Elise

I straddled the line between pariah and legend as I made my way to first period, staring back at onlookers as they whispered around me.

To an outsider, I was one of them. A bona-fide member of the very blonde, very posh, squeaky-clean prep school cult.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Hannah asked, "I thought we were friends?"

I hesitated. "I guess…I didn't want to come between all of you as friends."

"Well, you did. And you didn't tell me, which is even worse." Hannah slammed her locker shut, giving me a dirty look before turning her back to me.

By lunch, it was patently clear, even to the outside world, that I was not one of them. Hannah was mad at me, Elliot wouldn't look at me, and Harry had shot me a venomous gaze. Fucking hell.

So I sat alone at a table meant for six, pushing my lunch around on my plate and picking at my split ends.

Of course nobody blamed Elliot. He'd even been on the receiving end of a few high-fives. He was definitely avoiding me though.

I cornered Harry at the end of the day.

"Are you fucking kidding me Elise?" he spat, "You make me feel bad for talking to Kelly while you're making out with Elliot?"

"I-I wanted to tell you but I didn't want you to be pissed off at Elliot.." I bit my lip.

"Like that's supposed to help?" He snarled. "I'll deal with Elliot. You, I don't even know anymore."

"Wait, Harry, let me explain."

"What's to explain? I don't have time for any more of your bullshit." Harry slammed his locker and took off in the opposite direction, leaving me to glare back at the crowd of onlookers.

"What are you staring at?" I snapped, throwing my books into my bag.

I found Elliot in the library late that night, as always. He didn't notice me until I came up behind him, pulling out one of his headphones.

"What are you doing?" I demanded. "Why did you ignore me all day today?"

He turned around, revealing an angry purple bruise on his cheek. I clapped my hand over my mouth.

"Oh shit!"

"Yeah," he said, wincing as I touched it lightly with my fingertips.

"Harry?" I asked, as if I didn't already know the answer.

He nodded.

"Uh…hi." I bit my lip, sitting down at the table beside him. I had nothing to say, really. I didn't even know why I was here. I was looking for something, some reassurance, a sign that all of this bullshit was somehow worth it.

"Hi?" Elliot raised an eyebrow.

"Can we talk?" I asked, trying to cut through the awkwardness.

He didn't respond, just pulled on the other earphone, looking at me expectantly. I took a breath.

I stared at him. I wanted to do anything but talk. I wanted to straddle him and kiss him and return to the place where we were before hoards of students started circulating our faces. To the time we made out on this table, to the frenzied minutes in dark classrooms, to wet kisses on the pier.

I got up and closed the distance between us, sitting on his lap. He gulped, visibly.

"No," he protested, "let's talk."

Elliot moved me gently onto the chair beside him.

I sighed. "I'm not good at this."

"This what?"

"This talking stuff." I frowned. "I don't know what to say, it's uncomfortable. Messy."

The corner of his mouth pulled up. "That's the point."

Huh?

"Life is messy." He said simply, as if he was the fucking Dalai Llama and I had to decipher his code. I made a face.

His lips were full and his hair was fucking beautiful, all floppy and gorgeous in his face and I wanted to kiss him. I put my hand on his knee. Elliot stiffened, pushing my hand away.

"I think we shouldn't do this anymore." He set his mouth resolutely. "I just need to focus on my own shit right now."

No, no no no this couldn't be happening. I swallowed hard.

"Seriously?" I asked, incredulous. "I came here because I wanted…I needed, to know that…well, never mind. Why are you playing these games?"

"Games? Jesus Christ, do you ever think about anyone but yourself?" He snapped, "Did it occur to you that maybe I don't like the fact that my best friend punched me in the face? Or that that little stunt today hurt my reputation as a student leader, which could kill my college applications if I have to step down?"

"If I'm not mistaken, I wasn't just playing with myself out there. You were the one kissing me." I narrowed my eyes. "You're not innocent in all of this."

"I know, which is why I'm the one ending it." He crossed his arms. "It was a bad idea when it started and I'm sorry for kissing you."

