She's looking across the room at her classmates.
Her gaze lingers longer on a beautiful girl on a laptop.
Seraphina wishes she could talk to this girl. Her mind is a blank whenever she is around Thalia. Seraphina is sure that Thalia is the most gorgeous girl that she has ever seen before.
Seraphina has been struggling with her sexuality for a few months now. Her parents are so homophobic that they don't even allow her to say 'gay', but she thinks that she might be it. She has never been attracted to boys. Her mother asks her if she's interested in any boys, but she always says no. Seraphina has seen her mom's frown when she says no, though, so she has named a boy in her class, Jason, who the other girls gush over and think of him as 'hot.' Personally, Seraphina doesn't know why they would ever think he is. She sees him as a normal boy. Nothing out of the ordinary.
But when she first saw Thalia's smile, she couldn't believe how genuine and pretty it was. And she's been harboring a small crush over her for a month now.
Seraphina doesn't know Thalia's sexuality. But the way Thalia looks, she seems like a boy magnet- and Seraphina hopes that Thalia doesn't like them back. She's never had a boyfriend as far as Seraphina knows.
Seraphina doesn't know much about her, mostly due to her freezing up when she is around Thalia. The two of them have been partnered up many times before, but they work in silence. An awkward, uncomfortable silence. Through most of which Seraphina is trying to hide her face.
Seraphina isn't pretty, but she isn't ugly, either. She has plain dark brown hair, glasses, and chubby cheeks. She knows Thalia deserves much better than her, but Seraphina is selfish. She wants Thalia all to herself.
And Seraphina feel so small around Thalia. Seraphina has been promoted a grade, and Thalia is a grade above her, so Thalia is two years older than her and she thinks the age difference might make an impact. She hopes that it won't though. If Thalia likes girls. If she doesn't care about her appearance or age. If she likes her. If she's willing to be seen around her.
That's a lot of ifs. Seraphina doesn't think the odds are in her favor.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Seraphina goes home to write down her emotions on paper. She spills out how she feels about Thalia and her fears about her and insecurities. She writes about her hopes and feelings, shoving the writing aside when her mother comes in to check on her.
Her mother, like usual, is talking about boys. Some days she feels like her mother suspects her real sexuality and wants to make sure that her daughter is indeed straight. And Seraphina answers as she always does, this time fake squealing as she fibs that Jason picked up her pencil for her and smiled at her. Her mother is smiling and almost jumping up and down from excitement. Seraphina thinks sometimes that maybe her mother just really wants grandkids. Seraphina would settle for a loving girl and maybe an adopted kid, though.
Seraphina just wishes her mother would calm down and accept homosexual people.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The next morning, before school, Seraphina Googles 'conversation starters'. She gets more and more frustrated as she finds things that would be weird if she asked them randomly. She giggles softly as she imagines herself tapping Thalia's shoulder and going, "Hey Thalia! What's something that's popular right now but annoys you? I mean, I've never really talked to you and I sound creepy, but yes, that's my question!"
Seraphina also thinks she would never be brave enough to do that.
She stops on one, and thinks. She has seen Thalia listen to music from earbuds before. And Seraphina sometimes thinks of Thalia as a sort of punk princess, one that would definitely go to a concert or rock out to music.
She decides to ask her about her music tastes and if she has ever gone to a concert. She hopes that she'll have enough courage to, at least.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thalia is sitting next to an empty chair. As usual. Her table is empty- as usual.
Then a girl comes and sits down across from her.
Thalia knows who this girl is- Seraphina. Seraphina is a quiet girl who is always drawing in a sketchbook and listening to music- she honestly never seems to be without her earbuds. Thalia thinks Seraphina is the quietest girl she has ever know- honestly, has she ever started a conversation before?
And then Seraphina speaks. Thalia is shocked, really, and doesn't process the question until a bit later- "What kind of music do you listen to?" Thalia goes, "Well- um- well, there are a lot- who do you listen to?"
