1April is here. The snow has finally melted and the plants are now starting to sprout back to earth. Spring is in the air. Gone are the orange leaves in the trees instead they are replaced by massive green leaves and those sleeping bushes and flowers.
Because there is less chill in the air, we are back on our uniforms. We can still wear cardigan or sweater if we feel cold. I'll be one of the first persons who'll wear a cardigan. I don't really fancy wearing our uniform especially when a part of my shoulder is open for display. And that reminds me to look for a ribbon or a belt to wrap around my waist because my sash is still with him. As a result, I wore a brown chiffon scarf instead. Luckily it suits well with my blue dress.
The first week of the month went fine. That's just putting it mildly. It was pretty bad, truthfully speaking. Madam Lane announced that we will have our end of the term test on the second of April which is tomorrow. Madam Cetate also said that on the sixth she will give us a written test, I thought we are done with it when we are learning the spells in theory. And on tenth we will have our practical test. On the same day, sixth of April we will have our exam in Potions in which fifteen minutes will be on a thirty item test and forty five on brewing the potion correctly. On the third, Sir Bowen gave us a test that covers two chapters. The good thing with tests on History is that doesn't involve any hands on. And on Botany we will have an exam and where we have to identify what is the name of the animal or plants, give its characteristics and if it is an animal we have to feed it. It has been a very hectic week for us.
It has a good advantage on my part though. With overload of work, I was distracted and haven't spent a though on my distress. I don't want to plan my runaway right away. Evading the truth is wrong but as of right now, there is nothing more I want than to pretend I still have a normal life.
I'll be really glad when this is all over, though.
But now I have to study for our last test which is Botany. It wasn't difficult. Memorizing those names and characteristics wasn't that hard to me. I don't have a hard time memorizing things especially if they come with pictures. And I'm lucky that our book in Botany has pictures in every page. The only thing that I'm dreading is if I will be given a red-back frog. I really hate frogs especially that specie. The back is red while on the belly side is yellow. It feeds on decay fruits or sometimes fungi. There nothing really dangerous except that it stinks and the slime that covers its body can give me rashes; which is why you have to wear gloves when handling this frog. I hope I won't get the red back frog.
Cam, Lea and I are on the sitting room on the floor, hunched over our books.
"Carmine Cup. Shaped like a cup, color of red. It has no pollens and it's only planted through cutting. In its ovary, a special sac called oste that stores that juice. The juice is use for medicinal purpose," I memorized waving my hand to and fro like I usually do.
"How are these juices is formed? And when does the oste secrete these juices?" Lea so suddenly popped the question. I frowned at her but she raised her eyebrows in a don't-ask—just-answer kind of way.
"These juices were formed from the water that the plant gets from the ground and then it is being mixed with the plant's scent. They are pale yellow and have a sour scent. The oste secretes the juice almost every day. The juice is very important in the field of medicine. It is used to treat Mesopotamian disease," I answered diligently.
"Syndrome. It's Mesopotamian Syndrome," Cam mumbled from my left. I guess they were disturbed by my noise because they are studying too but now they got sidetracked.
"No, I think it's a disease," I frowned then I scanned the book for evidence.
"I can assure you it is a syndrome," argued back Cam. "Go ask Lea."
Both Cam and I turned to Lea for confirmation which of our answers is correct.
"What?"
"Is it Mesopotamian Syndrome or Mesopotamian Disease?" Lea scrunched up her face before burying herself in the book. Probably looking for the page about the Carmine Cup.
"It's Mesopotamian Disease," she affirmed, nodding in my direction.
I smugly grinned at Cam who rolled her eyes in return and focused on her haphazardly done notes.
Silently, I memorized another plant but the awkward gestures are still there. Sitting on the floor isn't really comfortable but what can we do if all the couches and chairs are occupied. We can't go to my room because it is warmer here nevertheless more crowded and noisy. With almost all of the students having a test this week, we all crammed in the tiny sitting room to study. Those who don't have anything to sit on are on the floor (like us) and some are on the stairs. Libraries closed at night so we don't really have a choice but to study in our treemitory.
