182A/N: Thanks for the support!
Erica wasn't sure what to make of the story when we all met up later at her place.
When I received the invite to hang out my first thought was that it wasn't a good idea to see Ricky and Kieran again so soon. But Erica made her case with a successful text-bombing and before I knew it, I was across the street–in her basement – re-telling the mascot ordeal.
"So, he was wearing panties?" she asked, perplexed about the turn the story had taken. "Really?"
"Yeah. It was awful. Kody wouldn't stop staring and Ricky lost his cool. Just – fucked," Kieran explained, looking over at my cousin and I sharing the loveseat. He sighed and made as if he was tired of both of us.
"The only thing I wanted to do was beat him up! And all I remember is you two ruining it for me – undressing him for some reason. Homo over here got pretty fucking excited about it if you ask me," Ricky seethed, gesturing to me at his side as the 'homo'.
I objected, but only meekly because it was at least partially true. Travis had done a number on me in those panties and they burned red in my mind as if it had been branded there with a hot iron.
"Kody isn't gay," Erica said matter-of-factly. Then, she turned to me as if implying I should back her up any minute – but I was still focusing my mind's eye on that frilly, lacy– "Kody?"
"He wore those things pretty well if you ask me," I finally responded. "But anyway, besides them, to beat up someone who didn't have a chance?! C'mon, you're better than that Ricky." As family, I was the only one that could get away with scolding him – but that was only if he was in a good mood, which he seemed to be, all things considered. Plus he was probably feeling a little guilty about punching my lights out earlier; the bruise still fresh and purple on my face a constant reminder of his actions.
Ricky looked away stubbornly after giving me a scathing growl and a grey-eyed glare. "It was disgusting, if you ask me. He deserved it."
"Hey – what did you do when we left, huh?" Kieran asked me suddenly. "Had your way with him?"
Erica went white as a ghost – but her eyes were large and interested in my response.
"No!" I said defensively. "Unlike you animals, I made sure he was okay. Ricky tried punching that fucking helmet right off him, remember? But all he wanted was to take me to the nurse's office because of you–asshole." I elbowed Ricky and he got me back, making me wince.
"What–?! You didn't, right? They would'a busted you for your stash!" Kieran said anxiously.
"Of course I didn't go. But, he was all, 'you might have a concussion'." As I spoke, Erica gasped.
"Do you?" she demanded, then rounded on my cousin, placing her hands on her hips and waiting for an explanation. "How could you do that to your family, huh?"
"Kody got in the way! I didn't think he was going to jump in like that!" he shouted, irate and defensive. "I just wanted to get one good swing in, that's all."
"You didn't hold back, either," I said stiffly, indicating the side of my face.
Erica tsk'ed like a mother whose patience was running thin as she inspected the wound. "Boys," she muttered darkly. "Honestly, you're all idiots. Dicks make you stupid, or what?"
Ricky scoffed. "It wouldn't have been such a big deal if Kody just minded his own business."
"Yeah, since when were you such a gentleman?" Kieran asked, blaming me for the unfolding of events just as much as Ricky was; though I couldn't have expected anything less since they were always ganging up on me anyway.
"Yeah, what the fuck? Acting like you're better than us. Just last week didn't you help us stomp that band nerd?"
"That's different," I began to laughter from all three.
"No panties?" Erica sang sweetly by my side. "If you like them so much, Kody, maybe you want to try on a pair of mine?"
I crossed my arms, eyes narrowing to indicate I didn't find it nearly as funny as they did.
"First of all, that band nerd squealed on you for skipping the field trip. And secondly, he was as big as–"
But they weren't listening to me anyway, and eventually I shut my mouth – thanking my lucky stars that was all there was to it.
Later that night I rolled a joint and smoked it by myself.
The trouble was that I needed something to get my mind off of Travis, and drugs seemed like a pretty good answer. Even though the day was already over it felt like only a few minutes ago I was standing next to Travis' near-nakedness. My mind had carefully preserved the image of the thin, sort of sweaty, body – and most importantly, the panties red as ever in contrast to his pale, smooth skin.
