3Four tampons later, he decided to call his mother for help. He grabbed the wireless phone and tapped her number in. A number he had memorized quite well and had come in handy in the past months.
She answered after three rings, "Hello?"
His words were garbled but the message was clear, "Ma, its Finn."
"Hi honey! How are you doing? How is my sweet Lee doing? Is she as beautiful as always?"
Finn cleared his throat. His mother could talk for hours if he very well let her. Wow, this is embarrassing, he thought, "Ma, Lee is having some problems with her, umm, her..."
"Her what, honey?" His mother asked in a very sweet tone, Finn noticed the endless curiosity under it. She was just going to die after this, he thought.
"Her period..." he mumbled under his breath, "She doesn't really know who to call, you know, with what happened with her mother and Miranda in Italy-"
Before Finn could finish saying why he called her, his mother had muttered a goodbye with a note saying she'd be there in a few minutes. Finn sighed. he wondered why the older woman was still as active and jumpy as a school girl. Clementine Gates was never one to back down from any opportunity, especially not one offered from her 24 year old son, who was too old to call her for anything. Before she had jumped into her car, Clementine knew what was to be expected when she arrived. An endless stream of tears, a pink haired girl and an utter mess in the bathroom.
"Lee?" Finn pressed his ear up against the bathroom door.
The sound of sobbing invaded his ears, he felt his heart clench. It wasn't a very pretty sobbing; in fact, he would call it full-blown crying but the fact that it was coming from Lee made his heart crack a little.
"Lee, baby, my mom's going to be here in a few minutes, she'll help you out," Finn said through the door, the sounds of sobbing only increased.
It was a wildly known fact that Leonor Insley was an over emotional person. She cried when she accidentally burnt her cookies, she got extremely excited when she was seeing someone she hadn't seen in two days and she had a bad case of anger management. Thus, the fact had made her a perfect target for the queen bee back in high school and a nuisance for a person with zero patience. The total highlight was her pastel pink hair. It was an understatement to say she had cried ten times more than an average person in her entire lifetime.
Finn didn't care.
He thought she was beautiful, pink hair, tears and all. He couldn't speak much about emotions himself, having met her at the anger management recovery circle. It was different with her, he thought, not one time had he exploded with her. Sure, he was extremely jealous when some dude walked up to her, but nothing he couldn't deal with. He loved her with everything he had, which made him want to cope with her tear ducts. It made him want to help stop those tear ducts every once in a while.
The sound of the front door opening brought Finn out of his reverie. His mother was here.
"Where is she?" Clementine asked.
Finn motioned to the crying coming from the bathroom. Clementine furrowed her eyebrows, worry etching itself on her face. She stepped up to the bathroom door.
"Lee? Honey? May I come in?" Finn waited behind his mother with arms crossed. The door opened suddenly, and all Finn could see was Lee's hair tangled in a rat's nest and her eyes puffed up. Her face was red. There were slight mascara stains on her shirt, which was, in fact, his shirt. He wanted to hug her. In two seconds, Lee threw herself into Clementine's arms. She cried into her shoulder. Clementine patted her back, "It's alright, honey. I'm here. We're going to fix you up."
As fast as she had appeared, Clementine was already shutting the door behind them. Finn sighed, sticking his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and plopped down in front of the TV. He flipped the channel to Nat Geo. Having an over emotional and sensitive girlfriend wasn't easy, but he wasn't exactly the most easiest thing to deal with either. He thought she was a good fit for him anyway. She was definitely refreshing, "Finn?"
His mother called from the bathroom. Finn stood up, turning the TV off, "Yeah?"
"Would you mind taking over for me a second? I need to grab something I left in the car," Clementine opened the bathroom door and motioned for him to come in. They brushed shoulders and Clementine gave him a stern look, letting him know he better watch what he said. It amazed him how much she adored Lee. Almost as much as him.