"I really can't concentrate here," Lea burst out closing her book with force. A frown marred her face. "Can you concentrate what you're reading?"
"I – " Cam began.
"I can't," Lea answered. Looks like she wasn't expecting for an answer because she dismissed what Cam said. "I've read this page about brittle trees and I can't memorize a single characteristic of it. And it only has seven characteristics!"
"I can study just fine," came Cam's answer.
"Well, I can't," Lea has crossed her arms across her chest and pouted, glaring at all the students who read with their mouths.
"Can't they read without opening their mouth?" she furiously whispered to us.
I shrugged. There wasn't really anything that I could say. "So what do you suggest? We go to my room?"
This halted Lea from her sulking and pondered my offer. "But it's colder and dim in our rooms?"
I narrowed my eyes at her. She is complaining about the noise and when I offered a solution, she makes a comment on it. Most of the time, I can't understand Lea.
We end up staying the sitting room longer. Lea kept complaining about the chatter until I chucked my Botany book at her. I still have to read at least ten pages and she's not helping.
Last period was Botany, double Botany. I nervously swallowed when Liam handed me the test paper. But when I saw the first question I brightened up. This is easy. I scribbled down the answers in my leafaper and proceed with the next question until I'm done. I handed it to Liam and she told me to go out for the practical test and open the boxes number 4, 6, 11, 117 and 125. I took my pen and went some leafaper. When I went out, I saw stacks of wooden crates that are numbered from 1 to 200.
I opened my boxes and luckily there are three that are plants and only two of them are animals. They are labelo worms, which I had the privilege of seeing first hand and the Sucking Python. I threw a tree branch at the worms but I didn't approach the snake. He might jumped and bite at me so instead I threw an apple, a grape and an orange at him. He coiled around it and when he released it all the juice has been sucked. All the foods needed to tame the animals are thankfully just by the table near the door. If it had been beside the crates, I think I'll faint first before I can reach the table.
I wanted to wait for Cam and Lea but Liam immediately ushered me after the test. So I headed to the treemitory and waited for them there. After waiting for an hour, Cam and Lea haven't arrived and I'm really hungry. I'm surprised that Lea isn't done yet with the exam. I was expecting her to be the first but she's perfectionist so I guess she double or triple checked her every answer to make sure that she didn't have any wrong answer. Typical Lea.
I can't hold on my hunger any longer so I had dinner without them. I hope they won't get mad at me. Some of my classmates aren't in the Central Tree. I guess there are a lot of students still taking the test. When I returned to the treemiotry I saw Lea sitting alone, quite relaxed.
"Hey, there you are!" I smiled at her. "So how was it? Easy, right?"
"Yeah, the exam was but those boxes are horrible. I've got four animals and I nearly killed one of them when I accidentally squashed him with my foot. That took me long."
"Mine were okay. By the way, I already have dinner," I sheepishly said, biting my lip. "Sorry, I was really hungry."
"No worries, I'll wait for Cam then we'll have dinner together."
"I'm tired," was Cam's first sentence when she entered the treemitory. She immediately sat on one of the couches and laid her head on the arm rest.
Both Lea and I turned to stare at her in confusion.
"It wasn't easy. It was horrible." That was all she said before she got up and climbed the stairs.
"Are you going to have dinner?" yelled Lea.
"Of course, just let me change these stupid shoes then I'll come down," Cam equally yelled back.
"She really likes wearing those wedge shoes," I shook my head. The only time I wore those shoes I think was when we had to recite a poem in front of the class in Language.
Lea and Cam went to have dinner. I bid them goodnight and said that I couldn't wait for them to come back as I am really tired and want to go to sleep.
"Okay. I really want to sleep right now if my stomach would quit growling," Cam said and patted her tummy.
While Cam and Lea left, I climbed to the stairs and tucked myself to bed.