Seraphina, smiling, names an artist that Thalia loves, and Thalia's face lights up as she tells her that she listens to the artist too. Then she remembers the first drawing that she's seen in Seraphina's sketchbook- Troye Sivan- and mentions that she listens to him as well. And the two talk about music, and so much more, and Thalia is glad to be talking to someone that isn't a friend from her old school.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Seraphina thinks she could live off Troye Sivan's music. She's oh so thankful to him- he started the conversation off, really. She logs into her social media and talks to her closest online friend, telling her excitedly about the conversation they had. Lina has already heard about Seraphina's crush and her problem about her not being able to talk to Thalia, and is just as happy as Seraphina.
Then Seraphina goes and listens to more Troye Sivan music. His voice is soothing and makes her fall asleep immediately.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thalia likes Seraphina, she decides. Seraphina may be quiet at times, but she is a great person to talk to. Thalia finds herself looking forward to talking to her, and it is very different for her. Thalia likes girls, but she doesn't like one in particular.
Suddenly she finds herself thinking about a possible future romantic relationship with Seraphina. And the thought isn't such a bad idea.
Thalia doesn't have any close friends, really, except the ones from her old school. It took a new job opportunity, like all clichés have, to do this. Thalia wishes she could make new friends, but everyone is already in groups and don't seem like the type to talk to Thalia.
She's very eager to talk to Seraphina, though. Seraphina is a girl she finds herself liking more and more.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Seraphina finds herself drifting away from her friends. She's talking more and more to internet friends and thinking of Thalia. She thinks that next time, she'd let the conversation go where it wants.
Seraphina has hope. She knows it's not a good thing- if Thalia is not gay, or doesn't like her, she'll be left broken. Seraphina doesn't want this to happen at all.
But still- maybe, just maybe, the two will be more that friends.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The two girls talk more and more often. Seraphina finds herself sitting next to Thalia in her free time, or just watching the beautiful girl draw and paint in art. Thalia is so talented, and she wishes sometimes that she could paint like her.
Thalia likes spending time with Seraphina. She finds herself spilling things that she has told no one before, and she doesn't regret it. Seraphina holds her secrets, and Thalia trusts her with them.
Thalia goes home and calls her friend, Matthew. Matt is a fun, teasing guy, but he has good advice. Thalia explains to him about Seraphina and her confusion. She talks into the phone for a solid half hour, in which Matt does nothing but listen.
The he gives his advice. "Well, Thalia, imagine this. Late nights cuddling with this girl, butterfly kisses and safe hugs, hand in hand walking with her, being with her. How does that sound?"
How does that sound? Well, Thalia's never wanted anything more.
"Go for her, girl." Matt whispers. Thalia has a feeling he's smiling across the state.
And oh, Thalia will. She'll get this girl and be with her.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Seraphina can't believe what happened. She keeps touching her lips, her eyes glazed over in disbelief.
Is she hallucinating? She hopes she isn't, because this is too good to believe.
Thalia's lips and hers touched less than an hour ago.
Seraphina is locked inside a bathroom stall right now, trying to remember exactly everything that happened with Thalia. It's hard though- everything is a blur with that girl. It was in the park, she knows that.
Thalia must have been the one to make the move- she knows that she would be too afraid to. The words spoken are lost to her- Seraphina can't remember anything the two girls talked about.
What she does remember, though, is being with Thalia in the park. Kissing back.
This was Seraphina's first kiss. She has never had a relationship before, and she's scared of what will happen. Most of all, she's scared that it will discontinue their friendship if they break up. And never ever would she want that.
The door to the bathroom swings open, but Seraphina doesn't move. It's when the door to her stall opens does she jump up- perhaps it wasn't as locked up as she thought.
It's the very last person Seraphina would want to see right now, in her state of shock and happiness and disbelief. Thalia stands there with a caring look on her face.
"Seraphina." She says. And Thalia saying her name makes Seraphina want to think. About life and the world and the future. She wants to think about everything, really, in silence.
