3A.N I am so sorry I didn't post this sooner. It was supposed to be posted Christmas Day but I totally forgot. I'll post one more chapter after this if I get a few reviews :D
Chapter 3
Flashbacks
Hayden and I had been living together for three months when problems started happening. They weren't big at first, but they were starting to grind on both our nerves. Hayden got a job at a club. He was a bouncer, and always came home with bruises from drunk flailing. I got fired from my job at McDonald's, so I currently needed money. Lastly, my bad day was coming up. With rent being due, my memories going crazy, and Hayden coming home smelling like beer and smoke-well I guess it was only a matter of time before one of us blew up.
However, the day had started off promising. I had taken some sleeping pills the night before, so I didn't have any nightmares. I woke up, and made it to Kroger before my manager got there. I only had to talk to two people while I restocked shelves. Then over at Puppies and Pets I got to play with the new group of baby black labs we got.
Then I just had to go to the heart attack joint. I was late for the fifth time (some genius decided to steal my cab again). One person complained, and the boss had to fire me. So that last paycheck would hopefully be coming in soon, but I had to look for another job that would accept me to the late shift.
Needless to say, when I got home I was not in the best of moods. So when Hayden joked about how dirty the house was...well I exploded. I was screaming at him, yelling that he could do something every once and a while. He was yelling back that I was being a bitch, and I admit that I did throw the first punch.
After that it all went downhill faster than a cuss word out of a drunk's mouth. I punched Hayden in the face, and he had me pinned to the ground, my arm painfully wrenched behind my back before I could do anything.
But of course that wasn't enough. Fate just had to make me start going into a flashback mixed with a panic attack. I started crying and kicking. My head wasn't even in the apartment anymore; I was totally out of it. I just kept feeling helpless, and forgot that it was Hayden. Instead I was crying on the floor, freaking out, thinking that I was going to be hurt again.
Of course my reaction made Hayden freak out. He got up immediately and tried to figure out what had caused me to freak out so much, but I couldn't stand to be near him. So I did the one thing that seemed reasonable at the time. I ran to my room, locked the door, and hid in the closet.
That's where I am currently sitting. Hayden is banging on my door, trying to make sure I didn't kill myself, and I am curled up in a fetal position. I could hear Hayden slide his back down the door and sit there. I was holding a stuffed animal against my chest. "Sam come on...please-at least- make a sound so I know you're still alive in there."
"I'm okay." I said softly.
I heard a heavy sigh of relief, and some movement on the other side of the door. "Do you want to talk about it?" I heard him ask. I clenched the stuffed animal bear closer to me, and temporarily placed my face in its soft fur.
"Maybe one day Hayden, but not today." I said when I removed my face from the stuffed animal. I heard some movement on the other side of the door, and I breathed in. "I'm sorry for punching you." I whispered as I slowly moved out of the closet.
"It's no problem." Hayden paused. "I'm sorry for making you have a panic attack." I nodded, and leaned against my bed. I curled my kneed up to my chest, and waited to see if I needed to break the silence. "Want to hear a funny story?"
"Sure." I answered.
Hayden leaned against the door. "When I was ten years old, my brothers and I were playing outside. We had been playing some make believe game, and I had somehow managed to get tied to a tree with a jump rope." I smirked. "The thing is though my brothers left me out there, and my dad ended up having to untie me. Of course Mark and Issac thought it was hilarious, but my dad didn't think so. I told them I was going to run away because they had left me tied to a tree. I packed up all my stuff, and walked out the door."
I smiled, and waited for Hayden to continue. "I made it halfway to the exit of the neighborhood when I realized my dad was following me in the car. Dad rode all the way to the end of the neighborhood while I walked, and pouted. When we got to the end of the neighborhood, he asked me to go back home with him. Me, being the angry child, started yelling about how he didn't care about me and how Mark and Issac were bullies.
My dad took it all in stride though. He asked me if I wanted to play a prank on them, and I-quite eagerly- agreed. I went home, slept in the car, and then the next day dad put a walkie-talkie in the car with me. Issac and Mark were asking where I was, and my dad just said he couldn't find me. They both started crying and wailing about how they didn't mean to leave me tied to a tree. I thought it was pretty funny, but my dad took it one step farther.
See the day after that, my brothers were playing outside. My dad led me behind a bunch of rose bushes that we had. He gave me a whole bunch of firecrackers." I smiled, knowing this next part would be funny. "Issac and Mark came by the bushes, and we set them off. Issac peed himself, and Mark ran inside yelling for my mom." He laughed a bit before finishing. "When they found out it was me, they hugged me and were saying that I could never run away again."
I stood up, and slowly unlocked the door. Hayden stood up, and I smiled as I opened the door. "Thank you." I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him for a bit. He didn't hug me back, but that was okay. I let him go, and walked back into my room so that I could put the stuffed animal down.
Hayden and I didn't talk for the rest of the day. We weren't mad at each other; we were just trying to understand that there would be secrets between us. One day those secrets would come out, and we'd have to be there for each other. In some ways that was comforting, but on the other hand it was terrifying. Because one day I would have to tell him what happened to me, and one day I would know why he whimpers and cries in his sleep. Knowing each other's horrors made me scared for what lay behind that unopened door.
A.N. Review please.
Also I wanted to mention that some of these chapters may change as I research more into PTSD and trauma victims. For now though this is how it is. If anyone knows any good websites or books on the subject I would appreciate it if you reviewed or PM-ed me the info. Thank you so much guys.