Transparent

I don't know when it happened

The moment when you walked past me for the first time, possibly

Maybe it was when you looked me in the eyes

Or could it have been when our skin touched for the first time

Whenever it was, whatever it was

It was something that struck me into a stiffness

My body stayed in one position for what seemed like hours

My heart trembled with quick beats

And the tips of my fingers grew cold

I don't understand how it happened

I watched you for weeks, wondering what it was about you

You had the dumbest grin on your face all the time

Your jokes consisted of lame puns and overrun repetitions

But somehow it was all so pleasurable for me

Your constant prodding of my personal space

Always me telling you that you were an idiot

Then we'd repeat the cycle everyday

And I couldn't get enough of it

I don't get why it happened

Surely I didn't deserve it

It couldn't be that it was fate either

I could say it was a prize given to me by some divine presence

You were special, I could tell

From the very first whisper to the ear

To the very last joke

You made me feel special, and I hope I did that for you

When you hugged me close, I felt infinite

No harm would come as long as you wrapped me up in your embrace

But now, as I sit what seems to be miles away,

Someone might point out that you're staring at me "again", but I don't look

Because I know it's true

I didn't realize what happened

Until you were inches away from my face and my cheeks grew warm

Then you snapped out of the trance you were in and withdrew

And at that moment, time must have stopped for the both of us

I couldn't help but wish for more

After that, every time you looked at me, you look confused

As if you didn't know why you existed

Possibly, you wondered why I sat next to you with the same expression

It was confusing, you and me

The way we said "I hate you" with smiles

Or how we held hands for no reason at all

You talked about how much you had, but looked as if you had so little

Maybe that's when it happened

Maybe it's when I saw right through your lies

I know who you are

From your quirks to your pet peeves

I know that you act out just to make people laugh

That you have a lonely home, even with all your siblings

I'm aware of your anger

I've seen your stare; the one that makes me feel like a deer in headlights

In the darkness, I've witnessed your woe

You're not who you say you are

But I looked past the curtain to see the backstage acts

What I found was a dismal background

And there you were; hiding

Maybe it was when you first said my name

The way the syllables bounced on your tongue

Or maybe it was when you grabbed me like I was yours

All I know is that you are not tough

You are clear to me

I see through every lie you build

My eyes shine through you like the sun glows onto the sea

You are beautiful; you are transparent