There once was a man with a hat,
which actually was really a bat.
It sucked out his blood,
and left him in mud,
and went to Hotel Hatastat.

The hotel gave the bat a small cap,
which was cursed with quite a bad rap.
For to the bat's fear,
out sprang a deer,
who squished the bat into bat-sap.

Then the deer donned a fly derby,
and started to vacuum with Kirby.
But a sudden blow to the head
left her quite dead;
the stetson having shot overby.

Out came a bowler, fez, beanie, beret,
a trilby, ushanka, and sombrero, too, hombre.
They gathered in the middle,
one of them played the fiddle,
as they all cheered, "Hat, hat, hooray!"

One thing to learn from this mess,
is that when one will dress,
uncover your hair,
and headgear beware,
and always, always go hatless!