Hey guys, this story is going to be more random from now onwards so yeah….you can start reading now

Chapter 7: A stupid quest (by AAA)

"Well where the fu.. wait, no vulgarities" Joseph cursed as he stepped out of the shoe box portal that atomized him to get him to... falalala land? Joseph caught sight of an old man walking towards him. It took the old man 10 minutes to walk the 10 meters the two were from.

"You shall help me to get some live chickens from the chicken field nearby!" The old man said. "Why must I do so?" said Joseph. "Because you WILL help me. Your decisions are NOT yours but rather from an author who dictates what YOU WILL DO." "Ok ok... I get the idea... so one live chicken will do?" Joseph asked. He was met with a tight slap from the old man.

"GO GET MAH CHICKEN YO IDIOT" the old man shouted so loudly that it broke the fourth wall and reached out to the ends of the universe. And so... Joseph went to the chicken field to get more chicken. After 69 minutes, Joseph collected 80 live chickens and went back to the old man. "That's not enough chickens! Get me 7859999 kilograms of chickens or I'll SHOUT AGAIN!" "Well you just did..." Joseph reasoned.

"SHUT UP SMARTY PANTS!" And so, Joseph spent another 69 hours at the chicken field and collected 7859999kg worth of chickens. But the old man was still not happy. "GET ME MORE CHICKENS!" "Nope," Joseph said as he tried to walk around the old man. "NO!" the old man screamed. "YOU...SHALL...NOT...PAS..."

"Hey that's from lord of the rings!" Joseph interrupted." Before the old man could talk more rubbish, Joseph stabbed the old man with his highly enchanted sword. "Damn…You..." the old man murmured before he died.

"Well that was... a stupid ques.." Just then, another man appeared. "YOU SHALL GET..." Joseph did not hesitate. He stabbed the man repeatedly. Just before the old man died, he said "remember me from chapter 3?" "Nope" was Joseph's reply as he closed the man's eyes."Requiet in pace" Joseph said as he sent a check to Ubisoft for using that famous line in the assassin's creed 2, brotherhood and revelation series. Little does he know of a plot twist, a HUGE plot twist, coming out in chapter 11...

Chapter 8: Joseph learns a new skill (by LOWANG)

Several moments after the unfortunate death of the old man, Joseph rummaged his decaying body for anything at all that could help his predicament. Sadly, all he found were ye ole scraps of paper that said "magical" illuminati incantations "" on it.
Immediately, he sat up.

Joseph spoke in the deepest and most perverted voice" wait, I know this. Its a SPEELLL BOOK".
"Yes it is" the dead black man said, one last time before breathing his last.
Dumbfounded, Joseph treaded the wheat fields of lalala land, trying to figure out the spell book. "let's see,": forewarning:
Upon the reading of this book, you will master the arcane arts of deception, drug taking, triangle drawing, drug brewery, fire-making, learning to act dead when u aint even hurt and last but not least: revival from death.


By now you would have guessed that the old man was not dead, yes?


He can't read... Dummy


Joseph flipped to the fire-making section. Looking at the steps shown, he thoroughly replicated the moves as shown in the book.

After 69 seconds of concentration, Joseph had learnt to cast a PYROBLAST. So, Jimmy went around terrorising villagers with his mighty fireball, killing hundreds of poor villagers. Towns were ravaged in his wake; he tore down buildings, Wells, farms and weed farms, to get the attention of the illuminati gods. FaLalala land was helpless, people screamed in fear of being burnt alive and those who stood to fight got burnt anyway. They soon called joseph hell boy.

Chapter 9: Joseph does some fan fiction (by me)

The hell boy sowed chaos into the land, and soon, due to the overwhelming evil, all signs of goodness in Joseph was destroyed. All goodness in the land was destroyed. However, the ugly was not.

All around falalala land, rocks containing randomanium popped out of the land. One rock with a concentration of randomanium so high collapsed on itself, and Jerkymcjerkyson was born...
Jerkymcjerkyson had caused more terror and destruction than Joseph.