Finn stepped into the orange bathroom. When they moved in, Lee had decided to paint every single room or space of the apartment a different colour. The kitchen was purple, Lee's closet was pink and Finn's closet was green. Their room was blue and the living room was red. The other bathroom was yellow. Lee was lying down on the bathroom floor, in sweat pants. Her hair was an utter mess and her face was red from crying. She sat up when Finn walked in and sat down next to her. Lee opened her arms and Finn hugged her. She wrapped her arms around his neck.
"I'm a mess," Lee whispered into his shoulder.
Finn hugged her tighter, engulfing her in his arms, "A good mess."
It made Lee smile, "Thank you. I'm sorry."
"Hey," Finn unwrapped her arms from his neck and looked into her eyes. He made sure she didn't look away, "There's nothing to be sorry about, 'kay?"
With that said, he leaned in and kissed her deeply. She returned the kiss for a few seconds before the door opened again and in walked Clementine. She ushered Finn out of the bathroom, whispering that she and Lee still had some stuff to take care of.
If there was a word for being excited over such a pathetic thing as this, Lee sure had it written all over her face. She was leaning forward on the plastic chair, a huge smile on her face and twisting her fingers around in her lap. The counsellor of the circle was standing at the door, eyeing the suspicious pink haired girl who definitely did not belong in the circle. She seemed too eager, too happy over the frumpy-looking-tattoed teens in the room. He shurgged anyway, who knew what her issues might be. He welcomed the rest of the teenagers into the room, letting everyone take a seat before he began.
Most of the young adults were men, Lee noticed. In total, there were eight men, two other girls and the counsellor. She still plastered a huge smile on her face and didn't lose it even when some of them sneered at her. One of them, a green eyed boy even smiled back a little. Lee knew Dr. Nixon had a reason for sending her to a place like this.
"Okay, ladies and gents, now that we're all here, we're going to get started with introductions from the new people," said the counselor, wearing an ugly sweater that looked a bit too small and made his belly stick out, "Anyone want to begin?"
"Me!" Lee said, her voice coming out a bit squeaky, but she didn't care. She stood up quickly, she noticed how most of the people were frowning at her, she felt tears start to well up but quickly blinked them away,"My name is Leonor, most people just call me Lee though," here, she smiled a very bright smile and every one rolled their eyes. She fidgeted with her hands and rocked herself on the balls of her heels.
"How old are you, Lee? And why are you here?" The ugly-sweater man asked. Lee knew he didn't mean to say that last part so rudely, but she still felt the tightening in her stomach.
Her smile began to fail her, she looked down at her hands and shifted on her feet, "I'm twenty-two," she said, "and I'm here because my psychologist recommended this group to me. I have a bad case of being a HSP. Highly sensitive person. I can't help it."
Lee dropped back down to her chair in a huff, wondering why these people were so rude. This was supposed to be a recovery circle anyway!
"Lee, this group is open to anyone who has a problem keeping their emotions in check, right guys?" Ugly-sweater asked.
"Is he calling me bipolar!?" A teen boy shouted, breaking the tension. He stood up, his face red and looking furious. His friend, who had tattoos covering from his hairline to his big toe, stood up and stopped him, pushing him back down into his chair. Ugly-sweater counselor dismissed the behavior as if a fly had just flew past him.
After another two introductions from a boy with a bad case of acne and Mr. Bipolar, Lee thought this group was boring. She found herself staring out the window at the blue sky or fiddling with the hem of her blue skirt. That is, until one of the girls began to open up about how she was doing a good job of not getting angry up until her boyfriend hit her. The girl was pretty, with blue eyes and brown hair, but everybody was staring at the bruise that had formed itself without shame on her cheek. Lee began to cry.
Tears slowly rolled down her face, she reached into her purse, where she found one of the five small packets of tissues she kept. She wiped them away and blew her nose into it. Then, the girl began to go into even more detail and Lee began to sob. Before she knew it, she was hiccuping and had already used four tissues.