Ugh, even as the high took over it was all I could think about.
Just why the hell was Travis wearing those anyway? His own choice? A dare? Maybe I was missing something and they were the most comfortable, obvious choice for mascots? Nope. It didn't make sense - and that was probably why I couldn't get the whole thing out of my head.
To top it off, for some reason Kieran's words floated around in my mess of a head, too.
"Had your way with him?"
What was that even supposed to mean?
"My way," I muttered out loud to nobody, "… with Travis…" What would that be, exactly?
It would definitely have something to do with the panties. Maybe if I was a bit stronger–bolder–smarter... I could have questioned him right then and there about it. I could have put him on the spot and intimidated him into answering me.
And suddenly my imagination carried me away.
In my day dream, I cornered Travis, just as my friends had done, but instead of threatening to punch him, I would put my hands all over him. I'd feel the heat from his body in my fingertips, and although none of it was real, even his ribs were defined as I slid my hands down along his skinny sides. I'd stop at his hips, letting my fingers grace the lacy cloth ever so lightly–teasing the band...
"Do you like wearing these, Travis?" I'd ask in a whisper.
He would nod in that timid way of his–blue eyes glancing away from mine–and the fake admission was enough that I nearly buckled with desire.
"Show me," I'd say. Then suddenly my detailed visions turned to Travis posing in various ways like a model from the center page of my dreams. I was set on positioning Travis and his panties in as many ways as possible. Ass up – legs open –
"Shit," I muttered aloud as one particularly revealing pose had my face burning.
This wasn't right.
I wasn't gay.
I wasn't this obsessive kind of person!
But, I was wrong, as I was about to find out.
For the next few days, it seemed my friends had forgotten, or at least, showed very little interest in revisiting the events surrounding my heroism. Then, one afternoon at lunch, they began to grill me.
"Looking a little worse for wear there, Kody," Kieran noted, gesturing me with a sandwich in one hand while chewing thoughtfully.
Ricky and Erica exchanged a look that didn't go unnoticed.
"What are you talking about?" I asked suspiciously, poking at my own leftover lasagne. I glanced around our table to see that all three of them were openly staring at me and taking in my entire appearance.
Reaching into her purse, Erica withdrew a small pink hand mirror and gestured that I open it. Once I did, my reflection caught me off guard. Toothpaste was smeared down my chin from earlier that morning, but that wasn't even the worst of it. There were bags under my eyes, my hair stuck up in a million directions, and an indentation from my palm being pressed to my face was red and obvious on my cheek. Combined with the bruising and swelling around my eye, I looked like a train wreck.
I snapped the mirror shut angrily but also began to wipe the toothpaste off of my face.
"Not up to your usual standard, is it?" Erica teased. "What's up with you lately anyway? You've been acting strange…"
Ricky leaned in across the table and, looking as concerned as he could ever, patted my hand in a comforting way. "The drugs too much for you baby cousin?" he asked sweetly.
"No way. Kody's dumb but not that dumb," Kieran objected before I could even open my mouth. "He wouldn't be doing that at school."
"Look at him, Kieran. He's clearly high as a kite right now," Ricky argued.
"I'm not," I defended, but rather lifelessly.
"Wait – this couldn't be a girl, could it?" Erica asked suddenly, but she wasn't even looking at me. She was still exchanging dark looks with the others. As if this was the only possible reason for my behavior, all three of them turned back to me imploringly.
My mouth opened to immediately refute them, but then what was I going to say? Travis was plaguing every one of my thoughts? That I couldn't even watch porn without re-arranging the images to project a scrawny guy wearing bright red panties? I'd never been a good liar...
Erica's jaw dropped a little when I didn't answer. "Are you serious?" she asked. "Oooh! Who could it be? I wonder..."
"Cassidy?" Kieran asked, referring to an ex-girlfriend of mine.
"Better not be Angela," Ricky threatened, referring to an ex-girlfriend of his.
I couldn't take it anymore and finally let my head drop with a thud onto the table as my friends grew quiet around me.
