april

the etude sky spat chopin vodka rain

and wraiths in white and orange

knee-high socks perched on trees

witnessed the incorrigible horizon weep,

its tears dancing to the tessellation

of blue and yellow, the torrent

bruising its way onto my translucent skin

made of alabaster whilst lilies blossom

in the sidewalk of my ribcage

like a ghost of spring buried

within vintage chinese boxes

.

you painted this parchment city with

your signature splatter of scrapmetal graffiti

as a footnote for rock'n'roll, bleeding

through every rundown virgin exterior

.

i still remembered the pastel crayola

and candle wax art you made

for me on my 9th birthday

.

it's still hanging on my bedroom wall,

like the postcards of the blue lagoon

from where you went to greece

to visit your weird aunt catarina

may

scarlet bell flowers sprouted

like a ruffled chiffon sunset skirt,

the brightness of its flames

nesting in greens

on the covered grass ground

where two pairs of feet stood

- bare, tiny and susceptible

.

we skipped ropes

with skinned knees

on summer days, remember?

and you asked too much questions

for a boy who couldn't ride a bicycle

.

i could have walked away on that fourth week

but the spark in your pumpkin eyes

reminded me of the setting sun

from the temple of poseidon

and how it drowns its beauty

in exchange for serenity

june

the coppertone sunscreen stung my eyes

as it mixed with saltwater from the sea

and i frantically searched for a big rock to sit on

since i was momentarily blinded

and i didn't know how to swim so

it seemed that i was stuck near the shore

while my sisters plunged somewhere deep

.

seashells played the drum-beats of the ocean

as our lips grazed pink banana colada

smoothies in small mason jars while

we held picnics on the beach

.

at dusk, we'd place big fluffy towels

on the sand and gazed at the stars,

fabricating our own memories

with the jellyfish moon,

away from the busy sirens

on the city streets

.

do you remember the way pop rocks

exploded on our tongues

when drinking coca cola?

or how when your eyes met mine,

we could read each other's minds?

july

daylight exploded with a bang

as thunder and lightning

danced like russian ballerinas

in the tea cup skyline

.

we were near the hanging tree

by the lake, the july expanse becoming

undone as you twirled me to

a waltz in the summer downpour

.

this time, we were both soaked through,

our t-shirts sticking to our skin

our first kiss was just as awkward,

like a pinky swear between a lion and a deer

august

the theme for our junior prom

was an italian carnival-

masquerades and mayhem,

gold glitter and stardust

.

you wore a precarious smile,

like you knew something i didn't

.

you dragged me towards

the rose garden gazebo

outside our school,

illuminated by

a kaleidoscope of

strobe lights

.

we witnessed how the sky spun to purplish gold

like the way your eyes shine where the rebel

orchids grow and slither like violet ivy vines

yearning to reach the sky and become one

with the moonlight while singing a refrain

about carousel hearts and tangerine birds

september

with you, time always slows down

like how you shake rainmaker

on an evening gig in the cafe

where we first believed

that love at first sight isn't true

or at least, not in santorini

where september flares the atmosphere

and the sea just sparkles

with the bend of sun's rays

.

you gave me a vintage bracelet

made of multi-layered cowhide strings

with our initials as a pendant,

a reminder that what we have

requires more than just a first glance.

october

our breaths tasted like pumpkin spice latte

while i'm curled up in your arms and sheets.

we savored each others words,

uncurling all the cribbed thoughts

we never dared share with anybody

.

i swear i could stay like that.

writing poetry in each others'

scarred skin,

tracing freckles like little constellations

dotting the path to polaris

and when your lips

grazed the plains of my milkyway skin,

i felt fear

.

for i've never wanted something

as great as the ocean

and it's blue tide is starting to color

sunrise with midnight's cloak.

november

an autumn storm screamed to the tune

of the fierce beating of our pandora hearts

as it played a rooftop monologue

while you swallowed the galaxies

on my skin, reflecting an eclipse

of dawn's reveries

.

and even though our snowglobe moon

was chipped, we held each other

like the ashtray sky

held the cigarette stars

december

we always celebrate christmastime

at the cemetery where your

little sister was buried

.

you nicknamed her sadie because

she was your little prinsesa

and on that same place,

where people lay rest,

where memories rise back from the dead

like wedelias on a summer field

teasing the strings of longing

with its soft advances,

i bid my subtlest farewell

and left you in confusion

for all the words got stuck

in the corner of my ribcage

where your name has started

to etch fear

january

fireworks bathed the velvety sky with splendor

yet it could never equal the picture

inside your lenses where i saw the sun

drowned in may

.

and how the heat

hid itself in the folded linens of yesterday

now i drape my bones with the scars

lost love has owed.

do you still remember me, the way summer

remembers rain?

february

paper cuts reminded me of you,

and the grimace painted on your face

when i said, i can't do this anymore

.

there were silent nights

on clarinet evenings

where lungs could only expel air

of too much hurt

because the day came when

holding on pained more than letting go

.

remember the sunset in the temple,

you were that and stayed that way.

march

i saw our september days

in the drops of rain

on the glass window

where you showed me

the hand crampled cream paper where you wrote

the poetry of how the lines of our palms once met

and how our steps started to separate

our once melded shadows

.

and boy, i miss the sunset in your eyes.

the sea sound like of your laugh,

the bruises you never showed me

every time i let you go

when you were learning how to cycle.

i thought i knew what i wanted

but turns out, i've let it get away from me

.

will you ever forgive the decision

that shattered your heart?

april

i folded another letter, cried another tear,

reminiscing on the taste of the

vintage rain upon my heliotrope lips

.

there was divinity in the dying,

its soft kiss on my nose

leaving remnants of days gone by

and as i stared at the hollow expanse

where the moon meets the sun,

i remembered the moments,

the backseat stories we tell

to the shadows and

i remembered how we lived

.

.

.

note: a collaboration with michelle..

memento-vivere - latin for "remember you must live"