also, don't mind the flow of where this story is going. It'll all connect soon enough. Apologies for all the swear words as well! When Amber is frustrated, she is frustrated. Haha, kudos guys! Thanks for the reviews :D
-K