"Thalia, I just… need some time. Alone."
Thalia doesn't go away, though. She sits down next to Seraphina and she doesn't really care that it's disgusting to be on the bathroom floor like this. Thalia holds out her arms, and Seraphina- not really knowing why- falls into them. They sit like that for a while- Seraphina's face buried in Thalia's skirt, and Thalia holding her, rubbing her back.
Finally Seraphina speaks. "I don't want anything to happen to us. I don't want to be broken and I don't want our friendship to leave. I… I just don't know anymore."
Thalia strokes Seraphina's hair and whispers, "It's going to be okay, baby. I'll be right here. I won't leave, Sera. Everything will be fine."
And by the way Thalia says it, Seraphina believes every word.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thalia is content. She's made her move on Seraphina and is very close to asking Seraphina out. She's always been a girl who just does something and goes for it, so she might just ask her straight out.
The two have been spending a lot of time together lately. Thalia finds herself happier than she's been in a long time with Seraphina, and hopes it'll last for a long time afterwards.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Their first date is by a lake. They sit inside the benches of the cute gazebo leading into the lake, kissing and talking. They share bites of food and laugh together, and just enjoy each other's presence.
Seraphina never imagined this. Her being with Thalia was all an impossible dream. But now, it's reality.
She laughs as Thalia taps her nose, and squeezes her hand tighter. Thalia takes out her IPod and earbuds, and shows Seraphina her favorite songs. They sit there, one earbud in one ear, holding hands and looking out to the lake. And they see so many possibilities.
When it gets dark, they both lie on the grass and look at the stars. They seem to shine brighter than ever, just for them. Seraphina sees a shooting star and makes a wish: that both she and Thalia could be like this forever- together and free, growing old and still being with each other.
Forever isn't a word that Seraphina uses lightly.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Will you be my girlfriend?" Seraphina asks shyly.
"I thought that was already implied", says Thalia lazily. She leans over to tuck a piece of hair behind Seraphina's ear.
Seraphina thinks that Thalia might be the only person to ever make her smile so big.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thalia feels like she might throw up.
Jason is currently pouring his heart out to Thalia's girlfriend. And she is not okay with that.
There is no emotion on Seraphina's face. Disbelief, maybe? Thalia can't tell.
"Seraphina, I've watched you for such a long time and you're such a special girl."
Thalia thinks this first remark is creepy. Doesn't Jason realize that he sounds like a stalker? The second statement, though, she can agree with. Seraphina is the most special girl in the world.
"You're so admirable and talented, and I just want to be with you."
A flare of jealousy rises up in Thalia. Who is he to want to be with Seraphina? God, he isn't even up to Seraphina's level.
She glances over at her girlfriend's face. Seraphina is biting her lip nervously, confused on what to do. Her hands are clenched.
"You're so beautiful and I would love it if you could go on a date with me maybe. I was thinking-" Jason continues with his little speech, only to be cut off by Seraphina talking for the first time since he got here.
"Jason." She says. "I'm sorry but… I'm already dating someone. And I don't think I'm going to break up with them soon." Seraphina hesitantly reaches out and takes Thalia's hand. Thalia squeezes encouragingly.
Jason looks at the two's hands, gaping. "You- you-re a lesbian?"
Seraphina smiles nervously. She's not the best when it comes to situations like this. "If you mean I like girls, then yes. Yes I do, and Thalia is my girlfriend. Can we still be friends?" Seraphina still doesn't take her hand off Thalia's though, not even to shake on 'friends.'
Jason nods and leaves, looking sad. Thalia feels a bit sorry for him, and turns around and captures Seraphina's lips with hers.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Jason feels like needles are pricking him, over and over again. It's been four months. Four months since he discovered that the girl of his dreams was dating someone else. And that he'd never get a chance with her.
It was one thing if she was dating a guy. There would be a chance of them breaking up, and possibly her falling for Jason. But she's gay. And she will never, ever like him.
