1Author's Note: 1. Thank you for following with me in this story this far. 2. I have changed the formatting a little and hopefully it will flow better than before. Thanks.
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Sequence 6. The Freedom to Choose is a Privilege, Not a Right
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"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." – Joseph Campbell; A Hero's Journey
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Rin opened his eyes and felt the sting of lingering tears that dried up against his face.
He remembered everything. His fingers still trembled at that impossible, unforgettable sensation. He could still feel the gentle warmth of his mother's touch on his forehead. He could still hear the powerful words of his father that echoed the strength of the family's patriarch. He could still feel the ache of his body as it remembered all the grapples, tumbles, throws, and fists he had exchanged with his grandfather. But… in the end, it was just a dream.
Again, warm tears welled up from the corner of his eyes. He wanted to wipe them away, but his arms felt like lead. Why do I feel so tired? How long was I asleep? Someone should turn off the lights because it's so bright. Rin looked around with fatigued eyes to take in the reality he had woken up to. White ceiling, these machines, the irritating disinfectant smell… am I in the hospital? It's certainly better than jail, but why am I here?
Rin tried to move again, only to twitch uncomfortably from all the numbness that ran across his body. Not only that, but he felt the desert in his mouth and throat as he tried to talk. This is not good; this is not good at all. What happened to my body? I need water, and I need to get out of here.
"Oh, Mr. Katagiri, you are finally awake!" A voice called out from somewhere he could not see. Turning slowly to the speaker, Rin noticed a lady in navy scrubs beaming with an almost alien smile. Why does she look so happy and bright?
"Where…?" After much effort on his jaw and throat, Rin finally choked out the word. The nurse walked up to his bed and shifted her eyes to the monitor. After a few seconds, as if the data satisfied her, she continued to smile.
"You're at St. Mary's, the ICU. Please refrain from moving too much while I go get the doctor, okay? I'll be right back!" In a flash, the nurse left, not even bother to explain more or help Rin get some water to drink.
At least get me a cup of water, you damn woman! All Rin could do was glare at the shut door. Lacking even the energy to vocalize his complaint, Rin sank back into the foam mattress and stared at the unchanging scene before him. I don't even know what feeling's worse, sleeping in a jail cell or having tubes and plugs and IV stuck up my ass or something. And where the hell is the nurse?
Rin couldn't move, couldn't talk, and the droning silence coupled only by the sound of machines and distant voices were slowly driving him insane. He did not even have the strength to press the Call-light, or even find it at this point. All Rin could do was to stare at the chalk-white ceiling and wait.
Anytime now, the door will open, and someone – a nurse, or anyone for that matter – would step in, get me some water, and explain what the hell's going on with me. Come on, I'm waiting. Ten seconds, one minute? Actually, I don't even see the clock, what time is it? As Rin continued to race in his mind while his body remained immobile, he began to fade in and out of consciousness because of sheer exhaustion.
The nurse never came back. Or if she did, he did not know. In fact, the next time Rin woke up, he noticed that there were 3 complete strangers in the room. That white coat and stethoscope hanging around her neck, has to be the doctor. The other two - man and woman - looked like they did not belong in the hospital. Rin would put the woman in front of test tubes and research laboratories, while the man in a business meeting.
"How are you, Mr. Katagiri. Feeling alright?" The aged doctor spoke with a motherly voice.
Opening his mouth, Rin felt the crackle of pain in his throat and mouth as air flowed in. "…Water, please."
"Dehydration, as expected." The female scientist spoke as she produced a cup of water in her hand. Sporting jet-black hair in ponytail and thick-rim glasses, her razor-sharp gaze was a stark contrast to her perfectly controlled hands that guided icy cold water into Rin's mouth.
"More," Rin demanded as he emptied the first cup of water, and greedily devoured subsequent cups until he finally felt his strength returned.
"Thank you." Slowly, Rin set the paper cup down on the nearby table. He didn't know who the lady scientist was, but he felt that she was probably the first kind person he had seen in days.
"Now, I'm sure you have a lot of questions, Mr. Katagiri, but you look like you still need some time to recover." The doctor placed one hand on Rin's shoulder. She then turned to the two others standing by.
"If you don't mind, I would like to speak to him first and do a quick assessment of where he is at. That way we will also have a good idea of when he would be safe to discharge from here." The blonde hospitalist smiled at the man and woman next to Rin's bed.