All eyes were on Lee. Even the girl that was sharing her story stared at her, as if she couldn't believe it. One of the boys rolled his eyes and snickered. Lee cried harder.
"I'm sorry," Lee said, between tears.
The counselor shook his head, "Don't worry, why don't you step outside for a minute? Grab some water. Finn go with her."
The green eyed boy who had smiled at her from earlier stood up. He rolled his eyes. Lee thanked the counselor, grabbed her purse, took one last look at the girl and was about to step out when she turned around and quickly reached out for the girl, hugging her tightly. Lee whispered something into the girl's ear before finally stepping out of the room, leaving the girl dumbfounded and everybody's eyes watching her retreating form. The green eyed boy followed her one step behind.
They walked out into the open air. Lee's hiccups went away while the boy stepped back inside then came back out with a small paper cup filled with water. Lee smiled her huge smile at him, taking a sip and thanking him. The boy only nodded and stuck his hands into his pockets. Lee finished crying silently.
"I'm Lee," she said to the boy, wondering if maybe the boy missed her name.
The boy nodded again, "Finn."
Lee smiled wider, "Pleased to meet you."
"Same," Finn said. Lee started to notice how handsome he really was, probably a few years older. She hadn't really noticed him but he was cute, she began to think. He had dark wavy hair, green eyes and slightly pink lips. Scratch that, she tought, he was plain bordering on being sinfully hot. Her cheeks began to redden and she wanted to slap herself for being so damn obvious about everything.
Lee felt conscious about her emotional self once more, "Sorry you had to see that, I try and try to keep my emotions to myself but I swear I can't control them. They're all over the place!"
Finn chuckled, "Don't worry, my anger is all over the place all the time."
Finn thought she was the weirdest girl he had ever met. She was very weird. She seemed innocent at twenty two, but he guessed that's what crying every three seconds made you look like. "Anger management?"
"That's what the group is about," Finn said. Lee took another sip of her water and stared at the parking lot they were facing.
She giggled, "Or, you could, you know, be like me..."
Finn actually laughed. He couldn't even remember the last time he cried over some stranger's bullshit like Lee had just done. She stared at him with a smile on her face, a smile that asked what he was laughing at. He found it funny she thought he was a highly sensitive person.
"Or maybe not," Lee concluded. She shut down and felt a knot forming in there throat but ignored it.
Finn let his laugh die down, "Not laughing about you," he said, "Nothing wrong with you being the way you are. We all have our traumas."
Finn noticed the way her eyes sort of retreated into her soul when he said traumas. He knew this girl had something she wasn't going to talk about. A silence eluded both of them. Lee faded into screwed up memories and Finn noticed the scars on her wrists.
"Would you like to go back in?" Finn asked her.
Lee tossed a glance towards the brick building, "After how I humiliated myself? No thanks. I might as well go home."
Finn ignored the dissapointment he felt, it was stupid anyway, "Okay, I'll just tell Paul you decided recovery circle isn't for you."
"Thanks, Finn," she smiled at him.
He shurgged, "No problem, Lee."
"Oh no!" Lee said out loud, the words echoing through the grocery store, she was standing in the licquor section. Lee stared at the broken bottle of wine at her feet, the liquid seeped into her flats that wore a pink bow. She felt the tears coming, failure crashing itself into her chest. She shut her eyes, willing the tears to go away. "Oh no. Oh no. Oh no."
But no matter how hard she tried, the tears came. She started to pick up the broken pieces of the wine bottle, her brain willed her to call out for Finn, but she decided against it. She was a handful enough as it was. She knew she was a mess. A mother and her daughter walked past her, the mother giving her a look that was enough to make her heart ache.
Two aisles over, Finn was debating what flavor of cake mix to take. Chocolate was good, but Lee had made chocolate cake last week. Vanilla was a good choice too, but he knew Lee wasn't that much into vanilla. Red velvet it is, he decided. He grabbed the box and placed it into the cart. A woman holding the hand of a small girl stood next to him. He couldn't help but overhear their conversation.