Jason hates the word now, the word meaning that the two of them, him and Seraphina, are worlds apart. There's no chance for him. None at all.
He's suffered four long months of seeing the happy couple now. Seeing Seraphina kiss Thalia, give her eskimo kisses and surprise her with hugs from behind. He's seen her lean into Thalia and once, cry on her shoulder.
He desperately wishes that he could be the one there for her.
And every single time he sees them, he feels needle pricking at him. It's like there's sand in his eyes, but he can't get it out. He just has to keep walking.
Jason feels broken. It's been four long months of needles poking at him.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"I need you to be my fake boyfriend." Seraphina rushes out.
"What?" Jason freezes.
"My parents. They're getting suspicious of me. Being gay, I mean. So I need someone to step in and pretend to be my boyfriend for a while. We'll break up after a month, I promise. It'll just be a while. Please? For me?" Seraphina looks at him with wide eyes, and Jason doesn't need much convincing. He agrees.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"SERAPHINA BELLA HALL GET UP HERE RIGHT NOW."
Seraphina runs upstairs and wonders what's going on. Why is her father yelling?
She finds her mother sobbing and her father looking as if he is about to explode with anger. And there, in her mom's hands, crumpled up… is the paper that she wrote on, all those days ago, about her feelings for Thalia.
Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no. Seraphina suddenly can't breathe and a tear has already leaked out. Her father starts yelling at her about what's right and judgment and… well, Seraphina doesn't know. She can only hear blurred out yells. Her mother is still weeping in the middle of this, and Seraphina doesn't know what to do.
In the middle of it all- a phone call.
No. Not right now, she thinks. Her father snatches up her phone and looks at the caller ID. And like, Seraphina thought, it is Thalia. Seraphina's heart is beating hard and fast, and she wishes that Thalia will be okay.
Seraphina's father picks it up, because he has realized that this is the girl that is on the paper. Then he begins yelling into the phone, and Seraphina wants to sink into the floor. She's crying, she realizes, and she hopes Thalia can't hear.
"Stay away from my daughter! You both can go to hell and suffer, see if I care less!" are one of the remarks that her father is yelling.
He finally puts down the phone and Seraphina knows that Thalia has been listening quietly. She's scared of what Thalia is thinking right now.
"We expect you out of the house by the end of the week." Her mother says through tears. "I don't care where you go, you just need to get out."
"Where did we go wrong? We tried so hard to raise you to be a good, straight daughter. Are you just faking out of rebellion? Or we can fix this, there are some places that fix gay people."
Seraphina tries to explain that this is not a choice, and you can't turn gay, but her father shakes her head and tells her to be out of the house by Friday.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thalia holds out her arms the next morning at school when she sees Seraphina, and Seraphina falls into them and cries. She cries and cries tears that she cannot hold back, and Thalia holds her all throughout it.
"Live with me" Thalia whispers against her.
"What?" asks Seraphina. She isn't quite sure if she heard right.
"Your parents want you out of the house, right? My parents won't mind, they like you. Come live with me, we'll have fun."
Seraphina sniffles and nods. "We have to check with your parents and I will. Do… do you really want me to?"
Thalia smiles. "Absolutely, princess.' Seraphina glows when Thalia says 'princess' and she knows that she wouldn't mind if the rest of her life was with her.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Long lingering kisses. Fingers stroking hair, sleeping in the other's lap. Beautiful smiles, bliss, certainness. It was perfect. And nothing could be better.
"When I look at you… I see my future, you know."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"I love you."
Seraphina promptly falls off her bed in her and Thalia's shared room. It seems as if Thalia hasn't realized what she has said though.
"I love you more!" Seraphina calls from the floor. She's overly happy, so much that she stays on the floor for another half hour, staring at a notch in the wooden floor and feeling thankful for everything in the whole world.
From then on, the two girls constantly tell each other those three words.