Seeming to be people of few words, the two strangers nodded and stepped out. Once the door to the room closed, the doctor returned to Rin and began her hail of questions.
…
Rin was exhausted. Didn't she say it was important for me to recover first? More like the Inquisition, damn liar. He did not like being interrogated. It did not feel like the doctor cared about his wellbeing at all. She just wanted to get as much answer as she could out of him. Some of these questions, like "when was the last time you were hospitalized," or "do you have any allergic reactions" or "are you a habitual drug, alcohol, or cigarette user?"
How about you go check out my records instead and let me sleep, doctor? These words dangled at the tip of Rin's tongue, but he held back at the last moment. No, I need to calm down… it's much more important that I figure out what's wrong with me. If I were to believe her, that means I have been in a coma for a week, and it's a miracle that I manage to wake up… but how?
"I don't understand. I mean, how did I even end up in a coma in the first place?"
"Unfortunately, there is much we don't really know. We did some tests, including CT scan for head trauma, fMRI, and repeated EEG. All they can tell us is that although your body was completely unresponsive to any kind of physical or electrical stimulus, your brain was still very much alive. Essentially, you were a vegetable for a whole week. We are in the middle of figuring things out, since so far, you are the first to recover."
"First to recover? What do you mean, doctor?" Rin breathed in sharply. Does this mean there are others like me here as well?
"Though I am not obligated to share with you any more than necessary, yes, you are not the first. However, you are the first one to wake up in such a short time. Beyond that, I'm sorry but we know little of anything else." The doctor sighed and looked away.
Rin could tell from her weary expression and lookin that as a medical professional, she probably took a lot of pride in her area of expertise, and didn't like the fact that she had no answer to what they were dealing with. For a few seconds, there was only silence minus the beeps of the medical devices, but the doctor did not take long to reengage with Rin.
"Unless, Mr. Katagiri, there is something else you can tell me? Is there anything you can recall at all, from the moment that you fell unconscious to now?" He could sense there was hope in her voice. Should I tell her about that dream? How do they even relate though? In the end, he decided to give it a shot.
"Well, I remembered that I was in a dream-"
"That's not a surprise. All of our data indicated that you were in a perpetual dream-like state. But is there anything peculiar about this dream?"
"…" Rin went into silence. The doctor did not look like she was interested in actually listening. Then again, even Rin knew that dreams were nothing but random neurons firing, with absolutely no connection to real world. "It's nothing special, just about my childhood."
"I see… well, other than appearing as if you were having a long active dream, we simply don't have the technology or research to better understand if dreams actually have an impact in your health. In any case, your belongings can be found on the table over there, including your phone. Mind me asking, but do you have any family in the Bay Area?"
"No. Just myself." Rin recalled what he saw in the dream, and sighed. That's right, I'm all alone now. There's my friends, like Marlon, but his wedding. Oh shit! "You said it's been a full week? What day is today?"
"Thursday, I believe. It's the middle of February." The doctor replied. Immediately, Rin felt as if his heart had sank into the bottom. Thursday, 4 days after the supposed wedding. Phone. I need to see the phone, damn it!
Rin looked frantically on the table next to him. He detected easily the device, but his body was still very weak. He looked at the doctor expectedly, "Can you help me get my phone?"
"Ah, of course. I don't think it's charged, though." She gave the phone back to Rin. With quaking fingers, he held it long enough to confirm that indeed, his phone was dead. "Don't worry, I'm sure your charge nurse can help you out. For now, just sit tight and be patient, okay?" Hearing her reply, Rin sank his head back onto the uncomfortable bed. As if today can't get any worse, and now I can't even use my phone; what am I going to tell him, the others?
"Well, I can only imagine what's going on in your head. You've been away for so long and no one has come to see you. I can only imagine that they have no idea you ended up here. I'm sure you have a lot of personal affair to sort out, too. Now we typically don't discharge patients straight from the ICU, and given your circumstances we still want to keep you today for observation. Please, Mr. Katagiri, don't give me that look. No matter how much you want to go home, we need you to stay."
Rin sighed in dismay. This is a shitty situation to be in.
