Life According To Dogs(And Cats)
Whoever owns a pet and is a writer probably knows how many stories the little(or big) guys inspire. Even their little day to day activities can create the little spark of inspiration that breaks you out of the dreaded enemy called Writer's Block.
Thanks to my three dogs(Angel, Tweedledum, and Jack) and my two cats, (Fluffy and Licorice), I bring you a delightful series of oneshots called Life According To Dogs(And Cats)!
To start things off, the Fabulous Five discuss a subject pondered since the beginning of time. What is the meaning of life? Of course, with five different and extremely wacky personalities, the meaning of life takes on a whole new meaning.
"Hey, guys." Licorice, a small black cat that never grew past kitten size, said as she walked in the room. "I have a question."
Jack, a white and brown Jack Russell Terrier, looked up from his dog bed, where he was chewing on his "binky," a slipper that barely looked like a slipper anymore. "Hey, Lic. What is it?"
"What's the meaning of life?"
Tweedledum, a medium-sized, brown, beagle-basset mix looked at her in surprise from his place on the couch. "Where did THAT question come from?"
Licorice shrugged. "I was in the catnip patch and it just came to me. Probably because Dragonsrule wanted to start her new story out with a bang…"
"Hey, we're really not supposed to break the fourth wall, you know." Angel, a black and white brindled…something…commented as she walked into the living room, dragging a destroyed box of K-cups.
Jack snorted. "Since when do YOU care about rules?"
"Umm, never mind…" Angel mumbled, embarrassed. "So what were we talking about again?"
"The meaning of life." Tweedledum told her. "Personally, I think…"
A loud scratching at the door interrupted him. "Hey, let me in!" a gruff voice called from outside.
"Humans aren't home, Fluff!" Jack called to the Siamese. "You gotta come in the back way!"
Grumbling, Fluffy complied, entering through the doggy door on the other side of the house. Entering the living room, he asked, "Why are you guys all doing in one room?"
"We're discussing the meaning of life." Licorice told him.
He gave her a weird look. "Why?"
"Because. Now, I believe Tweedle was saying something…"
"What? Oh, yeah." Tweedledum cleared his throat. "Personally, I think the meaning of life is getting attention. Petting, cuddles, belly rubs, wrestling with my human…that's the meaning of life. Oh, and food too. Dog kibble, biscuits, doggie doughnuts, carrots, human food…" he was drooling at the thought.
"No, Tweedle, the REAL meaning of life is being in charge." Fluffy stated, giving the beagle-basset a weird look. "I get to do whatever I want whenever I want to do it. My human is putty in my paws. Whenever I purr or give her my silent meow, she gives me anything I ask for. Plus, I'm the boss of all of you." Fluffy said proudly. The others glared at him but didn't argue. Fluffy DID have a mean right swat after all…
"I have to disagree with you, Fluffy." Angel told him hesitantly. "I think the meaning of life is to be sweet and playful and kind." Her eyes took on a mischievous glint. "And to get into everything when the humans aren't looking."
"I have no clue why they named you Angel." Tweedledum mumbled.
Jack jumped up. "You're all wrong!" he exclaimed. He ran to the bedroom, then emerged carrying something in his mouth. Dropping it in front of the group, he gave a doggy grin. "THIS is the meaning of life." He gestured to his favorite toy, a orange and blue Chuck-It.
Tweedledum gave him a funny look. "Jack, it's just a ball."
Jack glared at him. "How dare you say it's just a ball! This is a lifetime of happiness and fun, not to mention all the attention I want, packed into a convenient and bouncy spherical form!" His stub of a tail started wagging furiously. "Inside this ball is everything that makes our country great! Friendship! Family values! Hours and hours of playing fetch!"
Fluffy gave the cat's equivalent of a shrug. "Ookay…"
"Can I play with the meaning of life?" Angel asked eagerly.
Jack growled, scooping up his ball. "NO! IT"S MINE! ALL MINE!" He took it to his bed, daring anyone to come closer.
Angel pouted. "Fine! I'll play with my…whatever the heck this is!" She picked up her own favorite toy, a neon green indestructible dog chew toy that looked like a mutant tennis, and carried it back to the bedroom.
Fluffy rolled his eyes, well as much as a cat could. "Well since Jack Jack's being psychotic again and Angel has a REALLY short attention span, does that mean this conversation's over?"
Licorice sighed. "It would appear so."
"Good." Fluffy said, getting up. "Now that that's all settled, I'm going to go take out that lizard invading MY yard."
"So, Licorice, did you get the answer to your question?" Tweedledum asked as Fluffy walked away.
Licorice gave the cat's version of a shrug. "I…don't know. It seems the meaning of life is different to everyone."
Tweedle gave her a wise doggy smile. "And that, my dear Licorice, is the meaning of life."
Hoped you all liked this! Please review!