3Hopeless
I was sitting there in the hospital next to my mother's bed. She was okay – I knew that – but I just had to stay. I was fidgeting, I was moving about, I had drank my weight in water, I had read a book but finally I gave up.
I just had to smoke.
My mother was asleep and I wouldn't be gone long. I was night so I didn't want to go out front so I went up a staircase to the roof. For once I was glad that I had given in.
There was a woman on the roof. On the very ledge. The toes of her shoes just hanging over the ledge. Her white hair stood out from the black night. The door banged closed behind me and she spun around. There were tears on her face. She looked so lost.
"Hi." I raised my hand slightly. Stupid! The woman was clearly suicidal and here I am saying 'hi'!
"Hello." She spoke. "Why are you up here?"
"Smoking. You?" Maybe if I act oblivious she will step away.
"I needed some air." She crossed her arms. It was windy and she had very little on.
"Who...er... I mean...?"
"Who died?" I nodded. "First my dad, then my mom, then my grandparents, my aunt, my cousin, my sister, my husband and just now my baby." Holy...
"I'm so sorry." She didn't hear me as she started crying again.
"I have no one else! I am so tired, I am surrounded by death! Everyone I love is gone – taken from me – and I want them back! I can't do this anymore!" With that she spread her arms and fell backwards.
"NO!"
"I'm sorry for your loss." The doctor said before leaving the room. How often had I heard those words. When my dad died – shot by my mom. When my mother died – hung herself in jail. My grandparents – car crash. My aunt – stroke. My cousin – robbery. My sister – cancer. My husband – drunk driver. My baby – oh god my baby.
I had only given birth to her, my little girl. I had only been able to hold her once before the nurse to her from me, saying something was wrong. She was going to be my reason to live and I didn't even get a chance to name her – to love her!
Somehow I found myself on the roof – ready to end it all. I heard a bang behind me.
"Hi." A man waved his lighter at me. He had short golden blond hair and was rather tall. I couldn't see his face because it was so dark.
"Hello." Go away. "Why are you up here?"
"Smoking. You?" Leaving this miserable existence where death laughs at me as he takes everyone that I love.
"I needed some air." I lied.
"Who...er... I mean...?"
"Who died?" I nodded. "First my dad, then my mom, then my grandparents, my aunt, my cousin, my sister, my husband and just now my baby." My voice cracked.
"I have no one else! I am so tired, I am surrounded by death! Everyone I love is gone – taken from me – and I want them back! I can't do this anymore!" I let myself go and fell backwards.
"NO!" I heard him yell.
When I woke up I just knew that fate had it in for me. It took my a moment to open my eyes. Another to focas on the figure next to my bed. Who was he? Everyone is dead.
"Your okay." He sighed in relief. He was the man from the rooftop.
"You gave me a fright when you fell." He continued as his hand clasped mine.
"I didn't fall." I whispered. He looked down for a moment. He didn't answer me.
Because he was looking at the scars on my wrists.