Taking Care of Business

Al couldn't help himself. He leaned back and craned his head to take a peek at the man standing next to him at the urinals.

Just as he thought, the man wasn't urinating. In fact, he wasn't doing anything. He was just standing there.

The man didn't notice he was being watched.

Al finished his business, shook his member a few times, and zipped up his pants. He then flushed the toilet and stepped over to the sink to begin washing his hands.

He kept one eye on the man.

There was nothing unusual about him. He had been hired a few weeks earlier and worked in the Accounting Department. His name was Benson something-or-other, and he rarely talked to anyone.

Al decided to be polite.

"Things busy down there in accounting?"

The man ignored him.

"Okay, did you catch the Tigers game yesterday? Mosen pitched a beauty. Had a no-hitter going into the sixth."

Still no reply.

What a weird guy.

Satisfied that he had at least tried to be friendly, Al finished washing his hands and straightened his tie in the mirror.

Weird, weird guy.

Then the man suddenly zipped up his pants. He turned his head toward where Al was standing, and seeing that he wasn't being watched anymore, quickly shuffled out of the room.

Al stood there, unsure how to react. Part of him wanted to mind his own business and get back to his cubicle. But another part, the part ruled by curiosity, wanted to take a peek in the urinal where the man had been.

Against his better judgment he stepped over to the toilet and looked inside.

The white porcelain fixture gleamed in the fluorescent light. Not a trace of urine colored the bowl, nor were there any signs that it had been used recently. A dark blue deodorizer tablet sat on top of the strainer; it was dry on the surface.

"I knew it," Al mumbled under his breath. "I knew there was something weird about that guy."

He stepped back to the sink and looked at himself in the mirror.

He leaned forward.

He opened his mouth.

He watched as a cluster of worms, some with a girth the size of a pencil, others no bigger than a human hair, squirmed in the back of his throat.

Very good. I see they're almost ready.

He then walked back to the urinal where he had finished his business and looked inside.

There, just below the surface of the standing water was a single worm, writhing in the liquid like a blind snake groping for prey.

And then the creature slipped down into the drain and out of sight.

Al smiled. The latest batch was on its way. They would work their way down into the sewer system where they would quickly mature in the waste. They needed excrement to thrive, which is why they chose Earth to colonize: the abundance of human waste. Then in only a few short weeks or so they would be ready, joining with the millions of others of their kind, hungry and anxious to start the invasion.

Al thought about Benson. He was still learning how to pass the larvae. Apparently he was having trouble.

"Rookie," Al mumbled to himself.

Another man stepped into the restroom.

Al quickly walked back to the sink.

"Morning Al," the man said as he stepped up to a urinal.

"Morning Paul," Al replied with a smile. Paul wasn't one of them, so it was important to maintain a friendly relationship, just to be on the safe side. "Mosen pitched a beauty, huh?"

Paul laughed as he unzipped his fly. "Yeah, great game. That punk Beaumont sure can hit though. He tagged Mosen for two doubles."

Al stepped up to a neighboring urinal. "Yeah, he's a good hitter all right." He unzipped his slacks and began his business. He could feel the worms in his stream, spiraling down to their destiny.

Paul glanced over. "I know it's none of my business, Al, but are you having prostate trouble? I thought you had already finished when I came in. You know, I've got a great vitamin supplement for that if you want it. It'll clear you right up."

"Thanks," Al replied while shaking his head. "But I'm not having problems. Just taking care of business."