"Fine." I spat, turning on my heel. "What the fuck ever. Go fuck yourself."

I was so busy storming out of the room that I didn't have time to feel sad, to recognize what I had lost.

All I felt was empty.

---

Elliot

I regretted my words to Elise as soon as she left. If there was one thing I hated though, it was admitting when I fucked up. And I'd fucked up, bad. So I ignored Elise in the hallways, which wasn't hard. I knew where all her classes were. I'd taken to avoiding the cafeteria so I didn't have to see her sitting alone, staring vacantly out at our peers while my chest tightened in regret.

She was right – I'd brought this on myself. With a little smoothing over, my reputation had taken only a minor hit, the fading bruise on my cheek the only evidence that my fight with Harry had occurred.

It got worse when I had to go home for dinner on Saturday.

"How'd you get that bruise, son?" My dad looked less than pleased as he surveyed my cheek.

I didn't look at him, hoping to get off the hook, but my sister butted in.

"I heard Harry clocked you in the face after you kissed his girlfriend." Maddie teased.

"How do you know that?" I asked, surprised. Maddie chose St. Mildred's over NHP so she could be with her friends, although it wasn't far away. I guess some of the gossip had spilled over. Stories this big usually do.

"It's not often I hear gossip about my boring brother. I didn't even believe it until now." She surveyed my cheek with a low whistle. "Shit!"

"Madison!" My father warned. "Language!"

She just rolled her eyes.

"Is this true?" My mom asked, carefully placing slices of roast beef on my plate.

I sighed, "Yeah."

"I knew it." She looked at my father pointedly. "See Al? I told you. It's the girl from the awards dinner, right?"

I nodded, flushing slightly.

"I heard she's wild." Maddie interjected. I glowered at her; she was having way too much fun with my misfortune. I guess it was only fair, I never got in trouble and she seemed to be perpetually attracting it.

My parents shared a conspirational glance. "Hmm, is she the reason for the $500 speeding ticket?"

I groaned. "They caught me on the traffic radar?"

"Yes," my father tried to sound firm but I could see his eyes twinkling beneath his stern expression. "I was so surprised I thought your car had been stolen."

"No, it was me," I mumbled, flushing bright pink. "I'm sorry. Won't happen again."

Maddie cracked up, taking far too much pleasure in my discomfort. "No. Way."

"Just you?" My mother prodded, and I sighed. She was trying to meddle in my life again and I wasn't having it. I took a bite of potato, not answering her, although my silence made it clear.

"Well we'll pay it this time." My dad covered a chuckle with a cough. "You know, when I told you to have more fun, that's not exactly what I meant."

"You're not even going to punish him?" Maddie asked, indignant. "I would be grounded for a year for that!"

"You also don't have eighteen years of good behaviour to back you up." My mother responded, "Your headmaster called us yesterday Maddie, you had 18 tardies last month."

That shut my sister up. Unfortunately, my mom's attention turned right back to me.

"So when do we get to meet her?" She asked with practiced lightness. I groaned.

"Well we're not together," I said, "so that would be weird."

"Seriously?" My sister piped in. "You take a punch to the face for her and you aren't even nailin-"

I shot her a warning look.

"Can you all stop grilling me now?" I pleaded.

"I suppose." My mother winked at my father and I winced, relieved when the conversation turned to lighter topics.

"Elliot," Maddie cornered me after dinner in my bedroom, shutting the door.

"What? I'm not in the mood for your shit." I snapped.

"God, you're pleasant." She sat cross-legged on my bed, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry."

"Tell me about Elise." She ordered.

I sighed. "Are you just fishing for gossip now?"

"No!" She pretended to look shocked. "Okay, a little. Not entirely though…Why aren't you seeing her?"

I groaned. "It's complicated."

Maddie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I'm so sure."

"Okay so when the photos came out and everyone was freaking out at me, I may have yelled at her." I ran a hand through my hair.

"So you apologized…." she said slowly, "right?"

"No…" I shook my head.

She sighed. "You're such an idiot."

"Why?"

