We give thanks to our government, the one that never fails

To keep the trains we need for travel often off the rails.

On different lines each weekend, buses take up all the slack.

It's taken twenty years to still not get things back on track.

The subject drives the journalists to rail on with complaints,

While sleepers who should bear the load wear out, while someone paints

Our stadium for those who'll watch the one off sports event

That robbed the railway budget. Now the money's all been spent.

The tardiness of trains for years was paid off, since all's fare

(For one day free), which drew such crowds who went from here to there,

Congesting trains with long delays all over this wide state,

And setting brand new records of how much they could be late.

To keep the windows closed, they splashed some glue around with care,

And suffocated passengers, by cutting off the air,

To keep it hot in summer, with no chance to catch a breeze,

And stop the germs from blowing out, so colds would make them sneeze.

From Granville up to Glenbrook, you might well end up deceased,

In spite of double deckers phasing out the old red beast.

To add some new adventure, city tunnels had a leak

Of gas, that kept the services off line at least a week.

With all this going on, they still make everyone's heart bounce,

By turning up the speakers every station to announce

That sliding doors (as if we didn't know) are going to shut;

And still they say that drivers should avoid the freeway rut.

Despite the use of timetables and indicator board,

Announcements at a frequency, which cannot be ignored

Will tell us where the train will stop. One cannot concentrate

On reading any book at all, through such a noisy spate.

They even run this racket in the carriage designated:

A quiet carriage, making people much more irritated,

With lengthy sets of rules announced, of what you cannot do.

If they'd shut up, it WOULD be quiet, fully, through and through.

With one train every hour to reach the semi-rural fringe,

It's hardly any wonder that a local drinking binge

Then leads to drunken driving and the random breathing test;

With public transport calling out for funding to invest.

The trains are now patrolled by quite a few commuter cops,

Which won't improve the services, or cut down lengthy stops.

My train of thought's exhausted. Will the train on platform four

Please get back on the tracks? (Or have you heard that gag before?)