I used to draw looks
Nose in the air or nose in a book
I was twelve and he was seventeen
"You're the hottest girl I've ever seen"
It didn't feel like a compliment
As he became increasingly adamant
"If you don't love me it isn't worth it
If you don't love me I will forfeit"
I only fucked him to inspire jealousy
To push until you screamed breathlessly
That he had no right to me
You were right
But as I grew old and my body burned
I knew your claim to me was equally unearned
You sought impossible possession
And in return garnered my unconditional affection
And when she declared me enemy
I drowned endlessly
And for years the bile and blood seethed
Felt like screaming every time I breathed
But I survived
My desirability is no longer unanimous
My goal is simply to be magnanimous
I never anticipated the day might come
I thought that all was said and done
So when I saw you I thought I would die
But again, I survived.