"Besides, we have every reason to keep you here. In fact, this is a good time for me to explain to you just what kind of situation you were in when they brought you to the ER and then to ICU. We did enough tests to conclude that unlike comatose patients we have cared for in the past, your condition is something that is somehow far more… different."
Rin stared hard at the doctor. She had a very serious expression on her face. Her wrinkled smiles were all but faded away. Slowly, he gave her the cue to speak, "Different? Aren't comas all the same?"
"Yes and no. While the life support in the ICU usually allows us to stabilize the vital functions for someone in coma, that's it. Beyond that we have no control over when they will wake up, nor can we clearly diagnose the specific cause. In any case, what stands out the most with your case is that in just a few days, your body showed signs of severely dehydrated, with very low blood sugar, blood cell count, and oxygen saturation. I can go on and on, but essentially, nothing we tried could stop the rapid decline of your body. If you had not woken up today, the team and I think that you might not even make it past tomorrow."
Rin didn't know what to think as he watched the doctor sighing in apparent exasperation. I might not make it? I was this close to dying? But I don't know anything about comas or what I am suppose to expect. She makes it sound like it's a huge deal, and yet all she has are questions and no answers.
"… So… I guess I got lucky then?" He said with a forced smile.
"Lucky or cursed; maybe both. People in good health, age, and generic body types don't just fall into coma out of the blue, come this close to death, and then wake up just in time! In fact, that's the whole reason those people from CDC came over. I assume they are here to investigate your miraculous recovery. Difficult people to work with, but please do try to answer them to the best of your ability."
"Yes, doctor. I do have one more question though. What about the other patients with similar case as me? Did any of them wake up?"
Upon seeing the doctor's stony expression and averted eyes, Rin could only assume bad things. Maybe that's why she was so quick to call my case a miracle. After a moment's silence, the aged doctor finally replied with a grim expression.
"I have practiced for over thirty years, and in the ICU for the past fifteen years. I believe in integrity and patient rights, and you as a patient deserve to know as much as possible within reasonable rules. So I will say that your cases are the first of its kind: a deadly type of coma with unknown origin and very high mortality rate. Meaning, you are the only one among patients we have admitted in the last few month that has survived."
"What happened to them?" Only survivor? Rin felt a shiver run down his spine. I must know more.
However, before the doctor could speak, Rin saw that the two people who were with her before had entered the room again.
"Excuse me, doctor. I hope it's a good time for us to proceed?" The man said as he adjusted his tie. His attire and smile reminded Rin of this old series of movies his grandfather used to love. The main character was not only a debonair but a deadly agent from the British Intelligence with a license to kill.
".. Oh yes, I'm sorry. I was just finishing up. Look at the time; I better go make my rounds now. I will talk to you later in regards to your discharge. Well then," With a brief and distracted smile, the doctor left.
"How do you do? Arthur Lancaster, Chief of Operations." After the door closed behind them, the man introduced himself first, standing tall looking down over the bed. Everything from his glaringly-sharp 3-piece Tom Ford suit to his perfectly gelled and combed hair to his strong eye contact gave off an imposing, almost elite impression.
"Ashla Tan, just a scientist." In a voice quieter than her companion, the woman with black ponytail took one hand out of her lab coat pocket and waved.
"Not just a scientist. She is the leading researcher of our institution. Center for Disease Control. We belong to the World Health Organization. I'm sure you have heard of us?" Smiling, the man grabbed a chair and sat down right next to Rin. His companion continued to stand, however.
"More or less… so what do you want with me?" Rin asked after a short silence. He had only ever heard of CDC and WHO from movies and other sources, mostly fictional. To think they exist and come to meet him personally was something Rin would only ever believe if he were drunk.
Compare to the imposing Arthur, Ashla looked like a small, harmless animal. Although he was curious why they were here, Rin felt in his gut a great deal of apprehension, especially toward Arthur. The guy looked like a salesman, one with a silver tongue, so to Rin's surprise, it was Ashla the scientist that spoke first.
"I'll get straight to the point. As of today, you are the 34th survivor of this coma-induced idiosympathic neuromuscular degenerative disease. We would like to take you immediately under our custody for further studies. Refusal is not plausible. The world is at stake here." Ashla the scientist spoke first, her voice so plain it was hard to take the words as anything but face value.
"… What?" Rin blinked, speechless. 34th to survive? I cannot refuse? The world?