He wrecked houses with his wrecking ball, rocked everyone and worst of all, he was spreading the randomness to everyone. As Joseph saw Jerkymcjerkyson's mindless destruction, he began to see the error in his ways. However, it was too late. Jerkymcjerkyson had destroyed everything! The giant rock was besieging earth, everyone screamed... (this above part done by AAA)

."Omg, Joseph, what are you doing" said the Prophet as he saw Joseph playing with Barbie dolls. "Um...fan fiction?" Replied Joseph as he shrugged his shoulders. "*sighs*do you remember the reason I asked you to get into this shoebox?"

Asked the Prophet. "To jump into a "portal" and play with Barbie dolls?" replied Joseph as he kept playing with Barbie dolls. "*face palms*Goddammit Joseph! I already told you that the author of chapter 6 was drunk in the unseen scene that the he was too lazy to write. I even specifically told you NOT to listen to anything I say until the 7:40 am" Said the Prophet "You did? Um...I sorta forgot?" replied Joseph as he smiled sheepishly, as he still played with his Barbie dolls.

"I bet you forgot about the REAL mission too*sighs*I will let Fishy do the talking then" sighed the Prophet. "Wait, who is Fishy?" Replied a very confused Joseph. "The talking fish from chapter 2"

"What are you doing here?" quizzed Joseph

"I am a member of the "Prophecy guardians", basically the good guys." Fishy replied.

"You mean like the Prophet?" asked Joseph

"Something like that...anyways, time to get down to business..."

Chapter 10: Joseph gets an army (by Nekomeowthing)
"The mission I am gonna give u today. Is very important." Fishy said. "Now that the illuminati have discovered your powers. U can no longer remain hidden..." "Can't i just go home!?" Joseph cried out. "No. The illuminati is everywhere. U can hide but u can't hide." "Ookkkkkaayyy..." (That made so much sense) joseph thought.

"SO! We are gonna launch an assault on the regional control centre for illuminati troops. And by we I mean u. So here's a better sword Terminus Tachi take it. U are gonna need it." Fishy handed the sword over to the wide eyed Joseph. "Whoa! It's so ccooollll.

Wait a minute. I have two hands. Cant I duel wield?" "Well u can i suppose. Try it then go kill some of them sasquacks outside at the forest of swamps." "OKAY! I AM GONNA KILL THEM ALL!"
Part II
The revealing of a legend.
Joseph went into the forest. "Hyaahhh! Flurry of blades!" Yelled joseph as he swung his hands left and right in the 6 hit combo move. Quaaccckkk! The sasquack said miserably before succumbing to the rain of blades. "Well that was too easy" thought joseph.

As he was about to head back... suddenly! *boom, boom, boom, crash!* a loud sound accompanied with a massive shaking of the ground left joseph disorientated and confused. Wait whhhaaattsss gooooiiinnnggg ooonnnn!? Before long, he found the source of the commotion. Two armies were fighting nearby.

The square heads and the circle heads. Or the URSH and the DRCH. They have been engaged in a mighty battle since the DRCH accidentally drew circles in URSH territory. "AHHH! CAN U GUYS STOP FIGHTING! Yelled joseph as the noise was getting on his nerves.

NEVER! NOT UNTIL THE DRCH APOLOGISES. NO! I TOLD U IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! ACCIDENT MY FOOT! WHY IF... before the leaders could continue their bickering.

Joseph used his most powerful skill yet. Meteor strike, falling skies and rained down a 52 strike combo against both armies raining steel fire and stardust over the battlefield. ARRGGHH! SUCH POWER! HES GODLIKE! PRAISE THE SQUARINGNESS THE LEADER HAS BEEN FOUND with that both sides pledged their undying loyalty to Joseph.