Now that the exams are over, I should have a peace of mind but it seems like I never ran out of things to worry. Taking the test doesn't exactly mean that I am done with my first year here in Palanole. There are still a lot of things and chapters that we have to discuss. And I'm running out of time. I'm going to do it tomorrow. I will run away just like what I did with the Byrants. When I left them, I thought I would never have to do it again. I found a family here, a place where I belong but looks like I still end up doing what I know best. Running away.
Is this really how my life is going to be?
But anyway, it's not like I have choice. Peony's life is in danger and it needs immediate action, my immediate action. I really have no detailed plan. All I know is that I have to find Aeron possibly with Peony and maybe talked to him in letting Peony go in exchange for me. After that, I have no idea what to do next.
I have to say goodbye to my friends here and then I'll go to the river. It is one of my favorite places here; too bad I can't see it again. Of course, not to mention that I hope I could see Edmund and bid him goodbye too.
That night my thoughts were focused on things that I have to do tomorrow. It has been working overnight, overthinking. I know people said that overthinking never results to something good but I can't help it. Running away, leaving your life isn't as easy as taking a walk for a breather. There are a lot of things I have to planned and prepare myself for. I have to find a way to escape without Cam and Lea noticing me. But explaining to them would be hardest part of it. Even right now, I have a hunched that they're not going to make it easy. They wouldn't just let me walk away and I love them for it but it's something that I have to do. And quite frankly, this task is way overdue. But that's not the only thing that I'm worried about. After I left Palanole, where on earth will I find Aeron? It's not like he has a house that I can just go and knock on the front door, declare myself that I'm his daughter? Or maybe he and Salla do have a house? I'll have to remember to ask Salla about that.
When I woke up the next, I dressed in my usual jean and shirt. But this time it isn't like any of the usual clothes I wear. Okay, maybe it is the usual, shirts and jeans and all. Today I wore the white jacket that Lea gave me over my grey shirt and a salmon scarf wrapped around my neck. This will be a difficult day so I need to be comfortable to overcome the restlessness in my body.
It was Saturday so surely Cam and Lea will wake up a little late. Not so sure with Lea thought. Slowly and quietly, I crept down the stairs, passed the bridge and went out.
The day was fine just like it should be on spring. The sun was blazing brightly. The sky was radiantly a shade of baby-blue and the clouds were the same color as eggshells. Grasses came back to life and flowers are everywhere. I can hear the rushing of the water in the river. Without further ado, I ran towards it and gently rubbed the trunk, boring it into my memory.
I sat on the grass for a minute and recalled every moment I had in this place, by the river and under this tree. The times I had in the grounds of Palanole and even inside of it. Remembering those moments is bittersweet and it makes me want to tear my hair out of anguish. But I know this has to be done. Then I played at the water, picking up some grasses and let it float on the water until it went away.
I recalled the time I had with a certain brown eyes boy who just appeared right behind me. Or maybe I am not that observant.
"Fine day, isn't it?" he said happily rocking on his heels and showing his trademark and stunning smile with his twinkling caramel eyes.
Today he is wearing a white long sleeved shirt with a steel blue tie and a green somewhat cardigan-like sweater. His blue jeans are folded on the bottom to reveal his brown shoes.
"A little dressed for today, huh?" I teased which he returned by mussing his hair and a flush on his cheeks.
He looks ridiculously adorable. Now, saying goodbye will be worse than ever.
"I always dressed up," he reasoned out.
"No, you don't. Usually you're just wearing a shirt with collar or sometimes a t-shirt. All very casual," I grinned. I don't usually tease him but after seeing that shy smile, I'd do anything just to see it again.
"This is casual," He frowned, looking at his clothes.
I could argue and tease him about his clothes all day but the fact remains that whatever clothes he put on, he still looks handsome to me and is reason enough for me to stop. Besides, I was supposed to say goodbye to him, not torment him.
"Yeah," I nodded, taking my eyes off and let it follow on the trail of leaves that I float in the water. With the way he looks at me I'm having those butterflies again. "This is a fine day."