"You look lost, and I can't exactly blame you. Did that doctor from earlier explain to you about your coma and other conditions?" Contrary to how Rin felt right now, the two appeared serene. Arthur did not even blink as he followed through with a slight smile.
"Y-yes, but I have no idea what you are talking about. Is this some kind of joke?" He glared at the two, but Arthur simply leaned back with a relaxed, almost poker-like face, while Ashla sat there, fidgeting and impatient.
"Not a joke. We are actually quite serious." Arthur leaned forward, his stare unwavering. "We have every reason to believe that you, as one of the few survivors, may hold the key to figuring out this potential epidemic. Ashla tends to be blunt, but we have no reason to lie at this point because it is spreading, and fast, like a plague."
Uncomfortable as he already was, Rin could only fidget against the visitors' serious, stony expressions. He could not find any reason to doubt the man's words, farfetched as they seemed, but everything was moving way too fast. First the doctor tells me I am lucky to be alive, and now these people ramble about disease and plagues, what the hell, and why am I involved?
"But what's that gotta do with me?"
"We don't believe in coincidences, and your recovery is most definitely not a coincidence. While I cannot divulge everything here as it is classified, if you consent to cooperate with us, then of course we will share that knowledge with you. The CDC's job is to research and find a solution to all the deadliest diseases known to man, and you are among the very few that has actually survived this new disease. You see where this is going, I hope?"
Of course I know where this is going. Rin glared at the two as he held his silence. These people believe that I hold the cure, like all those science fiction movies of the past. And just like those movies, they will just use me like a guinea pig, while making false promises about how much I am contributing to humanity and all that crap. They're just taking advantage of me in the end, I bet.
"… Yes, but so what? I survived, but it's not like I can help you with what you are looking for. Besides, you already have all these other survivors, so how am I going to be any different? Why should I cooperate with you?" Rin shook his head. There's no way I am agreeing to this bullshit they are trying to pull.
"Mr. Katagiri, I understand completely where you are coming from." Arthur sat with his leg crossed, the rest of his body completely grounded. However, his gaze had also hardened, and the smile he had seconds ago disappeared as his voice boomed inside the room.
"We are strangers, and we are demanding a lot from you already. It's only natural to feel apprehensive and suspicious, so I'll be frank with you. Right now, despite having the best research team and support in the world, we still know nothing about this disease that we are fighting against. The governments of the world and the media are doing their best to hide it, but it's only a matter of time the reality comes to light all across the internet. The world will panic, and everything we hold dear – friends, family, our human race – will come crashing down if we don't do anything about it. Please, believe us that right now, you and the other survivors are our only hope. We need you."
Rin continued to stare at his colorless bed sheets as he listened. Those words that came out of the CDC guy's mouth felt like distant thunder echoing in his ears. I want to believe what this guy's saying, but doesn't this sound like some generic scripted line from a science fiction movie? Even if it is true, why me? Why now?
A dull pain had began to escalate in his head, and more so than ever, he felt a mixture of cold shivers and hot sweat perforating through his entire body. Struggling to stay focused, he finally turned to Arthur.
"Sounds like something out of a sci-fi movie. You'll have to do better than that if you want me to believe your story." Not bothering to see a reaction, Rin turned away and sank back down into the bed. "I want to rest, so go away."
"You had a dream, correct? It was something that meant a lot to you, a dream that feels so real until you realize that it really is too good to be true." This time, the scientist was the one that chipped in.
Rin flinched, and his entire body froze in mid-turn. How did she know that? Suddenly, he felt more alert than ever before as his brain cranked up exponentially. Could they know what happened to me?
"Ashla, you know that's classified information."
"He deserves to know, and I can't think of any more convincing way than to tell him the facts of our discovery. The higher-ups can complain all they want but we are the ones doing the actual job." Rin was genuinely surprised. He did not expect the stoic woman to breach whatever rules they had. Slowly and fighting against his aching head and neck, Rin faced the two people once more.
"What if I tell you, that this disease actually stem from something completely unrelated to biological means, something that can't even be classified as a virus or whatever, and is actually killing people as they dream? In fact, I even came up with a fitting name: the Devouring Nightmare Syndrome or DNS for short." Ashla exclaimed with twinkles in her eyes and a proud smile plastered on her ashen face. Rin shot a quick look at Arthur, who merely shrugged with a curt smile as Ashla continued.
