"The Simulated Life"
(by Emerald A.E. Behrens)

I moved to a new town, in a new neighborhood, to start a new life.

I started things out simply and barely had enough for a new house with a few pieces of furniture which were mostly cheap folding chairs that made my back hurt, along with a plastic table, a bed and a cheap nightstand for light with a cheap toilet that always over-flooded.

I knew I had to start at the bottom and work my way up but I had no way of knowing how long that would take me or if I would make any money soon. As it was, I had only snacks to eat as I had to learn the long and arduous process of cooking with only a microwave and a cheap stove.

I had to get books and a bookcase in order to learn new skills but forgot I also needed money for smoke detectors, as I soon found out when the cheap stove somehow caught on fire. Luckily I managed not to panic and put out the fire before the firefighters came.

In-between my looking for a job in the newspaper, which came every morning, and learning new skills such as cooking and mechanics, I would get strange phone calls in the middle of the day. One caller asked me what color my living room walls were and when I said, "Gray" they replied that it was the wrong color scheme for me and hung up.

It was hard to find a job and the newspaper didn't have many choices. In order to find a better job I would have to invest in a computer and look online, which would also cost me more money. I unsuccessfully tried a job as a waiter from the classifieds but was fired the same day. This left me feeling depressed and I was not able to find another job for a few days.

I sold my stove for less than what I bought it for and got a computer to look for a better job. My health wasn't so good by now as I was hardly eating well but I managed to have enough energy to apply for a position as an entry-level mechanic, which I had studied for with my few books in the bookcase. I would start the next day.

My life wasn't very interesting, I didn't even watch TV or listen to the radio but that was mostly due to the fact that I couldn't afford it. I read all the books in my library already, so it didn't keep me entertained and I was very bored.

Oddly enough, there were no people in my neighborhood other than the paperboy who would deliver my newspaper every morning. I saw no one walking on the sidewalk or driving around here. Since I was the only house on the block, I gathered that this was a new developing neighborhood yet the emptiness of the place left me bewildered and very lonely.

After twelve grueling hours of the new job I came back home utterly exhausted and only had time to eat before I nearly fell over from exhaustion. My mood was in terrible shape and I had a feeling I was getting sick, since I had very little energy left.

Then one morning I got a phone call, after I ran like mad trying to answer it, nearly missing my carpool for work. The caller said I had inherited money from an estranged family member and now had 500 to add to my account. I was overjoyed and it improved my mood slightly. I decided I would buy a new stove, a better bookcase with more books and a chemistry lab to improve my skills for a better job.

The next day I was promoted as a part-time mechanic, due to the fact that I was proficient in mechanic skills and was adding logic skills from my chemistry lab that I had bought. I was eating better now because I was cooking more with my new stove and even had enough to invest in an automatic food chopper which saved me a lot of time and energy. My new selection of books I had bought provided more entertainment and with the new chemistry lab I was making a new potion to improve my mood. Things were going very well for me.

Unfortunately, this streak of good luck was too good to be true. In the middle of the night a burglar came into my house and stole my chemistry lab and of all things, my bookcase. I managed to sleep through the event only because I didn't have the foresight to buy a security alarm since I hadn't thought of someone trying to steal the very few belongings I had.

In the morning I was in a foul mood but slogged through the job to get another promotion as a "Monkey Wrench Mechanic", meaning that I was now an assistant mechanic. Although the work was rewarding the hours weren't as regular as I had hoped and one time they had me working until 11 p.m., which left me exhausted again.

Wanting more money and a better job in my field, I logged onto the computer (luckily the burglar hadn't stolen this) and saw a job for a lab guinea pig that paid quite well for only a few hours. I applied immediately and quit my job as a mechanic. At 3 p.m. I would go to the lab and work until 6 p.m.

When I came home I was stunned to find that another house had been built across from mine. However, I was looking forward to meeting my new neighbors and even cooked a dinner just in case I would meet up with them. That evening though, no one came around and I ate my dinner alone.

My new job paid less but I was expecting another promotion soon and bought another chemistry lab, along with a new security alarm and even a small radio to entertain me. I was feeling hopeful for the future.

That morning I received a call from work, saying that I had been promoted as a lab assistant but I had to start work immediately and didn't have time to have breakfast but had to catch my carpool right then and there. I didn't come back home until 7 p.m.

Utterly exhausted I got home and ate a small snack but I was still starving when I went to bed and woke up in the middle of the night to cook some food. At around midnight, I got another strange phone call, a prank phone call with a strange riddle in it. I hung up feeling perplexed. Who were these strange people calling me?

In the morning I got ready for work, cooking breakfast and wondering if I should make-over my house and interior. My bathroom was rather shabby and with my better job, I could afford to re-do it all and maybe have a small garden. I probably wouldn't have time to keep up with the garden but I could always hire a gardener to care for it. I left for work feeling better than I had all week and was curious about my new neighbor across the street whom I hadn't seen yet.