Then finally Erica guessed it.
"It couldn't be…" she began. "Kody – are you in love with that mascot?"
Every single one of her words was like a dagger into my soul. Having it said out loud like that was almost too much for me – and I wasn't good dealing with intense, uncomfortable embarassment. "I'm not in love with him," I managed to clarify, but that was all my friends needed to hear before they exploded with laughter.
It was mortifying.
I pulled my hood over my head and wallowed on the table as they continued.
"Aha-ha-ha! Can you believe that? I knew something was up," Ricky said at once, even though it was Erica's suspicions that had been dead-on.
"Wow, it's such a waste," Erica said with a wider-than-normal grin "You're too good-looking to be such a fag."
"Guys, take it easy," Kieran advised seriously. I glanced up to him from my bubble of shame – surprised that he was coming to my defense because he was usually the first to make fun of me. "Kody is just confused." There was a brief pause as I nodded this was definitely the case. I was confused about everything lately. "If he wants to take it up the ass, who are we to judge him?"
I gave Kieran the finger at once. "Fuck off, all of you," I warned bitterly. "Besides, I'm not gay. Aren't guys supposed to like panties?"
"Not ones with great big sacks in it," Kieran said, and they all burst into laughter again.
"It wasn't that big," I muttered, referring to the crystal clear image I had revisited countless times.
But I was drowned out and referred to as Queer Kody for the rest of the afternoon regardless of how many times I tried to defend myself.
It was my opinion that the day from Hell couldn't end quick enough. It was this thought in mind that had me in front of my locker gathering my things before the last period of the day was over. Skipping wasn't something I did too often – at least compared to Ricky – but there were times it was needed to save face.
Just as I shut my locker door, my phone vibrated in my pocket and I took it out hesitantly. The screen displayed my conversation with Erica and her recent messages; a picture of some tits – definitely not hers by the size of them – and captioned underneath, the words: Sure you're not going to miss these?
Exactly how I was going to save face when they were teasing me through texts too, I wasn't sure.
The whole thing put a bitter taste in my mouth and I pocketed my phone at once, marching down the corridors like a man with a purpose. I made it to the library before something caught my eye in the glass windows as I passed. Turning, fate re-introduced me to the boy that haunted my day-dreams.
I couldn't mistake the back of the head I was staring at now – it was that same color permanently burned into my memory. I was willing to bet I had seen this boy enough times in my own fantasies that I could identify him from just one of the beauty marks on his chest, and that was sad as fuck.
My heart started pounding with loud, heavy thumps as I stared at Travis through the window. Once again I was consumed with apprehensive excitement. I was overcome with an increasingly unstable need to see Travis once more. Not just the back of his head either.
I must be crazy, I thought as my feet began carrying me forward into the library. That was the only explanation for my stalker behavior, and I made a mental note to punish myself for it later. That being said, I was already justifying my actions before I sat down a few computer stations across from Travis.
I was only going to have one more look and that was it. One look wasn't going to hurt anyone, was it?
One look.
With every fibre of courage I had in my body, I turned my head slightly in the direction Travis was sitting and then flicked my eyes to him so quick I almost didn't get a look at all.
There was no mistaking it though; Travis was looking in my direction to begin with and our eyes met for the briefest of seconds before I turned away.
I began to panic at once. Fear rocketed from my stomach to my head and made my vision swim. Fuck fuck fuck! He knew exactly why I was there. He probably already thought I was a little unbalanced the way I stared a hole in him the other day and now I was sitting here stalking him? Frustrated, I let my head fall into my hand and pulled at the roots of my hair, trying to manage the sudden downward spiral consuming my mind.
"Kody? Are you alright?"
The voice startled me - soft but clear in the silence of the library. It was unmistakeably Travis, and if I thought my heart was hammering before...? Well, now it was as if I really was on drugs like Ricky claimed.
A/N: So as some of my readers would know I've been itching to try writing a sort of comedic, puppy-dog seme with a bit of an obsession/fixation problem. I am thankful for that small writing challenge for prompting this since I am having fun so far with these characters.