Now this is going to be hard. A part of me doesn't want to bid him farewell. It will be heartbreaking for me. I don't want to make him sad. Irrelevant, if he will indeed be saddened of the news about my sudden departure. I took a lot of deep breaths to calm myself. Or more like drown those worries away.
"You're up early? Relaxing after exams," he chuckled so suddenly, forced. I hate how this conversation is leaning into forced words. But there's really nothing I can do about it. Right now, I am not a good companion, not that I have ever been good at engaging someone in a conversation. Not when I'm dreading the words I am about to say.
"I've had a rough week and I want just a little bit of peace. You know, get rid of all those pressures during exam week," I turned and smiled to him. There's something in the way he looks at me like he is really looking into me and it makes me squirm.
"By the way, have you seen my sash?" I asked. This is procrastination but whatever. I am going to my father and sacrifice anyway. At least I deserved a little bit time and memory with the people I care about.
It took time when he finally replied. He wasn't looking at me and both of his hands are fisted in his pocket.
"Yep, it is with me."
I already know that. Sabel told me that but I just want to confirm if it is true. I didn't say anything except waited for him to say more.
"Sorry, I haven't brought it with me though," The corner of his eyes crinkled.
Darn, does this guy didn't do anything but smile? Is he even aware of the results his smile brings?
"It's okay. You can have it." I shrugged. It seems to be the only thing to say other than to clutched my heart dramatically and tell him to stop smiling.
"Are you sure?"
I nodded. It's not like I can use it anymore, I said to myself.
"Yeah, so that when you see it you'll remember me."
"That's sweet of me, but I don't need a scarf to remember you. After all we will be seeing each other next year, right? You won't be transferring schools or anything?"
I shook my head. A ghost of a sad smile on my face.
More like not going to school anymore, Edmund.
"Keep the scarf as a souvenir, a keepsake from me," I murmured.
Here it goes.
"What do you mean?" Edmund asked, startled. And when I wouldn't meet his gaze, he bowed a little and took a peek behind my hair.
"Phlox, what you are you talking about? Why do I have a feeling that this is goodbye?"
"Because it is," I twisted my fingers and switched my foot. I still didn't meet his gaze. Seeing the sad look on his face will only make me succumb to my selfish desire which is to stay here in Palanole. But I can't.
"Why?" he demanded. He pushed a handful of my hair on my shoulder and away from my face. "Tell me please."
"Because my…fa…father needs me," I folded my lips.
Calling Aeron that is something I can't stomach but seeing Edmund's horror-stricken and anguish face doesn't compete with it.
"Can't he wait for summer?" he murmured. I can feel his breath on my cheek.
"No, he is an impatient man." I closed my eyes.
That's why he kills people just to look for me, I thought.
My senses are hyper alert of everything. I can feel his skin as it rubbed against my cheek accidentally when he tucked another stray hair. His breath is still on my cheek and his penetrating gaze is too much to take.
"But why now?"
"Because it needs to be done as early as possible." Yeah, for the good of many even for a short time.
"What about your mother? Can't she attend to him while you're at school?"
"No, because my mother is also attending….somebody," I shook my head.
"Salla is has to take care of the students here in Palanole. Anyway, they're sort of….separated."
Wait a minute, what did I just said?
Oh my, did I just tell him that my mother is Salla? Did I? Why did I tell him? I really don't know if he can persuade people or forced the truth out of them but it feels like it.
Well, what's the worst that could happen? It is just a quarter of the truth. Surely, it won't do any harm. Yes, but knowing that Salla has a daughter and she's standing in front of you might be too overwhelming to reveal in one setting.
"What?" he asked, looking perplex.
I breathed in relief. I'm letting myself believe that he didn't just hear what I said.
Checking my watch, I saw that it is already nine. Cam and Lea will be up and probably having breakfast. I must go.
"I'm sorry Edmund but I have to go," Finally meeting his face, I wish I didn't look up.