"What was wrong with that girl, mommy? Why was she crying?" The small girl asked.
The mother hissed in a low voice, "She accidentally broke the bottle of wine."
"But why was she crying?"
Finn froze. He knew a person who would cry over breaking something. The mother answered in a low voice, "There are very weird people in this world, Tay, make sure to stay away from them."
Finn felt anger boil in his veins but before he could give out a harsh verbal lashing out to the woman holding her daughter, he grabbed the cart and pushed it to the licqour section. When he arrived, his eyes confirmed his suspicions to be true. There was Lee, carrying broken pieces of glass in her hands, tears streaming down her face and her blue dress stained with red blotches of wine.
"Finn," she whispered.
In two seconds, Finn was by her side, "Don't worry, baby, leave it here, we'll ask someone to pick it up."
Soon enough, an employee arrived. He cleaned the mess up with Lee and Finn's help due to Lee's insistence of picking it up herself. "I'm so sorry," Lee repeated over and over again to the employee.
After some "it's okay", "don't worry" and "it's nothing", the employee's patience was bordering on explosion. One more apology and he would lose it, he swore to himself.
"I'm sorry, really, I am," Lee said in a soft voice. Finn recognized the expression of the employee. He knew it quite well, it was one most people wore when his girlfriend was around. He felt his face turn red with anger.
"Stop apologizing!" The employee broke loose. Uh-oh, he thought, when he watched the pretty girl's face contort and turn around. What he was watching intently now that was freaking him out, was the girl's boyfriend.
Finn stared at the man, and if looks could kill, Finn had already shot three bullets, hung him two times and burned him at the stake.
"You do not talk to her like that," Finn said, threat lacing with his tone, "No one talks to her like that."
The manager arrived and told the employee to rack off while he apologized profusely to Finn and Lee, saying they wouldn't pay for the bottle anymore due to lack of client attention. After they strode out of the grocery store, Lee was still clearly shaken up. She walked with her arms around herself and her head down.
They drove home in slience, Lee not even making an effort to tangle her hand in his like she always did. Finn knew she needed a few moments to herself, so he let her be when they arrived. She locked herself in the bathroom for a few minutes before finally coming out. Finn's relief was evident when he noticed her wrists were intact. They ate dinner in silence, Finn gave her enough space. He knew he should stay out of it until she talked to him. So he cleaned the kitchen up while she put her pajamas on.
When he walked into their bedroom, he saw Lee's curled form under the duvet. He heard her sniffling and his heart broke a little. He lay down next to her body, on his side of the bed.
"Lee?"
Her pink hair appeared from under the covers and he reached his hand out to slip a strand of it behind her ear. Lee's puffy red eyes looked into his and he knew the day's incident had touched a part of her soul she liked to keep in boxes.
"I love you, okay?" Finn told her, sincerity slipping into his voice easily.
After a few moments of silence, Lee spoke up, "Would you love me more if I wasn't emotionally in ruins?"
Finn slipped an arm around her, puzzled by her question, "No, it's a part of you. It makes you who you are. You're pretty damn amazing the way you are."
A tear slipped down her cheek and Finn rubbed it away with the pad of his thumb, "I don't deserve you," she said in a low voice, before flipping the other way on the bed.
"Lee, come on, that's bullshit," he said, slightly amused because he knew how stupid that sounded. Him? Not deserve her? He swore it was the other way around.
She turned to look at him, "Why are you even with me?"
Finn took merely seconds to answer, "Because I know that you try your hardest to control your emotions. You're doing your best, okay? And that's what you have to do right now. You walk through life with open arms, you feel everything and that is perfectly fine. You brighten things up."
Lee didn't smile and Finn was starting to get worried, "You deserve someone emotionally stable."
Finn laughed, "Baby, I've been with emotionally stable girls and they have nothing on you."