"You see, all of the survivors tell us they were dreaming – no, they were actually living in their dreams. Though no dream is identical, every one of them was so realistic the survivors had no idea they were fake. On top of that, there were several critical points that all survivors had in common. Here," Ashla stopped there, before she pulled out her smart phone and fiddled with it.
Carefully, she displayed the enlarged screen of the phone to Rin. Expecting some fancy display of data, all he saw instead was a white screen with bullet points.
"First, we believe that the dreams act as a medium through where the disease kills, but how? No idea. Just that if the infected cannot wake up after a certain period of time, they will die. The exceptions are you and the other 33. Secondly, although the circumstances and factors of how DNS activated and affected its victims remain unclear, all of the survivors had at some point realized they were in a dream. What follows seems to be an automated process to where they are forcefully ejected from their dreams. Lastly, what we find the most troubling is that even though they knew they were inches away from death, many felt they should have stayed in the dreams instead." Making a deep sigh, Ashla returned her phone into the depth of her lab coat.
"But why? If it's true as you say, then they are trading their lives for a mere figment of their imagination." Rin asked almost on reflex, but instantly regretted responding so casually and giving these people a reason to stick around.
A grim smile flashed across Arthur's clean-shaven face. "Who knows? But whether these dreams are only figments of one's imagination or real as can be, they are tied impeccably with DNS. So let's cut to the chase, as you Americans put it. You were also trapped within a dream so real you didn't want to believe it were anything otherwise, am I correct?" His gaze hardened, and Rin felt as if he was suddenly placed under the light of a dissecting table, and was having his insides exposed under a white hot lamp.
Arthur then placed a firm grip on Rin's shoulders, and looked at Rin straight in the eyes. "It's alright, you only need to answer with a head nod, or a head shake. Go ahead, there is no right or wrong answer, we just want to know the truth."
His voice was not particularly loud, nor was he making a face of rage. His grip was not particularly strong or painful. He was unarmed and even though he had a big frame, it was nowhere as muscular or massive as some of the guys Rin had sent to the hospital in the past.
So why do I feel as if I must answer him, as if I cannot refuse? Just what kind of person is this guy?
Slowly, Rin bobbed his head up and down. As if that was all it took to satisfy the intimidating man, Arthur released his grip and leaned back into his seat into a completely relaxed state.
"See, that wasn't so hard, was it. So, since I am in a good mood, and as Ashla here said, we really need you to come with us, let me offer you a gift – insight."
"What do you mean by insight?" Rin questioned, feeling a burst of relief as the pressure he had felt earlier dissipated, but that unease rose once more.
"Valuable information, and what to do with it, obviously." After a long silence, Ashla finally chided in with an irritated look on her face.
"The doctor earlier did not tell you this, Mr. Katagiri – by the way, can I just call you Rin? Your last name is a mouthful. Anyway, the hospital has chosen to not let you know that once they discharge you from here, you will be immediately placed under house arrest and put on trial for homicide."
"What!" Rin did a double take. He felt his heart skipped several beats, and almost immediately felt as he had fallen into an ocean of darkness. Arthur, who did not appear the least bit concerned, continued on.
"Truth be told, we did some preliminary digging into your background history, as we do for all patients as part of the profiling process. That's when we came across the fact that you have a pending charge for a recent case of involuntary manslaughter, or if the court is really against you, second-degree murder. Or so I'm told from some friends who work in the American Legal system."
Rin opened his mouth. He wanted to say something, anything, but found himself staring at the two people blankly before closing his mouth. I've been charged with manslaughter, even murder? What the hell is this guy blabbering about?
"Speechless aren't we? I understand your shock. However, the police have already made their existence known. In fact, one has been standing guard outside your room since yesterday. He was playing with his phone, but there's no mistaking his police baton, uniform, and badge."
No, no, no! Why is this happening now of all things. Rin scowled at Arthur. "First you want my help and now you are threatening me. What the fuck are you trying to pull here?"
"Threatening? There's no need for such a tasteless and unproductive method." Arthur replied with total nonchalance even as Rin glared at him. "We are very busy people, and wasting time with threats and lies is not a part of our agenda. I am simply here to explain to you that the man you sent in to the hospital the same night you fell into a coma had died in the ICU. The records indicated he died because of excessive blunt force trauma and internal bleeding of the head. As you can probably imagine, It didn't take very long for eyewitnesses to start pointing fingers in one direction – you."