There is so much emotion in his face. It looks blank and disappointed. Threats of tears are forming in his eyes and it looks like he has a lot of things to say but I'm cutting him, not allowing him to say any more. I know if he does it will only hurt and I'll question again everything that I have already set in my mind. I can't let that happen.
I reached for him but he swiveled around, away from my touch. I withered from his reaction.
I know it is pretty daunting of me to touch his face but hey, this is my last day here. Might as well make it worth it.
He just stood there gloomily. His face angled so that I can't see whatever emotion passed on it. I can't bear it to anymore.
"Hey, come on," My voice quivering, trying to be brave and pretending what he just did didn't hurt me. "You'll have another acquaintance," I patted his shoulder. Calling myself as an acquaintance left a bitter taste in my mouth.
"I don't want you to go," he murmured after a few moments of silence. It might take him a few gulps and air for him to finally say it but the important thing is he did say it. This time it was him who is avoiding my gaze.
"I don't want too but I must, I've got to," I sighed, already hating this predicament that my dear parents have put me into.
And that's when he looked at me straight in the eyes, pupil to pupil. I could see his brown eyes clouded. Oh please, don't look at me like that, Edmund.
I faked a smiled for him and raised both my thumbs. "It'll be all right, Edmund." Somehow even saying it doesn't make me feel good. Instead it made me think that nothing will be all right.
"Bye." I offered a small smile at him which for the first he didn't return. There was a glum look on his face and as much as I want to erase that, it hurts knowing that I am the reason for it.
I have to go now. The longer I stay in his presence, the more I will yield. And I can't let that to happen.
When I turn to leave, I suddenly felt a hand grabbing my wrist. I was petrified for a moment. Something warm passed on my hands. Funny how the morning felt chilly. I looked down and saw Edmund's hands intertwining with mine. He held me tightly, never letting me go but gently at the same time like my hands were something delicate. His thumbs slowly drew circles inside my wrist. Controlling my sharp intake of breath, I closed my eyes. Only after I have gathered my thoughts in place did I look up and saw how his face has been creased with probably difficulty and misery. He is struggling with words that he couldn't say. I tried to reread for his face again but remembering his last reaction, I quickly pulled back my hand.
"Stay….please." He began with his voice quivering. He averted his eyes away from me. I get the feeling that this is hard for him. The same that it's hard for me too.
I can't, Edmund. I've told you and no matter how I want to tell you my secret, I can't. The truth will only spin your mind.
"Stay…" His voice trailed, it was barely audible and if my ears didn't strain to hear his voice I wouldn't hear it.
I'd like to, I wanted to say to him. But saying that will only give him hope that I can stay when I couldn't
"Stay….." he nervously swallowed then finally looked up at me. "for me, please. Just one more day. We can go to the other side of the river."
I stared at him dumbfounded. My knees are buckling underneath my weight. Does he really mean it? Does he know what he is talking about?. It isn't a declaration of love or affection. But it closely resembles the fact that he wanted me here with him. And that is enough for me. But that doesn't mean I'll give in to his wish.
I began to shake my head but was halted when I feel him pulling me. The next thing I know I was crushed into his chest. I could feel every contour in his body, not that he is really that muscular or lanky. But I could feel and know where his muscles and I think the muscles in his stomach unexpectedly jumped when my hand accidently landed on it. His scent of mint and ocean all came rushing to me. I never got the chance to smell him so it came out as a surprise to me that I actually like what he smell. Glancing up wasn't an option because he rests his chin above my head while my chin is on his shoulder. It should annoy me that he made me look smaller and fragile next to him but in my current situation, I don't think I have the right to complain. His hands were wrapped around my shoulder and he crooned under his breath.
"If I can't persuade you to stay then give me this few minutes to hold you for the last time."
My stomach did a lurched at what he said.
For the last time. Is this really the last time that we will be seeing each other? I won't see him or any of my friends here in Palanole. No more of the secret escapades with him or the laughter and everyday event of having breakfast to sleeping with Cam and Lea. I can't do that anymore. Walking away from Palanole and into my father's arms hadn't made me think of the things that I could be leaving behind. I was worried with what would happen to me and to Peony that I didn't spare a thought for the feelings of the people I care here in this school.