He reached for her arms and tugged her into him. Lee tangled her legs with his and fell into his embrace. Finn ran a hand through her pink hair. Her hair smelled like strawberries. They stayed like that for a while. Finn breathing her in and Lee resting her cheek on his chest, "I love you, Finn."
Finn silently placed a kiss on her hair and Lee smiled. Her chest felt fuzzy and she looked up into Finn's eyes. She leaned into him, their noses nearly touching, their heavy breathing the only sound surrounding them. Lee pressed her lips against Finn's, as she had done before in the early morning or as a goodbye, this time, however, Lee tried to let Finn know how much she felt for him through a single kiss. Finn responded, cupping the back of her head and pulling her harder into him. "You're everything to me," he breathed, "don't dare to think otherwise."
"Leoner Insley," the nurse called out, "Dr. Nixon is ready to see you."
Lee stood up from the cold blue plastic chair. She took a deep breath and began her journey to the place she had once hated. Now, the place looked like another office, another step, Lee would even go as far as to say she can safely ignore the pristine white walls and look forward to seeing the funny Dr. Nixon.
The nurse led her through the quiet halls; meanwhile, Lee took calming breaths to ease her jumbled mind and calm the rush in her veins. Soon enough, they were outside Dr. Nixon's door. The nurse opened the door and there was Dr. Nixon sitting down in her black chair, with a smile on her face awaiting one of her most interesting clients.
Lee had seen this woman so many times in her life, she was already used to Dr. Nixon's eyes on her wrists every time she came into the room. After all, those scars were what got her into that room in the first place.
"Leoner Insley, I was starting to miss that smile of yours sweetie," the middle-aged woman said once she saw the pastel pink hair. The nurse closed the door behind Lee and pushed her into the room. For all of the psychologic counseling Lee had been to, there was a reason she had chosen to stay with Dr. Nixon: she was by far the weirdest psychologist she had ever met. Definitely unlike the others. And the only one who had managed to help her cope with her fair handful disorders.
"Dr. Nixon," Lee smiled, "it's only been a week, like always."
"I'm glad to see you so happy, dear, it seems as if that boy of yours is doing you some good."
At the though of Finn, Lee smiled and took a seat on Dr. Nixon's beige couch that had probably heard hundreds of tears and frustrated conversations. "Well, what can I say? He's pretty awesome."
"Bring him next time," Lee took her shoes off and pulled her feet up up to accommodate herself on the couch, "He's quite a catch that young fellow."
"Yes, he is," Lee would make sure to not bring him next time. She wanted to keep Finn away from anything that included her problems with being an HSP. He's had his servings of breakdowns as it is.
"So, Leonor, how has it been, honey?"
Lee sighed, "I've been good."
"Just good? What emotion has been taking its toll lately?" Dr. Nixon asked.
"I guess I'm happy… I mean, I'm in love, like really in love but I have my moments," Lee noticed how Dr. Nixon tried to hide the glance at her wrists and Lee tugged on her sweater, "It's been more than a year, Dr. Nixon."
Dr. Nixon pursued her lips, "I know. I am so proud of you, sweetie. You are so strong and you know how much I believe in you."
These talks never got old, Lee thought. She smiled at Dr. Nixon, "Thank you."
"What about his sister? How has that been?"
Lee looked down at her shoes, they were worn out and she made a mental note to go buy some more ballerina flats, even though she knew she was starting to use some of Finn's shoe space because hers was overflowing. "Ophelia called last week to say she's getting married next month."
"Really? And how do you feel about that?" Dr. Nixon jotted down notes in Lee's file. Lee noticed how the air smelt of pine trees and something that resembled vanilla but not quite. Lee changed position on the couch, hanging one leg over.
"I guess its okay with me… We're not going though, its on the 25th and I just can't," Lee said frustrated, Dr. Nixon urged her to go on, "Not that we don't want to but I've got university and I know flight tickets are cheaper when you're only one person. I don't have enough savings."
"But darling, its his sister's wedding, don't you think it might be just a little bit important?"