How could it be possible that the guy died? All I did was to throw some well-deserving punches. I never meant to kill him, but now they are laying down all the blame on me. A surge of emotions enveloped Rin as his mind raced like hamster on wheel. The world spun before him and all color drained from his face.
"What's your point then? That I'm going to prison now, is that it?" Doing his best to hold back the swelling chaos within, Rin stared hard at the white-washed wall and took several deep breathes as he attempted to calm himself.
"Quite absurd, isn't it. Out of the frying pan and into the oven, or fire. Given what I know about the American prison system, you would not like being there. Then again, Rin Katagiri, you are no stranger to the prison, right?"
Rin snapped. "You're enjoying this, aren't you? It's all over your face, you condescending piece of shit. Get the fuck out of my room, now."
"Alright, enough. Arthur, shut up for the rest of the day." Ashla, who was quiet all this time, interjected immediately with a voice several magnitudes louder that even Arthur appeared taken aback.
"Rin, I know you are angry, and this idiot here has definitely pushed you too far. But I can attest that he has also been speaking of the truth. I don't know much about your legal system nor do I care about it, but there's a cop outside, and you have had an extensive criminal record. Given what's happened recently, it's only logical to assume that you are facing a worst case scenario. So let's make a deal."
Rin didn't know what he was supposed to think or feel at this point. Everything to him looked bleak. These people had trespassed into his personal space and life, told him a ridiculous story about mankind's newest enemy, before revealing that his future was essentially over as he was about to be charged with murder. What life is there left for me, Rin thought as words left him.
"A deal? Hah, the only deal I'll be making will probably be with the fucking judge and jury. See what kind of lighter sentence I might get. What else is there to discuss?" Ever word that Rin had uttered sent a stab of pain into his mind and body. Life, as he knew it, was over, even before the DNS disease had struck.
That's right, I lost my job, I have no money, my home's empty and I only have enough money to pay off one more month's rent. Michelle was the last one who had cared about me and now she's gone too. Worst of all, before they can even sentence me I would still have to wait for my hearing for god knows how many months. That's how many months detained, under house arrest, locked in jail, without a means for even the most basic necessities. How can I even return to my friends? I might as well be living on the streets begging for food while waiting for judgment.
"The dream was so much better than this shit."
Ashla looked like she was about to reply with a full fusillade of words, but stopped short of, "Excuse me?"
"I said, the dream was much better than this reality." Rin practically yelled, his true feelings surfacing from beneath. "If the world's truly going to shit, and being convicted and sentenced is just a matter of time, I should have never woken up and just die happy."
The room fell silent from his outburst. Rin clenched his hands until they shook. His eyes saw nothing of the other two in the room, and only straight ahead. He felt lightheaded and his heart racing. The world has always been unfair, and somehow, Rin felt he was in the middle of it, lost at sea and at the complete mercy of things beyond his own control.
At the same time, he felt he also understood the lingering regrets of the survivors: why some of them wished they had stayed stuck in the dreamland and just perish without having to deal with in their opinion, the day-to-day obstacles and suffering of their lives. Perhaps, that too, was what he had wanted, and that was why he dreamt of his past with memories of a family that only ever unconditionally loved him.
"Well, that's unfortunate." An irritated voice echoed through the room, and Rin looked up to see that the scientist had stood up, and her gaze became almost painful to endure. "Why? Because you did not stay asleep; you woke up. You survived while many others did not. And while we don't know if the disease will come for you again, this is where you are right now."
Stomping her feet, Ashla stormed outside the room, and a moment later, she charged back at an equal tempo. Her face was unreadable, and Rin flinched at her aggression, only to have a phone shoved before his face. On it was an image of a uniformed police offer in pure black, with his legs propped up and back leaned against a couch against the wall. He looked completely relaxed with his attention fully dedicated to the phone in his hand, with white earbuds sticking out of his ear.
"See that? Got a good look? Good. This guy is right outside of your room, and Arthur can testify. This is the same officer that has been stationed here for the last two days. You don't need to be a genius like me to figure out that he's up to something."
Rin was startled. He did not expect her to become angry or frustrated. Nor did he expect her to go that far just to prove her point.