Edmund.
Mustering my confidence, I touched his hand which was on my shoulder and he softened the grip until he let me go.
I don't want him to let me go.
I looked right into his eyes and whether I found the depth of his loneliness, it doesn't matter. I smiled at him when words ran out of me. You know that feeling when there are a lot of things you wanted to say, to explain but it felt like they aren't enough or perfect for your situation. So you just let actions dictate those words for you. That is what I am doing right now. Through my smile, I am mirroring all those words that I couldn't say and hope that he understands it.
Then I pulled his hands away from my shoulder and I walked; walked away like all those words I just showed in my smile was a lie. I'm sure Edmund got my message but this must've confused him. But what he doesn't understand is that it also hurts me. He has been a very good person to me and he deserved an explanation rather than to have the news fall on his feet and forced him to accept it. I have the explanation and I know he deserves it but I'm also protecting him and all the other people.
I know there'll come a time when I'll look at this and regret. When I'll look back and see what Edmund and I could have if I made another decision. We started out as friends then finally into something more. I'm too young and naïve to understand these things. The peculiar feeling I have in leaving him. Maybe in another time, we could continue our story.
I climbed the stairs hurriedly, grabbing a muffin or two in the breakfast table. The sound I was making has attracted the attention of others but that's the least of my worries. There's nothing I like to do than to cry at this moment but since I can't so I channeled to my steps, stomping all the way to the treemitory.
As the days went on, I was beginning to see traces of Salla in me. Her pride or maybe both he and Aeron are proud, her stubbornness but most of all her strength.
Be strong, Phlox. Always in any way, she said to me on my birthday.
I didn't saw a shadow of Cam or Lea so I'm assuming that they are still in bed or for Lea probably in the library. Exams have just finished but to Lea's it is never too early to study.
When I reached my room, I began stuffing my bag with clothes, the same bag that I used when I left the Byratns. I don't have a lot of clothes except for my blue robe that was given to me by Mia, Lea's jacket and Cam's shirt. I also packed Cristina's notebook and Lairae who was heavily wrapped in Edmund's scarf. Lastly, my parent's photo. If I have to convince Aeron that I am his daughter then I need proof. Though I hardly think he has a line of young girls in his door declaring to be me.
I took one good look at my room, remembering memories and sweeping the place for things that might be useful to me.
"Goodbye," I muttered. Now, I only have to say goodbye to Cam and Lea.
Should I say it to them verbally or should I leave them a note explaining my absence? I know I should do it personally but if I can't find them then they'd have to make do with a note.
Just then the two of them appeared when I opened my door. As if they were waiting for me. Cam was looking at me strangely.
"People said you were making such noise. So we came here to find out – " She didn't continue as her eyes fell and landed on the bag on my left.
"Oh hello," I greeted, chewing on my bottom lip. Planned dialogues and explanation that I've made as I walked here was suddenly gone from my mind. I got the urge to evade the truth.
Lea didn't say anything and I have a suspicion that she already see and guessed what I'm about to do before Cam. I squirmed at their silent attention and switched between feet.
"Well, must dash," I forced a cheerful and bubbly tone out of me and pushed them back. I wasn't even two steps away from them when Lea called me back. Or rather grabbed my wrist and pulled me back until she is leveled with me.
"Wait and where are you going?"
Oops. Should I tell her the truth or should I lie? My palms started sweating and I wiggled them out of Lea's grasp.
"Outside," I mumbled.
"Outside," Cam replied casually and actually made a way that she's thinking. "Does it have trowel, seeds, gloves and scissors in your bag?"
Perplexed, I shook my head.
"Then you are not going outside to do gardening. What will you be doing outside, Phlox?"
Well, she got me.
I can't say I'm going for a walk when my bag is bulkier than my regular school bag.
