the war to end all wars

the siege


so did you hear the one about the

girl who tried

who gave it her half because that was all

that was necessary

the girl who was quiet and

smart and serious and

reliable and sweet and focusedandlonelyandonherwaytosomewheresomehowand—

who thought she knew where she was going, what she was doing except she

didn't.

no one could have foreseen that she

would spiral into this

to this waste of breathlifethoughtlovefreedom

to locking herself up in her room day in and day out

with food and and an imaginary later, who

had no idea where the hell she was going

what the hell she was doing because her future?

was not written in stone, never

made of concrete, her thoughts were scattered and useless, her efforts

pointless

her will weak and her strength? absent.

because there was something she wanted, you see

many things, but the things, or thing, or nothing, or everything

were out of reach, out of hope, out of sight, out of time

she was the girl who

tried her average-est

who worked as hard as she

needed who gave it one hundred times nothing percent

who didn't know a strength from a wish

a hope from a possibility

a dream from a future

she was the one who needed one hundred times fucking infinity of everything she had but dammit all she has is

herself


notes: just feeling useless, as is common nowadays.


© Copyright 2015 by The Siege