Lee tried to stay straight-faced but any matter that concerned her sister made her stomach twist and a lump form in her throat. Dr. Nixon knew this moment was coming and handed her a box of tissues, "I really don't know if she wants me there. She doesn't know me and I don't know if she'd let him take me. And if I can't pay for it, then I don't want to go. What if I have some sort of breakdown or something? What if Finn offers to pay for me? I'd rather say no from the beginning."
Dr. Nixon nodded, "I guess you should talk to him about that. He should understand."
Lee agreed but she couldn't help the crack in her voice, "And with Miranda in Italy, the only real person I have is Finn. And maybe Miranda's family but they're all the way over in Napa Valley and even if we visit them sometimes, Miranda or Will aren't there and I just miss them."
"Then you should go visit them," Dr. Nixon shrugged.
"I want to, I really do, but I don't know if I could afford it…" Lee blinked away the small tear gathering at her left eye.
Dr. Nixon sighed, "It's too bad that boy of yours is loaded with money."
Lee gasped, "I would never! I will not ask Finn for money to go visit my best friend and her husband! Nevertheless to ask him to pay for my flights and the hotel room for his sisters wedding."
"I was merely offering a suggestion, my dear Leonor, think of it as a trade. You keep him a happy man and he brings you with him to this Caribbean wedding. Tell him you feel lonely."
Lee blinked, "I thought you were my psychologist not some person encouraging me to trade sex for a vacation."
Dr. Nixon laughed, "Honey, I do not want to know about your sex life, I'm sure Finn keeps you happy and you can save those details for your gynecologist."
Lee smiled, she had forgotten how easy-going Dr. Nixon could be, "You're a very weird person, Dr. Nixon."
"So are you Leonor Insley, but I guess that's the very reason we understand each other," she smiled at Lee and got a laugh in return, "but I do have to accept sweetie, your hair game is getting really mean, like you just stepped it up to a whole new level."
Lee offered her a bright smile and flipped her hair over her shoulder, "Do you like it? I think it matches my personality."
"Like it? Sweetie, I love it! I loved how you diminished the color a little so now it just looks like a faded pastel pink at the edges," Dr. Nixon gestured to her hair.
Lee smiled and stepped up, "Want to see something else, Dr. Nixon? Sarah just sent me some pics of her baby boy, he's so cute!"
Lee stood up and began to rummage through her purse, mumbling about her cellphone and Dr. Nixon smirked. This is what a normal session with Leonor Insley was like; an entire roller coaster by itself. She loved the young girl and admired her strength; she could clearly see how difficult it was to be an HSP. She had gotten clients dealing with major depressive disorder, mania, bipolar disorders, anxiety disorders and ADHD. A few people had come to her with one of these or some of these, but few of them with such a bad case such as Lee. She had gone from cutting herself to going on a holiday because she just felt like it in a few days. And by far, Lee was the most kind-hearted and the one with the wildest spirit of them all.
"She named him Maxim Francis Elliot, isn't that the cutest name ever? I wasn't so sure about adding the Francis but I thought it was a cute touch… He's adorable," she brought her cellphone over to Dr. Nixon who gushed over the pictures of a baby boy with big blue eyes in a onesie. Lee got so excited talking about her best friend's older brother's newborn that she almost forgot the important news she carried.
"He's adorable-"
"Right? But you know what's even more amazing? So far this month I've only had four breakdowns and they weren't even that bad, isn't that very cool?" Lee said, clearly eager for the Doctor's beaming smile and proud face.
Lee received the expected reaction, "That is amazing Leonor! I'm so proud of you honey, your progress has been amazing. I want you to keep it up."
Lee brushed the hair out of her face and beamed, glowing at such good news, "No more breakdowns this month, I swear."
"I will most definitely hold you to that."
Finn's eyes widened once he saw her in her robin egg blue bikini. Lee couldn't help but giggle, "Stop staring." She attempted to cover herself before she glanced at him. A year and a half later and she still couldn't hide her admiration for his body. Something that made her ache for him every single time.