"Let me get this straight. You regret yelling at her, you're obviously in love with her, but you won't apologize to her." Maddie raised an eyebrow.

Well when you put it like that.

"First of all, I'm not in love with her."

"And?" She asked.

"And I don't want to admit that I was wrong." I sighed.

Maddie flopped back on my bed, covering her eyes. "So it's not complicated at all, you're just making it complicated. You're being such a dumbass Elliot, just go talk to her."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Because she hates me."

"That's usually what apologies are for." She smirked. "Anyway, I heard she's fucking awesome, so I'm not surprised you've already blown it."

"Get out of my room!"

---

I tried to talk to Elise but she wasn't having it. I caught her in the practice room on Tuesday and in the library on Thursday and both times she'd told me, in no uncertain terms, to fuck right off. I guess I deserved that, but I still felt like shit.

It was 2am on Friday night, although I guess it was Saturday morning now. I was sitting at my desk, drowning in a mountain of homework that I'd ignored all week.

I hadn't shaved in three days and I was wearing flannel pajama pants as I typed out the final words of my AP Government paper, looking forward to falling headfirst into bed at the end of it, when I heard a knock at my door.

And a giggle.

Nothing good happens after 2am.

I walked to the door and opened it.

Elise.

She was standing there in a glittery black dress, heels in her hand. Her hair was wild and her makeup was smudged and she looked absolutely fucking ravishing.

I stared at her.

"Hi." She said, giggling, swaying in the doorway. She was hammered.

"Come in," I gestured. "Before somebody catches you drunk."

She flopped down on my bed, drawing her knees up to her chest. "Pshh, I wouldn't get caught."

"Sure. Anyway…" I started, looking quizzically at her. "What brings you here?"

I was trying rather hard not to stare at her shoulder, exposed bare and silky smooth from her falling shoulder strap. I didn't stand a chance.

"I don't know," She frowned. "I guess I just came to talk…"

I chuckled, still staring at her. "At 2am?"

"I like your stubble." Her hands crept up to trace my jawline as she giggled.

"Look Elise, I'm really…sorry." I admitted, "I don't like to admit I was wrong but I was and I…really like you and I…"

"Oooh you have nice sheets!" She was running her fingers over my bed, ignoring me.

I was wasting my breath; she was too drunk to care. Fuck.

"Elise!" I caught her by the elbow as she walked around my room, nosily inspecting my things.

"God, everything is so organized!" She cackled. "You're nuts."

I scowled. "Hey! Did you just come here to go through my stuff?"

Elise pushed me down onto the bed, grinning before straddling my hips, her hands crawling up to my neck. I jumped, surprised. "I think you know damn well why I'm here."

Oh shit...

"Elise, don't. You're dru-" She shushed me loudly, splaying her fingers out across my cheek and laying her thumb over my lips. I couldn't breathe at the sensation of her soft skin on mine, the warm wiggling pressure of her in my lap reminding me what I'd been thinking about every second of every day this week, replaying last Sunday over and over in my head.

"No I'm not." Elise slurred. "Just a few beers."

"And?"

"Shots."

"And?"

"Weed." She said gleefully, running her fingers through my hair. I groaned. This was driving me crazy. The straps of her dress had given up and she smelled amazing, pressed up hard against my chest, sitting on my dick. I couldn't string together a coherent thought if I tried.

"Fuck, Elise," I tried to shift her off me but she looped her legs around my waist instead. "Stop. We need to have a talk, and now isn't the time, because you're too drunk."

"Noooo…" She protested, laying her head on my shoulder. I reached up to stroke her hair, resting my chin on the top of her head. Fuck, this felt so natural. So right. Except for the fact that it wasn't, that we hadn't addressed anything between us, that the only reason she was here was because she was wasted.

"Where did you go tonight, anyway?"

"Lisa took me to a college party." She pouted up at me. "It's not like I have any friends here now. Thanks to you."

"Don't blame that on me." I frowned.

"Fooling around with you wasn't even worth it," she said, "you're kind of a shithead."