Unknown triangle head person: "yesses, yess... continue growing in your power... we will get you... your power shall become ours! MUAHAHA *cough**cough**cough* SOMEONE GET ME SOME WATER!" End of 《A Fishy returns arc》

Chapter 11
Joseph vs the Illuminati. (by Nekomeowthing)

"Whoa! Someone's been busy." Fishy exclaimed in surprise. Joseph was being followed by two armies who were chanting joseph being their supreme leader. I have no idea what happened... do u happen to have a sword repairing manual?" joseph asked innocently.

"Why? Did u break your sword again?" "Nooo..." "Well never mind here's some better swords. Doom triangle and Triangle slayer. Anti-illuminati swords obviously." "WOHA! ITS EVEN MORE SHINY THEN THE SWORD I BR... Didn't break." joseph said dubiously. "Okay now go fight the illuminati theut address is one triangle street triangle drive at eye level.

Got that? Okay gud. May the guds be wif u." About 15 minutes later the illuminati forces were being trashed by joseph and his armies. Apparently triangle head people are very vulnerable to magic. While the two armies were giving the illuminati a sound trashing. Joseph went in to infiltrate the illuminati triangular hq.

He burst into the main triangular hall. "Joseph.. we have been expecting u ki ki ki..." a triangular shaped guy said in a very creepy voice "Today U become one of US! AS OUR CHOSEN ONE! Suddenly. Before joseph or the illuminati could say anything else, the head illuminati priest who didn't have a triangle shaped head burst into the hall dragging a random guy.

"WAIT joseph isn't the chosen one. It's this guy JOE!" "Wait whhhaaattt?!" Everyone exclaimed in unison.

1h earlier...

okay joe as u are a new member of illuminati u have to take this triangle test. "Can I have my cookie first? Apparently illuminati new members get a free cookie. "Yes yes after u do this test." 10seconds later "done can I have ma cookie noowww?" Said Joe impatiently.

"WHAT! HIS ILLUMINATI EYE LEVEL IS OVER 9000 he is the chosen one?! I thought joseph was the... wait...we have not read finish the prophecy….*reads prophecy* blah blah blah….meet Xiao Ming…destroy the iluminati…wait….*last lines of prophecy* Nah screw all of these, the previous sentences were all fake. It's hard to make a prophecy you know? Anyway this guys named Joe will randomly appear and beat the Illuminati up….so yeah…bye….it says Joe... In the prophecy... WE HAVE GOTTEN IT ALL WRONG! THIS GUY IS THE CHOOSEN ONE!"

(Back to the present) illuminati soldier guy "How can this be? HE looks so weak..." "Did someone call me weak…?!" Joe said threateningly while cracking his knuckles. Before anybody could understand anything. Joe went into berserk mode and started beating up all the illuminati people with a fire in his eyes and around his body.

"Whoa tyrant's fury! Such a high level skill! This guy is strong!" Then about 30 minutes of wrecking later, the triangular hq of illuminati was so destroyed not even Miley Cyrus could have done a better job. So Joe and joseph and a triumph army went back to fishy.

The score being illuminati 0 and joseph and party 1. Random secret secret triangle location. "I see the two have allied... this isnt over... its show time! They will become ours! We will claim their power and we shall rule the world! MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

An evil laugh resounded through the hidden hall of secrets. Suddenly a fly flew into the mysterious person's mouth and the evil laughter was cut off to be replaced with a choking sound. Now we know where the legend of swallowing a spider to catch a fly came from. To be continued ~ Joseph vs the Illuminati arc is closed

Chapter 11.5: Another control centre (by me)
"What do you mean there is another control centre?" Said Joseph

"Well, apparently, there are TWO control centres. One for the top organisation members to gather and the other to train the recruits. Apparently, this control centre has a LOT of floors" replied Fishy. "How am I supposed to clear all those floors?" Complained Joseph.

