Temperament slightly hot

Obsessive tendencies mildly odd

Vulgar sitting position at lunch

Like an old Vietnamese man-very hunched

Posture horrid, eyebrows sparse

Charisma nonexistent, prone to farce

Bed hair like a barbarian's bum

Suspected nose picker- or just really dumb

Stinky, sticky, weird-looking feet

Inexplicable abhorrence towards beets

My family is aesthetically pleasing, you see

So instead I opted

To write about someone

Who's probably adopted

(That is to say, ME!)