"Look, Elise, that's what I've been trying to tell you, I'm really sorry I said those things, I was wrong and…"

"Stop trying to apologize." Her fingers ran up my jaw again.

"Why don't you want me to apologize?"

"Because I'm still mad at you and it's not going to work," she mumbled.

"So why are you here?"

"It's 2am on a Friday, why do you think I'm here?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "I keep trying to forget about you, but you keep coming back into my head, so I came here to get it out of my system. You ruined my reputation and then ran away, the least you could do is fuck me."

"I didn't ruin-" She didn't give me a chance to finish, covering my mouth with hers.

It wasn't the same though. The pliant, needy way she kissed me last weekend was gone. This was hardened, detached. Her lips worked mine open, her tongue flicking into my mouth. My body reacted instinctively, flushing with heat wherever her skin touched.

"Come closer," she whispered.

"I don't think that's possible," I groaned. If it weren't for the thin fabric of my pajama pants and the silk of her panties we'd be fucking. This was exquisite, excruciating torture.

"I want you." She tipped her head to the side, whispering in my ear. I shuddered.

"Elise," I whispered, "please. Now isn't the time."

"Why don't you want me?" Elise whined, her hair falling all over my chest as she rested her head on my shoulder again. Her eyes were glassy and unfocused. She was wasted.

"I do want you," I whispered, "that's what I've been trying to tell you."

She rolled her hips into mine and I could feel my heart hammering out of my chest. Fuck.

"So have me." She pouted, arching her back to get closer to me. I had no idea where she was going with all of this back and forth. I didn't know what she wanted, and I felt like she didn't either.

"Elise we'll talk about this later, you're super out of it. You need to get home." I sighed. Hopefully I wouldn't regret this.

"I don't wanna." She complained as I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her off my lap. "Hannah's still mad at me, and she's going to be even more mad at me if I wake her up."

I pulled out an old pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt from my dresser.

"Here." I offered. "Get changed then. Stay here tonight."

She moved to take off her dress and I made a strangled noise in the back of my throat.

"Unzip me?" She was twisting around clumsily, trying to wiggle out of her dress without falling over her own drunken feet.

"Elise, are you trying to kill me?" I hissed, trying not to stare at the soft skin underneath her zipper as I slid it down. "There."

I went back to my desk and turned my back to her as she changed, trying to calm my labored breathing. There was no way I was finishing this paper tonight, but I stared at it as an excuse as I heard her fumbling with clothes, only closing my laptop when I heard her settle back on the bed.

"Elliotttt," Elise giggled, dragging out my name. "C'mere!"

She was drowning in my clothes, trying to pull me down onto the bed but only succeeding in tipping over, laughing hysterically. Undeterred, she tried again and I shook my head.

"You know I still have work to do right?" I asked.

"Pshhh," she said, "this is more fun."

I crawled under the covers and let myself imagine that she wasn't hammered, that she was going to stick around tomorrow morning, that she wasn't still mad at me.

"You're pretttttyyy." Elise slurred, nestling into my side. "And warm. Warm is good."

"Thanks." I grinned, tucking the covers around her more closely. "I know you probably won't remember this, but I'll be sure to remind you in the morning how pretty you think I am."

"I'll remember," she mumbled, "I'm not even drunk."

"Sure," I said, "hey Elise?"

"Wha?"

"Will you give me a chance to talk to you tomorrow?" I murmured into her hair. "I know I was an ass. Please let me make it up to you."

"Maybe." She frowned.

"You're here now." I pointed out. "That has to mean something. Please, Elise?"

"I'm sleepy." She could hardly hold her head up, eventually resting it on my chest. I ran my fingers through her hair, twisting the pale strands off of her neck and making tiny circles with my fingertips against her scalp.

"Shh." I ran a fingertip along each eyelid, forcing them to stay closed, watching as her breathing slowed and she drifted into a deep drunken sleep.

A/N - sorry for the slight delay in this. It's midterm season at school, and as much as I'd love to write all day, I have to study sometimes. Expect the updates to go back to weekly moving forward. Thank you so, so much to everyone who favs, reviews, follows, or reads. I love you all.