"I believe in your strength Joseph. Besides, you have the URSH and DRCH armies, supporting you. Run along now, the control centre does not destroy itself you know" said Fishy. "Fine..." groaned Joseph as he gathered the URSH and DRCH armies and then set forth to destroy another regional control centre.
"What about me?" Asked Joe. "You will be investigating something..." said Fishy as he briefed Joe about his mission

Chapter 12: Joseph fights the "boss" (by me)
Part one:
Destroying the regional control centre
"Dual sword impact!" Yelled Joseph as he unleashed his seven hit combo on the Illuminati members. For reasons not explained in chapter 10, whenever Joseph uses his dual sword skills, a combo meter will appear.

"All clear, Joseph" Said the URSH leader as he disposed of an Illuminati member with ease. "Alright, time to charge into the 101 floor!" Shouted Joseph as the URSH and DRCH armies charged into the next floor. Joseph and the URSH and DRCH armies had been fighting the Illuminati members for hours now.

Joseph did not expect the mission to be this long. "How many more floors till we reached the core control floor?" Asked the URSH leader as he collapsed on the floor. He was dead tired from fighting the Illuminati members. In fact, all of them were. Even Joseph, the strongest of the lot began to pant heavily.

"Like, over 9000 floors!" Exclaimed Joseph said he used his 52 hit combo meteor strike, falling skies and defeated a whole bunch of Illuminati members. "*pants* the Illuminati members are swarming in numbers *pants* reaching the 9102 floor is IMPOSSIBURR" said Joseph as he started to give up. "If only there was another way to get to the 9102 floor..."

"We could use the DRCH teleportation technique to reach the 9102 floor though" said the DRCH leader. "Wait, what?" Replied Joseph with his mouth wide open. "WHY DIDN'T YOU USE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?" Raged Joseph as he strangled the DRCH leader. "Hehe...I thought you guise wanted to grind" said the DRCH leader as he smiled sheepishly.

"Well, we CERTAINLY did NOT want to GRIND" said the URSH leader as he started to rage. "Take it easy guys" said the DRCH leader as he drew a large circle around everyone. "At least, I am doing the technique now". Suddenly, the circle began to glow.

"Circle...DRCH ancient teleportation" shouted the DRCH leader as a beam of light engulfed everyone. Within mere seconds, they were teleported to the core control room. "Ok, all I need to do is destroy the core and the entire building will self-destruct" announced Joseph as the URCH leader began healing everyone with his "heal square" technique.

"Alright, let's end this mission" said Joseph as he used Crimson impact and destroyed the core. "Core destroyed...system malfunction...self-destructing" said the emergency alarm. All the Illuminati members started to panic and ran around in circles.

"DRCH leader, use your teleportation technique to teleport us out of here!" Yelled Joseph as the DRCH leader used the DRCH teleportation technique to teleport everyone out. Within a few minutes, the regional control centre self-destructed, bringing along the Illuminati members in the building with it.

All that was left in the empty square that once was the regional control centre was just scraps. Joseph had finally completed his mission...or had he? Something was wrong. "What the...what the hell is going on?" Exclaimed Joseph as the scraps joined into and formed a rubix cube. And then the rubix cube began to transform...until it turned into a giant mechanical golem.

"Last resort mode activated" said the golem in a robotic voice "Eliminate..." said the golem said its robotic eyes glowed. "OH no...this is not good" said Joseph as he readied himself into battle position. "Only one thing to do, attack!" Shouted Joseph as he charged towards the golem together with the URSH and DRCH armies. A tough fight was about to begin.

Chapter 12: Joseph fights the "boss"
Part two: the mechanical golem

Boss fight: Joseph, URSH army and DRCH army vs mechanical golem.

"Rocket thrusters initiated" said the golem as it fired rockets from his hands. "Duck!" Said the URSH leader as the rockets headed for the URSH army. It was too late. Over 90% of the URSH army got killed from the rocket's impact. 9% of the URSH army got critically damaged. Only 0.1% stayed and fought. The remaining 0.9% ran away.

"Out of rocket ammo. Equipping laser sword" said the golem as it equipped a laser sword. With a single swipe, the golem had already destroyed 75% of the DRCH army. "What...what power is this? How can we defeat this thing?" Exclaimed the DRCH leader as he started to give up hope. In fact, both the URSH army and DRCH army were feeling the same way too.

