It's been more than a decade since I first fell in love
I caught you like a cold
No one could tell me otherwise
I was twelve years old

Holding hands and kissing, passing love notes in the halls
football games and movies
chaperoned dates and hour long calls
I exalted you, I worshiped you,
ached when we were apart
You were the first person to write his name upon my heart

I wrote poems for you then, too,
and you wrote songs for me
I still hear them, once in awhile
As you strummed your guitar
They made me cry then
Sometimes they still do

I still remember the scent of your house when you first walk through the door,
as powerful now as ever before,
but you don't live there anymore

I remember your room,
your too small twin sized bed
the posters on the wall
I see them in my head

And I still remember when we fumbled in the dark,
hungry and fueled by that unquenchable spark
the nubile angst, that teen desire
that burned between us like a fire
we were hellbound and didn't care

I have to smile, when I think back
to our young love and budding lust
You were my confidante and friend
the one in whom I put my trust

For years you had this hold on me
Until at last you let me go
But even still, you stayed my friend
And God, I miss you so

I remember when we traded pillowcases
so I could smell you in my sleep
I remember the box of notes and cards
and pictures and trinkets
That I threw away when you broke my heart
and I wish that I could see them now,
Your lopsided hand-cut Valentine hearts,
the origami notes scrawled in your slanted hand
I was fifteen when you broke me apart
and it hurt so much I could barely stand
and I cried for weeks and I wanted to die
and looking back now, I laugh and I cry
because I know that life goes on
You learn and heal and grow
but there is so much more of life
that you will never know
I didn't know you quite as well
when you took your leave
but I can't help but think of us,
these teenage memories
the moments we shared that shaped who I am,
the times I had with you
the quiet things that no one will ever know,
nobody else but you
but now you're gone and it's left on me
I remember them alone
the only other witness having gone
and left us all behind
It's strange to think I'll never know
what went on in your mind

I still remember the scent of your house when you first walk through the door,
as powerful now as ever before,
but you don't live there anymore