"I love you."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Seraphina is feeling particularly down today. It's because of the age difference. "Thalia." She says, causing Thalia to look up from her book. "I don't know if you've noticed." She continues. "But I'm way younger than you. Wouldn't you rather be with someone closer to your own age?"
Thalia smiles. "Two years isn't that much. I'm aware that I am older than you, yes. And are you encouraging me to break up with you?"
Seraphina's eyes go wide as she realizes that she did say her words in a way like that. She shakes her head as Thalia laughs.
Thalia scoots over to give Seraphina a long kiss. "Don't worry, love. I'm not planning to break up with you anytime soon. At all."
Suddenly Seraphina doesn't feel so insecure about the age difference anymore.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thalia is going to college today and Seraphina is worried about their relationship. The two would barely see each other, and Seraphina doesn't want anything to change.
"You can visit." Thalia promises. "I'll visit over holidays. It isn't that far. We'll keep in touch, I'll Skype you and we can text. I love you, Seraphina. It'll be okay. I'm right here."
Like the very first day that they kissed, Seraphina believes her. Everything would be absolutely okay.
Seraphina follows Thalia into her dorm and looks around the room. She smiles as Thalia puts her One Direction poster up on the walls- it's been years and years and Thalia still loves them.
Needless to say, when Seraphina found out that Thalia loved One Direction back in sophomore year, she thought Thalia was straight.
She realizes now that she's not.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Somehow, the relationship holds out and works. All those years- Thalia's college and Seraphina's college. The girls go to different schools, but they see each other as often as they can. They're both very loyal to each other.
After all, there's no one they would rather have than each other.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
After Seraphina's graduation, she jumps into Thalia's arms and kisses her hard. She's happy- her happily ever after might be just around the corner.
"Move in with me Sera." Thalia says, giving her a smile that shoots her up to heaven.
"Absolutely Thals", she replies. Thalia spins her around slightly, and she wishes that they could be as happy as this, forever.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thalia is taking Seraphina back to the lake. Seraphina is 25 and Thalia is 27 now- they've had ups and downs, and even one fight that caused Seraphina to sleep over at a friend's house- but they're okay. Together and okay and happy.
Seraphina sees an internet friend in the tiny gazebo and she gasps. For the first time, in real life, she's meeting her friend that she's shared everything with for years… god, if Thalia planned this, Seraphina won't be able to thank her enough. Seraphina runs, a purple and black blur, and tackles the girl inside the gazebo. "Lina!" she exclaims. "What are you doing here? How did you know-?"
Lina puts her finger to her lips and turns Seraphina around, and Seraphina promptly bursts into tears.
Thalia is walking up the path with a ring in a box in her hand. She seems to glow in the sunlight and Seraphina thinks that Thalia has never looked as beautiful as she does now.
She reaches her and gets on one knee. "Seraphina Hall, you beautiful girl. I'm glad we became friends, because from then on we went to be girlfriends, and I hope today we can make it one step further. You are by far the most enchanting person in the world and I could never stop loving you. You make me the happiest girl on Earth. And today, I want to make you my fiancée, and I love you so much baby. Seraphina Bella Hall, if you say no then you know I'm going to bother you for the rest of your life until you say yes so you better save time and say yes right now, will you marry me?"
"God, Thalia, I love you. Yes I will marry you Thalia Jane. And anyways, you'd kill me if I said no." Seraphina says shakily from her tears. She couldn't be happier.
Thalia slips the glimmering engagement ring onto her fiancé's finger and kisses her. They stay in each other's arms for a long time after that, both of them happy. Lina slips out silently and discreetly, smiling at the two girls. And as for Seraphina and Thalia?
Forever.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A/N:
This may or may not be the longest thing I've written in a day.
I actually love love love how I portrayed Thalia and Seraphina! Thalia was very hard to write, but I hope you guys got what I was aiming for: a sort of fierce and strong princess-y girl.
I might continue this with a better ending later, but for now, this is going to stay a one-shot :)
Thank you for reading this, and I hope you enjoyed! A review would make me so, so happy!