Joseph did not give up yet. "Dual burst strike!" Yelled Joseph as he performed his 11 hit combo. "Sword resist mode activated" said the golem as it changed from silver to white. Joseph's attack hardly did any damage. "Must...destroy" said the golem as its body changed from white to green. "Leaf sweeping swipe!" Said the golem said it swiped its sword.

The URSH army and DRCH army were completely destroyed in that attack. All that remained was Joseph, the DRCH leader and the URSH leader. "Die" said the golem as it swung its sword and charged straight for the DRCH leader. The sword sliced through the DRCH leader. "Guise..." said the DRCH leader say as he was about to die. "Attack the golem now!" The DRCH leader then exploded. Chains suddenly appeared from the ground and restrained the golem.

"What is this..." said the golem as it tried to break free of the chains. "What just happened?" Asked Joseph as he saw chains restraining the golem. "It's the life chain technique, unique to the DRCH race. Legends says that it has been passed down from DRCH leader to its successor many times" Explained the URSH leader.

"What the life chain technique does is to restrain a target with powerful bonding chains...at the cost of the user's life. Considering the golem's strength. The chain would not hold for long. Joseph, now is our chance to attack" said the URSH leader as he charged forward to attack the golem. "Alright let's do this, LEEROY JENKINS!" Cried Joseph as he charged forward too.

"Use LEEROY JENKINS meme in a chapter checked" said the author as he ticked one of the boxes of his checklist.
Now, back to the fight...

"Meteor strike, falling strikes!" Shouted Joseph as he performed his 52 hit combo. The golem changed colour again. The attack did not seem to work. "How does it keep doing that?" Said Joseph as he used his various sword technique on the golem.

"Elemental resist..." said a mysterious voice. Joseph knew who the voice belonged to. It was his battle instinct. "Use Breakdrive heavenly impact..." advised Joseph's battle instinct. Just then, doom triangle (one of Joseph's swords) began to disappear.

In its place was another sword, one that looked like those "legendary swords" in video games. "The sword is a spirit sword, a sword manifested by pure will...it is called "Divine breaker" Use it wisely" said Joseph's battle spirit. Suddenly, the golem broke free of its chains and kicked the URSH leader far away. "Threat detected. Must destroy." Said the golem as it headed straight for Joseph.

"Heh, do you think you can destroy me?" Said Joseph as he dodged the golem's attack. "Let's see who is getting destroyed!" Shouted Joseph as "Divine breaker" glowed with the seven colours of a rainbow. "Take this! Breakdrive heavenly impact!" Shouted Joseph as he struck the golem's arm "Resist...fail...cannot compute" said the golem as its arm got cut off.

"Resist mode...malfunctioned" said the golem as Joseph struck the golem with breakdrive heavenly impact again. "Now for my ultimate move! Meteor strike, falling skies!" Yelled Joseph as he did his 52 hit combo on the golem. "IMPOSSIBURR..." Said the golem as it began to explode. "Finisher! Crimson ultimate impact!" Shouted Joseph as both swords get engulfed in crimson aura.

"You are defeated!" Said Joseph as he slashed the golem with his two swords. The golem exploded into pieces. "Heh, I finally did it" said Joseph as he grinned.
"Sir, our regional control centre has been destroyed by Joseph!" Said an unknown triangle faced guy. "Don't worry. This expected this is happen. And besides, I already used the "technique". Joseph will be surprised to see the face of his next opponent" said another unknown triangle faced as he laughed menacingly.

Joseph was lying on the ground. Not because he was tired. He was defeated. "No...it can't be" said Joseph as the mysterious figure kicked Joseph, sending him rolling on the floor. "Yes it is Joseph. Now, prepared to be defeated" said the mysterious figure as he pointed his finger at Joseph, fire swirling at his fingertips

Well. That's a wrap for "volume two". Keep reading for more randomness. BTW, what do you think about the randomness? Be sure to review, enjoy!