"I can't," he admitted, "you make it hard not to."
It was two in the morning and the hotel room was lit dimly, making shadows on the wall with their shapes. Finn stood in only his swimming trunks and to be honest, she couldn't help stop staring either. "Don't you think we're crazy for doing this?"
"You've got to live a little, baby girl," Finn smirked at her. He encased her in a hip-crashing hug and leaned down to plant a few kisses on her lips before heading down to their midnight adventure. The kiss started escalating to a full make-out session before Lee carefully pulled away.
"We'll have some time later," she reminded him, "you've actually got me psyched for this."
"I plan to hold you to that promise," he winked at her and she couldn't help but erupt into a fit of laughter. He opened the hotel room door for her and she passed through it. "And very thoroughly I might add."
He knew that with that comment her laughter would cease and red would take over her cheeks. He got a kick out of making her blush. He knew she was still getting used to all of his sexual innuendos and he didn't mind making a remark on it every once in a while. She had this innocence to her that made her femininity stand out even more when they weren't inside their bedroom. However, he knew it never stopped her from being shy. In fact, it just made her all the more enthusiastic during sex.
They stepped outside of their own cottage and their feet padded down the small steps to the ocean and their own private pool that faced it. It was small but nevertheless it was more than Lee could ever dream of. It was a place of dreams and she couldn't help but feel indebted to Finn. Sure, it was his sister's wedding and he had invited her but she couldn't help the feeling of uselessness. She would never afford to take him to a private Caribbean island resort.
"This place is beautiful," Lee remarked as she stared at their cottage suite that stood at the edge of the ocean and the luxury it offered that made her breath catch. The island was deserted except for the magnificent resort were Ophelia had held her wedding. Finn being the bride's brother had luckily gotten one of the best villa's on the farther side of the island. It was more than anything Lee had ever dreamed of: a beach-front villa only for them with luxurious amenities and a paradise she had only dreamed of. The best thing about it was, in fact, Finn.
"And you doubted coming here… I'm glad you did though," Finn stated. Her body was calling his and he quickly picked her up mid-screams and giggles and dropped her into their private pool. She screamed at him to stop in between laughs that made both of them explode with happiness.
He gripped onto her hips as she laughed and scolded him. He couldn't help throwing his head back in laughter as she splashed him with lukewarm water. She intertwined her arms behind his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. They made out for a couple of seconds before she pulled away.
She leaned toward the edge of the pool and looked towards the Caribbean ocean. It looked pitch black except for the lights coming from yachts and sailing boats. "You know, Lee, I think I'm in love with you."
"What a coincidence," she flirted, "because I'm definitely in love with you."
He hugged her middle from behind, "I just can't help it, you know. Seeing you here, in my arms with this view, I think I just might marry you."
The words made her freeze, "Are you proposing?"
"You know maybe I am." Lee's breathing hitched and she felt herself go stiff in his arms. She slowly turned around and twisted to peer at his face. She couldn't help but feel herself go weak at the sight of his strong jaw and those lips that made her cuss. He was something.
"Finn…" she whispered, letting her words get lost in the humid midnight spring air.
"I know, I know… It's too soon, but in some future, I do intend on marrying you," he stated, matter-of-factly. A smile graced her features and her heart thumped so loudly she knew he could hear it. His fingers traced figures underwater on her flat tummy.
"You do intend on marrying me?" she asked, rather flirtatiously, she managed to jump a bit before hooking her legs around his hipbones, securing her feet behind his back. He placed his hands on the bottoms of her bikini, holding her in place.
"And I also intend on taking you on a well-deserved honeymoon, too," he confirmed. Her heart jumped at the sound of honeymoon. She never imagined having a honeymoon, but with Finn, the idea just sounded completely perfect.
"And what do you intend on doing in said honeymoon, Mr. Gates?" she toyed with him but at the same time feeling her cheeks heat up by falling into his game of sexual suggestions. She had unconsciously, or rather consciously, fallen into his amusement of this sort.
