It started with a one-night-stand.
"Do you want to go somewhere quiet?" I whispered huskily, allowing my breath to hit her ear.
She gazed up at me through glimmering blue eyes, filled with a mixture of excitement and uncertainty.
Well, technically it started before then, but that night was what put all my problems into hyper-drive. It was what ruined everything.
Taking my hand tentatively, her palm warm and clammy, she followed me towards the staircase.
She was just a girl; not a cheerleader or a party girl. Needless to say, she wasn't my type. She was just some timid, studious girl with whom I somehow sparked an unexpected friendship. But Harrison was convinced that it was turning into something more, no matter how avidly I denied it.
My heart beat faster as we walked down the dark hallway towards an empty bedroom.
Why did I let him pressure me so easily? If I had just stuck to my resolve and went on with my life, I never would have gone through with the greatest mistake of my life: that damn one-night-stand.
When we entered the room, she reached for the light switch, but I stopped her, taking her delicate hand in mine once again. A funny grin crossed her smooth, pink lips as she stared up at me curiously. I couldn't help but smile back, always feeling tickled by the sight of her dimples.
"What is it?" she asked me, giggling a little out of shyness. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, lowering her gaze and biting her lip coyly.
That was it. I couldn't help myself.
Tipping her face back up with the tip of my finger, I leaned down ever so slowly, anticipation flooding and swelling inside me.
I had never been friends – just friends – with a girl before I met her. I only ever had girlfriends or casual – for lack of a better work – fuck-buddies. But she was so different. She was the one to strike up our first conversation, and after that, I found pleasure in chatting with her about anything and everything. Weather, school, television, hobbies – you name it. I could still recall the first time we ever spoke, nearly word for word:
"Phew," she huffed, plopping down in the vacant seat beside me. She had said it loud enough to draw my attention, but quiet enough to show that she was probably talking to herself. "What a hassle!"
Amused, I turned in my chair, away from the other girl I had been talking up, and grinned at her.
"What?" I inquired, humoring both her and myself. This ought to be interesting, I thought to myself.
She looked over at me with wide eyes, as if questioning whether I was actually talking to her, and then smiled like I was an old friend.
"Oh, I just came from the theater," she began, waving her hands animatedly. I felt bad then, realizing that she actually thought I was interested. Nevertheless, I let her go on. "Apparently, the person who was supposed to make the flyers printed out five-hundred copies all with the wrong date." She laughed as if it was the funniest thing in the world, making my grin widen.
"Anyway," she went on, "they've already distributed a third of the flyers – all with the wrong date – and now the director is having a massive hissy fit."
"Wow," I replied, pretending to be in shock. "So, you're part of the production?"
She shook her head fervently, even laughing a little. "Oh, no!" she cried. "I was just passing by the music room when I heard all this shouting. I stopped in to see if everyone was alright, and then when I heard what happened, I offered to help." She then reached down and pulled a thick stack of paper out of her backpack. "See? I have to white-out the dates on these flyers and write in the correct one," she explained, acting like it was the simplest task.
"Are you kidding?" I gaped at her in actual seriousness this time. "Why would you offer to do that if you're not even involved?" It made no sense to me in the slightest. She really just popped her head in and leapt at the opportunity to help?
The girl shrugged, grinning as she prepared her desk for class. "I don't know. I just thought it would be fun."
My eyes widened even more, almost at a loss for words. "God. That sounds like the opposite of fun to me," I told her, shaking my head.
She chuckled and waved her hand, as if wiping all my worries away with just a flick of her slender wrist. "Everyone's different," she replied simply, lining up the papers into a neat and tidy stack before sliding them carefully into her backpack again.
She then seemed to forget all about me as she began flipping through her textbook. Not knowing what else to do, I turned back to the front of the room, ready to continue the conversation I was having with the cheerleader on my other side.
"So, what about you?"
I whipped back towards the quirky girl, almost startled that she was still talking to me. No girl ever spoke to me that way, asking simple questions without squeezing in dirty innuendos at every chance.
"Excuse me?" I asked, unsure of what exactly she was questioning me about.
She looked up from her book, seeming surprised that I didn't understand her question. "The production," the clueless girl said. "Are you a part of it?"
I was so taken aback by her question that I couldn't even laugh at how ridiculous it was. "What?" I uttered, amused that she would even think such a thing.
"Are you a part –" she began to repeat her question, thinking I hadn't heard her the first time, but I cut her off.
"No, I know," I said hastily. "But why would you ask me that?"
She shrugged again. "You asked me if I was part of the production, so I thought it would be polite if I asked you."
Amazing, I thought. It was a wonder how naïve she could be about my near-mockery of her peculiar personality.
"Well, no," I answered her, "I am not a part of the production." There was so much sarcasm dripping from my voice that even I had to cringe. But still, she didn't notice.
Who is this girl? I wondered, staring at her closely. She looked familiar – probably since we had at least one class together – but what was her name? Nicki? No, Jackie. Still no, though the "J" felt right. Something with a "J."
"Ooh, class is starting," she said, her voice dropping to a whisper as soon as the bell rang and the teacher walked to the front of the room.
"Well," I replied in the same, hushed tone to tease her further, "it was nice talking to you."
She smiled at me before looking up to the front. Something about that smile left me feeling strange and unfocused for the rest of the period.
That fun, quirky girl seemed to fade after that cursed night, and it was all my fault. Why did I have to take what my jackass of a best friend said to heart? What did he know about my feelings?
Constant, crystal-clear flashbacks of that night filled my head, nearly driving me to the point of insanity. It was torturous.
Our lips touched – hers hesitantly, mine hungrily – for the first time, a moment I had wondered about since I'd met her. Though I'd pushed it away, the thought had always been there, somewhere deep in my mind. But now, it had finally come to life, and it felt perfect.
When our lips broke apart, our bodies still achingly close, a mix of emotions crossed her face in just a few short seconds. A faint "oh" passed through her lips in a timid voice. Seeing her so flustered by a mere kiss made me crave more. My animal side was just waiting to burst through – to throw her down on the bed and have my way with her. But at the same time, a knot of guilt planted itself in my stomach, growing and growing the more I thought about what I was about to do. I was about to steal the innocence of the most innocent person I'd ever met. It was evil, disgusting. And with what purpose? To prove a point.
I murmured her name as my hand found her waist, tenderly leading her closer to me. Her body complied, though her face showed that her brain thought better of it.
In the end, her body won the battle, and I got what I wanted.
It was incredible, but was that really what I wanted?
In reality, I got the exact opposite: a ruined relationship and a rush of unknown feelings for the girl I was supposed to be over. That night was supposed to get her out of my system, rid my mind of any doubts I'd had about my intentions with her, but it only made everything harder.
A/N: Hello. I know I haven't worked on this story in literally years, but I decided to revise it and try to finish it. I will also be posting it on Wattpad if you'd rather read it there. Whether you're a new reader or an old supporter, I hope you enjoy!
Until next time, xoxo