"Phlox, I think you are lying to us," Lea has her arms and a raised eyebrow. The only thing missing would be her bulging eyes. Sorry, there it goes.
"Why can't you trust us?" Cam said rather sadly. "I thought friends should trust each other."
"I do trust you," I answered back. I became so good at lying that it was more of an instinct for me to lie without thinking.
And why do we always have to argue? It's like 'it's my last day here, can you at least be nice?' I hate how they always see right through my lie and always managed to catch me.
"Phlox, we both know you are lying and that you can't leave unless you tell us. So why don't you just tell us." Even if the control isn't in her hands, Lea still managed to appear like she has control on it. Not to mention that I never heard her in a gently tone like Cam. She's rough on the edges.
"I'm going to save Peony," I blurted out. I'm leaving anyway so might as well tell them the truth.
"What?" They chorused. Not the reaction I was expecting but seriously after I told them that Peony has been kidnapped by my murderous father, what do I expect?
"But your….father," Cam's lip quivered. "He got her, isn't it?"
I nodded.
"Then how are you going to save her? I'm sorry Phlox but if your father could kill innocent lives, then it wouldn't be hard to kill you" I balked at Lea's choice of words. Yes, I know that the day will come that Aeron will kill me but I wasn't prepared to have that truth slapped into my face.
I remained silent. If I vent now, it would only lead to trouble and I'd rather not have on my last day.
"I'm guessing that he also doesn't know that you are his daughter. Am I right?"
"Yes," Lea's way smarter than I give her credit. I first thought that she's only book smart but it turns out that she is also clever in her own way.
Lea shook her head and walked passed me to sit on the bed. Cam and I followed suit. "I can't understand how you're going to do this, Phlox,"
"Can I also make a guess?" Cam raised her hand and a touch of hilarity in her eyes. I'll never know how Cam is able to see humor in dire situations.
As I didn't respond, she took upon herself to think that I agree. "The max of your plan is to march to your father and demand for Peony's release."
"Well, when you put it that way. You make my plan seem…. shallow," Frowning, I rocked on my heels and played with the hem of my scarf.
Lea murmured something between 'typical' and 'ridiculous' which I ignored.
"Phlox, I really support you in whatever decisions you make whether it is silly. But I have to say your plan is ludicrous."
"I know," I hung my head then looked up at Cam. "I could ask someone, I guess. And please stop referring Aeron as my father. He might be but as far as I'm concerned I never had a father for the fifteen years of my life and I won't have one out of the blue."
Lea screamed then stomped all around my room. I followed her with my eyes until she calmed down.
"Oh sure, that will work. You will ask someone if they see Aeron and do you think people will answer you instead of running?"
Lea is clearly overreacting. Okay, she might have a point but nevertheless she is acting way too much.
"Does Salla know?" Cam asked silently.
"No," I shook my head. My heart did a backflip at the mention of Salla. "Please don't tell her."
"You mean to say that Salla has no idea what her daughter is about to do?"
"Lea," Exasperatedly, I shut my eyes and sighed. "Do you think that if Salla knew I could even go out alone? She won't approve it."
"Because it's dangerous," repeated Lea ever since the start of our conversation.
"We even don't approve of you going out after Aeron. It is dangerous Phlox and we don't want to lose you."
I smiled at Cam's sweet gesture.
"I must," I whispered. They won't understand because I refuse to give them the explanation and maybe even if I do they'd still don't understand me. Glancing at my watch, I noticed that considerable amount of time has been wasted. My plan was to get out of here before afternoon. I don't want to get stranded in the middle of the forest during dark.
"Phlox, I'm sure Peony can be saved by Salla. I'm sure she doesn't want her dead,"
"I know that Lea," I buried my face in my palms and groaned. "Salla has every intention of saving Peony. But when would that be? Time is running out and so could be Peony's chance in survival. I have to save her. Please understand that."
Lea snarled, rolling her eyes in the process.