"I wouldn't mind showing you," he teased. Slowly letting his fingers play with the sides of the bottom part of her bikini. she giggled before pulling away from his arms. She couldn't help but feel adored by the way he stared at her.
"Maybe I should show you for a first," she played with him. He could only watch as she played with her hands underwater, doing something Finn knew he was going to go crazy over. Slowly, but surely, Lee pulled out her robin egg blue bikini bottoms from the water. "Do you consider this, finally 'living a little'?"
Oh what this woman did to him, Finn thought.
"Finn, please," Lee begged, trying to hide the crack in her voice, but failing desperately. Tears streamed shamelessly down her face. There were no words that would make him stay and she knew it. He wouldn't care if she shoved herself at his feet, he didn't care if she begged.
He didn't care. She knew he didn't care and that any attempt would just press him on further. Push him farther away. That was the last thing she wanted now. She knew how his anger worked and it was a tight roller coaster that, that night, seemed like it could only be going up. Too many times had she been the one to defuse it, but this time, she knew it was her who was throwing wood into the fire.
"Please don't do this," Lee cried, her face was blotched red. She took a step closer, seeing his shoulder tense even more, she fell back. No pain had ever compared to what Lee was feeling. Her chest was heaving and she felt like dying.
"There is a reason why I chose you," Finn said, his voice tight and cold, "you're different."
He pulled his bags up to the front door. Lee's silent tears made his heart bleed but nothing was making him stay here no matter what.
He gave her a silent glance, her hair was sticking to her tear-swollen face and her lips were trembling. She was breaking, he thought… but so was he. Her bottom lip quivered and in that moment, he could see her for who she was, a girl worth a lot more than all this emotional wreck that they both were stuck in. It was certainly a failing combination, him with anger issues and her with a strong case of emotions. the fact that it only made him love her more made his insides twist.
"Finn," she whispered, her voice croaky, "Stay. Please."
He sighed. He clenched his fists, "We could have never worked out."
"We can work out," Lee's heart thumped at the hope of hearing him speak to her, "We will make it work; I promise we will. We're good for each other."
"Look me in the eye, and tell me we aren't breaking each other," he said firmly.
"It's part of a relationship. We're healthier than most relationships out there…" tears continued tracing their way down her cheeks. She sniffed and his heart broke seeing her. She was a very strange human being… but Clementine had always said that, nothing was worth more than a person who you could be completely strange with but could also get naked with at the end of the day. And Lee fit the ultimate description.
He breathed in, "I can't keep doing this to you."
"I love you." She didn't know if she was saying it more to herself than for him. She wasn't herself without him. He took a step closer to her and cupped her cheeks with both of his hands. She sniffed and wiped away a tear.
"Lee, listen to me baby, we need to figure ourselves out first… We need to be okay with ourselves first. I can't keep doing this to you and you can't keep blaming yourself for everything. We have to patch ourselves up first. Bad timing, baby, bad timing."
She leaned her forehead onto his, "Promise me you won't forget me." His purely male scent invaded her senses and she breathed it all in. She kept trying to let it stay in her lungs for seconds longer…. almost as if she were afraid it would be the last time she could absorbe it.
"That, never," he confirmed, "I never said you were the wrong person."
"Is it no use if I try to convince you once more?"
He closed his eyes, "Let's not keep on hurting each other."
He wiped away a tear with the pad of his thumb, "Does this mean you don't love me anymore?"
"No, actually, quite the opposite, I feel like I love you so much that I know that what we have here isn't helping any issues both of us might have…"
"How much time will this take?"
"I don't know…" He kissed her forehead one last time and was going to take a step back but not before she pulled his head down for one last kiss. Her lips were soft and tasted a bit salty. Lee felt like her soul was exploding and he could never be enough. She wanted more, in fact, she would always want more.
They didn't say another word afterwards and with that, Finn grabbed his bags and left.