While I was at work my whole house had been re-done. The outside of the house had new stucco covering and new tiled roofing which made it look like a Tuscan bungalow instead of the cheap aluminum siding I once had. A new stone walkway had been put in and my windows were upgraded from the single-pane wooden frames to new energy efficient two-pane frames.

More lights were put in my house with lush blue carpeting and linoleum flooring in the newly remodeled kitchen. I now had a stainless steel stove, fridge and a dining set instead of the cheap plastic table and chair I started out with.

The bathroom was re-done as a new water efficient self-flushing toilet was installed, along with a tiled shower and new flooring.

Most of all, I was happy with the garden outside which had to be watered but as I was making more money as a lab assistant, I could afford to pay a gardener who came every other day.

My life was complete except for the fact that I had no friends and I was very lonely as I made dinner but as luck would have it, the doorbell rang and I went to answer it, hoping it was my new neighbor. It was, however, instead of the family I had expected to meet there was only a little girl.

We introduced ourselves and she came into my house, immediately helping herself to the food I had made which I was happy to share. We talked for a bit, mostly about her interests such as video games and cartoons while I exchanged a bit of science with her and showed her my bookcase. She wasn't very interested in it and complained that there was very little entertainment for her (also no place for her to sit since I hadn't bought a couch).

She waved goodbye and went home while I thought about acquiring a game of chess, a better stereo system and while I was at it, I could even take up painting while improving my creativity skills which would also come in handy for my job since I was required to improve my logic, mechanic and creativity skill set.

I went to bed with my new goals in mind.

When I got up in the morning I was happy to see that everything I wanted was provided for, already set up in my house. In the corner near the window was a paint easel near the chemistry lab where I had just finished my potion. Across from the dining room was a new stereo set and next to that was a chess set with chairs for playing.

I left for work happy and optimistic. My life was finally coming together.

At work I was promoted again but now had to deal with the fact that my social skills were severely lacking. I couldn't move up the work ladder without more friends and often times I was very lonely, even crying, because there was no one for me to talk to.

I got home late, around 9 p.m. and decided to give my young neighbor a call. Her name was Cassie and I was surprised that she answered the phone, I thought it might be too late for her to talk but she asked to come over. Apparently her parents didn't mind her being out so late at night.

Cassie came over and I showed her the new stereo set which I danced to but she quickly lost interest so I decided we should play a game of chess. An hour later I realized we hadn't had dinner and with my being so engrossed in our chess game, I completely forgot about my nutritional need levels which were very low now.

However, Cassie said it was past her bedtime and she needed to get home. I waved goodbye to her, cooked my dinner and ate it alone then went to bed.

If I didn't get more neighbors soon, I wouldn't meet more people and wouldn't have any friends. Was I destined to be a lab assistant forever?

The next day when I came home from work (this time at 7 p.m.) I received a shock. Cassie had called me when I was about to cook dinner and had invited me over to her house. I was thrilled! Finally, I would meet her parents and have more friends. However, when I got to her house I was very disappointed, not to mention totally perplexed.

It turned out Cassie lived alone and had no parents.

I wondered how she could live in a house alone with no parents. How did she cook, clean and take care of the household? How did she manage to do her schoolwork? Worse yet, what if there was a fire or a burglar came to the house? She did have smoke and security alarms but it still concerned me.

Her house was very plain and didn't have the many toys a normal child would have such as video games, an aquarium, or other things that would keep a child occupied. She did have a bookcase and a radio but that was all. I wondered if she was lonely. She helped herself frequently to snacks in the fridge and I was worried she wasn't eating enough and that her nutrition levels were low.

We talked for a bit and I managed to bring her a gift of fruit cake which she ate hungrily. I reminded her to wash her hands so she could keep her hygiene levels up. I took out the trash and helped stomp out some of the roaches that came into the house, so that improved the environment some.

She told me she also received strange phone calls at odd hours during the day. I asked her how she studied for school and she told me she kept up her reading but that her grades were failing. I suggested she get a better computer and that I could help her with her logic skills by playing chess with her.

Afterwards it was getting late and I said goodbye and went home, still worried about Cassie and how she was living. I decided I should invite her over more and though it didn't help my social skills much or help promote me in my job, I wanted to help Cassie.

No other neighbors had moved into our neighborhood.

In the morning I looked at the chemistry lab and noticed the potion I had made some days ago. It had turned color from blue to red and I was concerned about what it would do now but being the experimental person that I am, I downed the bottle and then fell to the floor in agony. A terrible pain racked through my body and when I woke up, I was not alone.

My clone stood next to me.