"I know it is a bit of heroic but all this mess is my entire fault. If I had only knew that my father is looking for me then I might as well go with him. Can't you see when I am with my father, he won't kill anymore because he already got me," I explained, giving them a little bit of reason so that they can understand and quit interrogating me.
"But he is dangerous. You'll never know what pops in his head," Lea argued back. I swear if I'm too prideful to give up on an argument then Lea's too stubborn.
"He won't harm me. I know he won't."
Cam is biting her nails while Lea is muttering under her breath and waving her hands around. If she continues that, it will only be a few minutes until she hit my lamp or hurt herself.
"I still don't understand. This girl, this vicious girl who has made life so hard for you, you are willing to offer your life for her? After what she has done to you?"
Lea will never understand until I give her the full explanation. Not to mention that she has a side that tends to be close minded on all the things around her. She tends to see the world in black and white.
"She wouldn't be kidnapped if…" I trailed off. There is no need to continue that sentence. Looking at the horrified faces on my friends, they have pretty plain idea of what I meant.
"if you presented yourself," Cam whispered. This time there is no humor but sadness and dejection.
"Yes," I whispered equally back.
It hurts me that this goodbye would be like this, arguing to each other. We could make this into something better but I'm too secretive to tell them the whole story and they are too stubborn to let me do what I have to do. I can never tell if I can see them again nor continue until tomorrow. I never know if this will be the last time I can be able to see.
The last time. Edmund's words hurt me like a blow to my stomach.
"Listen, I know I'm not telling you everything but it doesn't mean that I don't trust you. I'm not just ready to tell it okay. There are things that I have to figure out. I promise that I'll tell you one day," I don't know if they believe it. I averted my eyes away from them. I don't want to look into their eyes for I might be tempted to read into their thoughts.
Finally, Lea sighed dejectedly and in the corner of my eye I saw Cam's shoulder sag.
"We understand," Lea walked towards the bed and sat beside me. Cam knelt in front of me then wrapped her hands on mine with a smile.
I smiled back. Unable to hold back my emotions, I cried. I don't really want them to see me crying because it looks like I'm going to be away forever. And I'm not but it is beyond my control. I hugged them even though my arms cannot reach them.
"Thank you for everything," I whispered to the both of them.
Wiping the tears on my face with the back of my hand, I turn to look at Lea.
"Lea, thank you for sticking with me though sometimes I annoy you, got mad at you. But thank you for teaching to be strong, to achieve higher goals and to be responsible," I embraced her warmly. A tear fell on her cheeks.
"Cam," I spun and faced her. "thank you for not leaving me alone. You stick with me through good and bad times, through my most insane and eccentric idea. But most of all thank you for making me smile, showing me what friendship means. Thank you for adding a brighter color in my life."
Cam hugged me tightly which I return it equally.
"Let me go, I have to go," I cried through tears, laughing so slightly. I quickly dabbed the tears the moment the leak out of my eyes.
She wiped her tears with her hand. "I wish we could too."
"Cam," I placed my hands on her shoulders. "I need to do this."
"Why do you need to do this, Phlox?" Desperation nearly present in Lea's words. I can't see the tears in Lea's eyes but I know that a moment ago it was there. Her eyes are rimmed in red and her lashes are still wet.
I sighed. "You'll soon understand. After all we can still communicate."
"How?" This seems to brighten up Cam and she sat on the floor, upright.
I showed to her the leather covered notebook with a belt. Realization dawn on their faces and they both nodded in understanding. I took one last hug with them and with utter resolute, walked away from the only friends I have.
And so, I swiftly went out from the gates of Palanole to embrace my tragic life on the half of the fourth month.
THE END
Thank you for reading Phlox!
What do you think of this story? Send me your review even if it is good or bad. I'd like to hear your feedback. This is the first story that I wrote and yes, it is not perfect. There are errors, loopholes, confusing scenes that I must have overlooked. So please let me know so that I can address it on the next book.
Yes, there is another book. It will continue the story but it won't be written in Phlox's point of view but Peony.
Ana