"Well, yes, She is correct. That's the cop stationed here most likely waiting for Rin's discharge. Now Ashla, you surprised me there; I didn't expect you to do something so stupid."
"Fuck off, Art. I am just doing him a favor, because this guy's one of those types that won't do anything until you push and push and push until they bleed." Putting the phone back into her pocket, Ashla sat back down and leaned forward until she was mere inches from Rin's face.
"So are you convinced now? Once the hospital kicks you out, the same cop will walk in with handcuffs in one hand, and a warrant on the other. You will be arrested and convicted for your crimes, because you have already decided to give up without a fight. You can try to deny that all you want but at the end of the day, you are just a pathetic loser of a man with no balls. This is the reality you cannot escape from."
She did not yell; she did not spat at him. Her voice was soft and low, yet frigid and sharp enough that cut through him like a scalpel. Her words were low, articulate and deliberate, and they struck every single chord in Rin.
"If all you are doing is trying to piss me off, it's working." It took all of Rin's energy to keep his voice from becoming venomous.
"Hmph, be angry all you want. I'm plenty pissed off myself. For a proud martial artist to be degraded to such a degree, your master must be crying beyond his gr-." Before Ashla could finish her words or even blink, Rin's skeletal-white fist –still attached to the IV – stopped mere centimeters from her eyes.
"Just because you read my history off some electronic device doesn't mean you know anything about me, or my master. So I suggest you keep your thoughts to yourself and go back to your lab." Somehow, Rin was able to keep his voice subdued despite his unsteady gait and sapped strength. But no one could deny that his killing intent was almost palpable in the sterile room air.
After an intense staring session between the two, Ashla bit her lip and looked away. She stood up and bolted out of the room without speaking another word. Still smoldering with anger, Rin ignored her and looked at her companion instead, who had remained all this time in his seat, unperturbed.
"We have a deal." Although Rin was still reeling from Ashla's insult, he confirmed his final choice with concise deliberation.
Arthur, whose face betrayed no emotion other than a slight smile, stood up and gave Rin a warm handshake. "Interesting. What's with the sudden change of mind?"
"Sudden change of my mind?"
Rin pondered about that as he looked at his own hand which was only mere inches from hurting someone else severely. Why did I agree? I didn't even hear everything they had to say. I didn't even get a copy of the contract, and all of it was promises made by word of mouth. But she… that Ashla person insulted the one person she should never have, and that makes me angry... I can't let it go. What's more, I'm out of options.
"If I have to give a reason, it will have to be because I don't have a choice. You people never gave me a choice to begin with. It's as simple as choosing between life and death." Rin smiled dryly.
"Well, you are not wrong in that regard. The consequences are quite obvious. But I hope you don't take it as us forcing you into unsavory situations. It's just that your circumstances are… special, and we want to help. In exchange, cooperate with our research and you will be a free man once more, this time – permanently." Rin didn't know where Arthur got that confidence from, but he sounded so certain and positive that it was hard to dismiss his promises as fake.
But something in the way Arthur looked at Rin felt off. Would a person who cares so much about the wellbeing of the people on this planet possess such vulture-like eyes? Rin shook his head and perished the thought. I should worry about that once I get myself into a better position.
"… Alright, I understand. So what's next for me?"
"Nothing; we'll handle the logistics. After you are discharged home, we will link up with you again. We can proceed from there. Now, I don't intend to keep my colleague waiting for too long, so this is where we part ways. Until then." With nothing more than a wave, the last representative from the Center for Disease Control and World Health Organization left.
Silence dragged on for a few more seconds, before Rin slammed his fist into the wrinkled bed sheets as he swore. After filling the sterile air with profanity, he collapsed back onto the bed like a marionette with its strings cut.
"Damn it… I fell for the oldest trick in the book. But if I had not," Rin mused, "It would have been game over. But that Arthur… how can he be so composed like that, as if it's all a game to him. I can't trust these people after all" Rin concluded, as he was left alone with an emotional vortex.
With nowhere to spend these pent up emotions, all he wanted to do now was to sleep. Perhaps I'll dream again, and maybe, just maybe, something of a solution or relief will come my way. At least, that was what Rin had hoped.