I got up and tried to strike up a conversation with my clone which had been a result of the potion I made. But the clone ignored me and went straight to the fridge, helping himself to some food while leaving a mess of garbage when he was done. I cleaned it up, wondering if this clone was supposed to resemble me at all.

As I was getting ready to go to bed, the clone made another terrible mess, this time soiling himself because he couldn't get to the bathroom in time. I stayed up until 1 a.m. cleaning up the mess he made. Just as I wondered if I was supposed to be friends with this clone, he doubled up in pain screaming nonsense and then-he disappeared! Apparently the clone's lifespan wasn't meant to be very long and I was disappointed in the result of the potion. Finally at 2 a.m. I went to bed and got up for work the next day.

I decided instead of using a chemistry lab to improve my logic skills I would get a telescope which would be less troublesome.

When I came back from work, my chemistry lab was gone and a telescope was outside waiting for me. I cooked dinner and called Cassie, wanting to show her my new telescope but for some reason when she answered she was very upset, yelling and screaming at me, before she hung up. I had no idea what I did to upset her but I ate my dinner and then went outside to try out my telescope.

I gazed at the stars for a short while but then something strange happened. There was a sudden flash of light and that's all I remember.

At 3 a.m. the next day I woke up outside, absolutely befuddled but went back inside the house to get what sleep I could before work. Unfortunately, I forgot to set my alarm clock and missed my carpool, having slept in. I received a phone call later that day with a warning that if I missed one more day of work I would be fired.

I spent the rest of the day finishing a painting which I sold for 50 and called Cassie that afternoon when she got back from school. We ate a meal together and she was in a much better mood. We played chess as I improved my logic skills and was entertained. I tried to dance with her while we listened to music but she didn't seem to like dancing much. She was hungry again and I decided to order a pizza for us to eat and gave her a gift of a plate of cookies which she enjoyed very much.

At 9 p.m. she wanted to go home to sleep and we waved goodbye to each other before I decided it was time for me to sleep too. I brushed my teeth and took a shower which improved my hygiene levels and had a good night's sleep, this time remembering to set my alarm.

I did not get a promotion. I haven't made enough friends.

I bought a robot to keep me company and entertained and also to help with the cooking and cleaning. Unfortunately, the robot kept breaking down a lot but with my mechanical skills I managed to fix him. It was nice having some company even if it wasn't quite alive. The robot could clean and juggle balls which I found clever and applauded.

With a stable job and income I thought about expanding my house but with no friends to come over, I wondered if it was worth it. I experimented with different decor in my house, adding more artwork and some potted plants along with more comfortable furniture such as leather chairs and a better bed for me to sleep in which helped my energy levels.

I called Cassie to ask her over but she wasn't home. I wondered how she was doing in school and if a family would move into the neighborhood with kids for her to play with. I also wanted to see if I could adopt Cassie and help take care of her but for some reason I was unable to do this.

The next day I learned that Cassie had been shipped to military school because she had missed school too many times and her grades had suffered, mostly because she played video games on the computer instead of studying.

This news left me feeling depressed and I stopped going to work. I fired my gardener and the plants in my yard died, which didn't improve my environment levels at all. I stopped brushing my teeth and showering, so my hygiene levels dropped and I didn't bother cleaning up after myself so it made more work for the robot which broke down often. I was getting frustrated every time I had to fix it.

I had a strange urge to sell everything and got rid of all I had possessed, including my robot. I did buy a strange painting though, of an ugly sad clown that gazed at me from the wall.

This did not improve my mood at all and when I woke up in the middle of the night, I found a strange clown in my bedroom trying to entertain me by juggling. I didn't want this clown near me and I certainly didn't want him juggling balls at three o'clock in the morning. But he wouldn't stop and then sometimes the clown would cry which made my mood even worse.

I wasn't sleeping and my energy levels were getting worse. I had no idea how to make this stupid clown go away. I got rid of my phone and was stranded with no way to get out of my house. How did my life get so bad all of a sudden?

With everything good in my life gone, I had gotten too depressed. My mood levels were at an all-time low and with my energy being the way it was, I collapsed in exhaustion. With no more food around me, I found my nutrition levels dropping dangerously low. Before I knew it I was close to death.

Then one day, death appeared before me, dressed in a cloak and carrying a scythe. At this point I didn't care if I lived or died but death decided to make me an offer and we played rock-paper-scissors to see if I would live or die.

I won.

Death disappeared and I was left alone but now saw that there was a phone on the wall. The stupid clown was around somewhere and when I picked up the phone I saw an option to call for the Clown Catcher who I called immediately.

The Clown Catcher came and got rid of the stupid depressing clown and my mood improved tremendously. I was also very hungry and so decided to order a pizza.

I had no idea what was going to happen to me as things suddenly appeared and disappeared in my house but seeing as I was alive now, having won against death, I decided I better finish out whatever role I had to play in this strange game of life.