Except, to even hope that things will return to the way they once were, was nothing but a fool's errand and a daydream in itself. Just as Rin was about to close his eyes, a sound all too familiar came from the corners of his consciousness. Glaring into space, he sat back up and searched across the bed for the source of the headache-inducing ringtone. Locating it on the third ring, he picked it up with weary fingers to look at the screen.
"This number… I've never seen it before." Staring at the mysterious caller, he swiped to connect the call, wondering who was on the other side. That was when it struck him like a thunderbolt. Could it be…?
"… Seras?" Under any other circumstance, Rin would have easily dismissed this possibility. However, with everything that has happened, anything was possible at this point.
But a reply did not come – at least, not right away. He sat there, upright on the hospital bed, fighting against the discomfort of his worn body while forcing himself to stare at the screen. He waited for a response. None came. More than twenty times the thought of ending the call had surfaced; many times his thumb had hovered over the end call button, only to hold back at the last second. Any second, he hoped, someone would answer, say something; anything.
After what felt like eternity, Rin finally run out of patience. He pressed the phone against his ears, and spoke into it with the most polite tone possible.
"Clearly this is a waste of time, so I'm hanging up. Goodbye whoever you are." As soon as he finished, Rin ended the call and silence returned to the room once more. But before he could even throw the phone away because of that failure, the phone rang again. This time, a different number but with same area code. Not sure what to expect anymore, Rin answered as neutral as possible.
"Yes, Rin speaking."
"You don't sound like a kid." There it was the voice of a woman he had never met – at least in reality. In an instant, Rin felt an incredible sense of accomplishment and at the same time, life-threatening anxiety.
"Of course not. That was just a dream." Rin replied with a subdued voice while the beat of his heart raged against his eardrums. "And clearly, you are alive and not just a creation of my dream."
"What an astute observation."
That was sarcasm, right? Rin asked himself.
"Now, since you did tell me to call you, I assume you have some explaining to do. It's not nice to drag people into your dreams without permission." Why does she sound angry, as if it's my fault she was somehow involved?
Thinking back to the dream, as if it weren't hard enough to remember every detail, Rin realized that there really wasn't a clear-cut reason he gave the phone number to her. Maybe it was really just to prove that it was not just a dream but something much more visceral. Maybe it was just something so spontaneous he went with the flow as the cage made of dreams shattered and released him back into reality. So now what? Doesn't seem like she has an answer either, but I should still reply, even though I have no answers at all. Rin sighed.
"There's actually no real reason. I didn't mean to drag you into my dream. First of all, I never knew that was even possible. Second, you and I are strangers, so how am I suppose to know who you are and drag you into my dream on purpose? I only know what you know, really."
"Yeah, no. That's unacceptable. Listen, I will say this nicely. You have 5 minutes to give me a satisfying answer." 5 minutes is a ridiculous demand, and more than anything, her tone sound remarkably like that of the people from earlier. It made Rin's blood boil, thinking back of that mess of a meeting.
"I don't know what kind of answer will satisfy you. The very idea that I am responsible and can even give you a rational response is crazy. Look, not even the world's smartest scientists can explain how a dream works. All I know is that not only did it drag you in there, it also trapped me there. I don't know if there was a particular reason, but maybe, just maybe, your involvement had saved me from an otherwise joyful death. Because guess what, the reality I had woken up to has gone to hell. But you don't see me going around asking people to take responsibility for it, do you?"
"Okay, since this conversation is going to take a much longer time than expected, bye." And then she hanged up.
Rin looked blankly at his phone. The home screen remained unchanged. Ten seconds, twenty, thirty…
"I had expected her to be different, but this is just…"
Is this the end of this strange encounter with Seras, and the start of a tomorrow I can't even imagine? Rin wondered as he gazed into the world outside. So bright, and so foreign, San Francisco, this was the world he had returned to – a place he no longer wanted to go back to.
Yet, amidst the thoughts and feelings that were threatening to drown him should he falter, two text notifications appeared on his phone. Were they the vestige of hope or the inviting mouth of despair, Rin will find out soon enough:
Talk more when convenient. This is my number. Do not call unless I call – Seras.
Reminder: You will find in your email the aforementioned contract. Please read thoroughly and sign. You will also find the itinerary for the flight next Monday. If you have any questions, feel free to shoot me a text – Arthur (This text will automatically be deleted from this device in 24 hours)